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alyssajane · Sep 16, 2010, 11:09 PM

Curlyben · Sep 17, 2010, 12:02 AM

With such scant information we cannot assist you further.

ScottGem · Sep 17, 2010, 03:59 AM

Your "real" mother is the woman who raised you. The woman who put a bandaid on your skinned knee, the woman who set with you when you had the flu, the woman who dried your tears when your first boyfriend dumped you. You get the idea!

Who your biological mother is, we can't tell you. We can only suggest that you join one or more of the many websites that offer a chance for adoptees and their biological parents to get together.

Synnen · Sep 17, 2010, 05:22 AM

Who is your imaginary mother?

Every last one of us has dozens of "real" mothers. Your biological mother. Your adoptive mother (if you are adopted). Your grandmother(s). Your aunts. Your godmothers. Your friends' mothers. Your foster mother(s), if you are in foster care.

Which one of those people isn't "real"? Any one of them could be a person who makes decisions that are based in love and your best interests--and THAT is what makes a "real" mother--not who gave birth to you, and not who is on your birth certificate, and not who bandaged your knee when you fell. To say that biology is greater than raising you, or that raising you is greater than the sacrifice of losing you to adoption as a way of determining your "real" parent is to negate the sacrifices that the other (apparently imaginary) parent makes for you.