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soulgaga · Jan 29, 2011, 10:31 AM

My boyfriend and I, have been together for 2 years, but we're not living together. He had a kid when he was 17 with a woman 3years older than him. They had a child because of a one-night- stand and that was the reason for them to have relationship because he had her pregnant. I've known boyfriend since I was in grade school, so were not really strangers to each other.

We met again we were 22 years old, (we're 24 now) and his daughter in that time was 4years old.

He said that he never loved daughter's mother that much and what he felt for the both of them before we the time we were able to meet again was the sense of obligation. They had closure when our relationship was 6months old, and after that, he didn't communicate the other party even he didn't get his daughter anymore weekly.

I'm still bothered that he has a kid somewhere else, but he keeps on telling me he don't care at all for the his kid. I don't know if he's telling the truth, or he's just afraid to tell me the truth that he wants to see his kid. I mean, could be possible that he could just forget his child just like that?

NukeNC · Jan 29, 2011, 10:36 AM

If he has a daughter he doesn't care about, regardless with who, he probably isn't a very good guy in the first place.

If not that, then most likely he is lying to you and trying to strengthen your bond in a completely stupid way. Not many relationship go well, when they start with a lie.

I'm seeing nothing but red flags here honestly.

soulgaga · Jan 29, 2011, 10:51 AM

Maybe he's not a very good guy and at the same time trying to strengthen our bond in an absurd way!
He had that kid when he was 17 because of a one-night-stand relationship. They tried to have an on/off relationship but it still it didn't work out well. The ex's parents did not accept boyfriend ever since they were kind of pushy. Until things between them really got cranky and the girl decided not to give rights to boyfriend. And since then he's been telling me that I should forget about them because he is not even bothered by fathering a child. Its just crazy. How can I accept the idea that he has a kid, when he keeps on instilling me that the kid is already impossible for him to father..

talaniman · Jan 29, 2011, 10:58 AM

He may well be trying to keep you appeased, and keep things civil between you, and his baby mama. Maybe his baby mama has drama with another female being in her daughters life. Maybe that's the agreement between them, not to involve you with his daughter. I really don't know, but maybe its best to ask him, and not assume. Or just take him at his word, and deal with it accordingly.

soulgaga · Jan 29, 2011, 11:03 AM

Thanks... ive been asking him, but he says that he doesn't have affection.. even the kid's mum has already burned the bridges between them because he is really lousy in fathering the kid.
But I can feel if he still have d chance, he'd still want to father the kid. I suppose I just have to deal with his words though..