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    rebelman25's Avatar
    rebelman25 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 28, 2009, 10:03 AM
    My girlfriend of four years wants to take a break
    We met in high school when she was 15 I was 17, we moved in together after she graduated we have been having fights over stupid things a lot maybe every other day, but we always make up, she has been wanting to go out with friends more which is healthy for our time apart but on night I wanted to go to and she wouldn't let me we got in this big fight and she didn't come home that night, the next day she came home and said she thinks we should take a break she said that if we hadn't lived togather we would have een happier, I kept wanting to talk about it and it only made things worse, she upgraded her decision to I just want to be single and go out and party and be free, we were each others first loves and intemate partners, she said she's changed and is not the same person she used to be , but I still love her more than anything and will do anything I need to do to make it work, she said I can stay at the apartment for another month until I find a place to stay, I think I should give her her space and show her that I'm changed by doing little things differently and letting her know I love her and hoping shell come back to me, she said she loves me still she's just not in love me me right now, I believe she's had it up to the top with the fighting and the big fight sealed it, she said in a few months we can maybe see if she feels differently but right now she doesn't feel the same way but maybe she will, what do I do please help
    rebelman25's Avatar
    rebelman25 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Apr 28, 2009, 10:12 AM
    One thing to add she said she wants to date other people and hang out with guys an she wants me to do the same
    myuz's Avatar
    myuz Posts: 59, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Apr 28, 2009, 10:14 AM

    Sounds kind of similar to what I went through, give her the time and space she asks for. Do something nice and surprising to show her you still care in a weeks time.

    Me and my lady went our own ways. I blew it by trying to get her back too much. Now we are through. I lost the love of my life.

    My girl and I started dating when I was 18 and she 16 so pretty close to you two. I think that girls when they get in a serious relationship so young, they go through a phase where they want to just be single and have fun.

    Doesn't sound to promising however that she isn't in love with you though.

    My honest advice is to give her the time and space and keep busy. I joined the gym, started hanging out with friends more, joined an online dating site, started hanging out with my older brother more, go to the casino once a week, clean up do chores, work some OT. The gym has eben the best part for me, as I can take my frustration and sadness out on the weights. Not to mention you feel a lot better about yourself.

    Hope this helps, I am no expert but I know what your going through man, its tough.

    Its tougher for me cause mine said she still in love with me and the same maybe we get back together in a month or something. I isn't sitting around waiting though, I'm keeping busy even meet a few new girls now. Taking it slow though
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #4

    Apr 28, 2009, 10:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by rebelman25 View Post
    one thing to add she said she wants to date other people and hang out with guys an she wants me to do the same
    This is when you immediately cut her a$$ out of your life. Once a girl tells you they want to date other guys it is a sure fire way to realize it is over... sorry man, but time to check out. This ain't no break. You make sure you don't wait around like a lost puppy. She has lost a good dude and it is up to you to ensure that you don't let her back in.

    "Women run off...they leave...they die..." :cool:
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #5

    Apr 28, 2009, 10:18 AM

    When you are 19 you are not the person you were at 15 and she has grown and changed and her feelings for you,while very real at one time have changed as well.

    It happens all the time and you must move on if she is moving on.

    You can't bring back what you had and I do not think there is any fault to be placed here.
    It is just that she grew up and her love for you did not.

    Be glad you had what you did and know that you can never make anyone love you.When it is gone,it is gone.

    Give her space and don't hold out hope for a future.Get on with a life without her. Good luck!
    myuz's Avatar
    myuz Posts: 59, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Apr 28, 2009, 10:41 AM

    Not to mention listening to the song heartless by kanye has really helped lol. Not to mention attention from gals online has helped to show me hey you what its her loss!
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #7

    Apr 28, 2009, 10:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by myuz View Post
    not to mention listening to the song heartless by kanye has really helped lol. Not to mention attention from gals online has helped to show me hey you what its her loss!
    Not to burst your buble, but attention from girls online isn't something to brag about. The internet has de-socialized a lot of our society, the key is to meeting new people, face to face and developing relationships from there. Just sayin'...
    myuz's Avatar
    myuz Posts: 59, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Apr 28, 2009, 10:46 AM

    Ive met two already off there, seeing one again this weekend! We 'll see what happens. The other one kind of bombed...
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #9

    Apr 28, 2009, 11:03 AM

    What ever happened to going out and meeting people without the help of the internet? It's sad that our society is now reduced to meeting each other online before any interactions take place in person.

    Usually when someone tells you they want to see other people, it means they already have and don't want to feel guilty about it anymore. This relationship is over and she's just trying to let you down easy, she isn't going to be waiting for you
    apachemono's Avatar
    apachemono Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 28, 2009, 11:03 AM

    I agree with Myuz... keep moving in life... life is too short to wait or cry over things u know will never be yours... and also I read somewhere.. Marry a person who loves you not to whom you love... that really makes a difference
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #11

    Apr 28, 2009, 11:13 AM
    You are free to enjoy your own options, and opportunities, don't waste a minute on what has happened with her. That's over, and done with.

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