[AlphaXIII]

hello, I am new to this forum. Im 23 years old and my girlfriend is 21. We have been together for the last 2.5 years and it has been the best years of my life. We promised each other that neither one of us would leave one another EVER! We had a baby boy 7 months ago, we didn't plan on having a baby so soon,but I'm glad we did because being a father is the best feeling in the world besides being together with her :), we did want to have multiple children eventually and get married n grow old together. We both love each other very much and has been a great relationship up until 3 months ago. She told me she wanted to take a break because she wasn't happy with herself and she wanted a few things of me to change, I was heart broken, but at the same time I love this girl with all my heart n energy, I decided to be cool with it and let her have her space.I promised her I would change a few things( not making enough money(I got a new job), to stop playing video games, to go out more often, to buy her things randomly, etc.), and I did and went above and beyond of what she asked of me. 2 months went by and then we got back together, she seemed like she had her head on straight and knew exactly what she wanted. Everything was great and then 2 months later she said she wasn't happy again and wants to take a break again so she can get beter, which happened 2 days ago. I am completely heart broken again. She keeps telling me she loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of her life but wants time for herself so she can get beter. Now I didn't mention this before, she has been severely depressed before we started dating and has been on medication the whole time we've been together. The first time we had our break I tried my best to make her happy and do things so she wouldn't be depressed, but she can't help herself and I've tried to help her but its not working, I mentioned to her that she should go see a consuller or therapist to help herself, she said she would. I honestly believe she is suffering from postpardum depression, her mom even told her that she is. I love this girl sooo much she means everything to me, and to see her like this is killing me. I want to give her her space again, because I know this girl is the one for me, she is worth every bit of pain that I feel but at the same time do I wait around for her and hope she is telling me the truth about being together, or do I just end it and stop trying, which is something I deffenitly don't want to do, but I just want to hear if anyone has had somewhat of the same experience or just give me some suggestions.

[Wondergirl]

[it] has been a great relationship up until 3 months ago. she told me she wanted to take a break because she wasnt happy with herself and she wanted a few things of me to change

"Taking a break" is NOT how relationships work. MATURE couples join forces (not fall apart) in order to fix the things that are broken in their lives, whether it's personal things or joint things. That's how love is strengthened, when both walk together, hand in hand, through the fire, over the glowing coals.

She needs to see her doctor (OB maybe, or family doctor, for sure). Being referred to a psychiatrist and/or counselor for further therapy would be a Very Good Thing. Meanwhile, you keep your fingers in the pie and help wherever you can.

[talaniman]

Give her space, as on top of her other issues she may be suffering from giving birth recently. Yes, this is an exercise in patience and understanding, but realizing that you are not her medication, nor should you try to be, and you will be connected by this child a very long time, so short term glitch's have to be worked through. Sometimes just backing off for a while is the answer.

She has a lot of healing to do, and will go through all kinds of changes especially after a life changing event like child birth, and its sounds like her first, so see this as a marathon, and not a sprint. No need to push, just be a great dad, and give her all the time, and space she needs.

[AlphaXIII]

Thank you for the feedback it is much apperciated, I do plan on giving her all the space she needs and am there for her to give my 100% support along the way. I am and always will be a great father for my son, and will continue to spend as much time as I can with him so she can have time alone without having him to distract her from her own problems. I went over to her apartment this morning to have a coffee and a cigarette with her, we chatted and talked about us in the future and now she is saying that if we really are soul mates(which I believe we are) we will get back together but to not wait around for her, if I get the opportunity to be happy by doing something else then to take it, which I agree with, I don't want to be down on myself for this issue for the rest of my life, but I do love this girl sooo much and is really hard to not think of her because we did everything together, I don't have anything besides my son that will really get my mind off her, and even then he is still a part of her so when I look at him it reminds me of her, but I love him :D. again thanks for the feedback. Keep it coming :) you guys rock !

[Wondergirl]

The most important person in this is the baby, so good for you for stepping up and vowing to always put him first in your life -- not first with giving him every toy he wants, but putting him first to protect him and to help raise him to be a good person. Like Tal said, be available and willing to step in whenever you can, for both her and the baby.