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    jdep81's Avatar
    jdep81 Posts: 0, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 27, 2010, 07:40 AM
    Signing over parental rights in nc
    I was trying to reply to confused01 about his issues with the child's mother and relinquishing his rights. I agree with him on mostly everything, to me it sounds like he is hurting on the inside and he is looking for some guidance and help but people just judged him and gave opinions. That's why people don't communicate and there are so many suicides and murders. When people let others know their thoughts or intentions or pain, people use it against them. That's why people shutdown and hold it in until they explode. I'm in the same situation he is in, except my ex-wife just up and took my son from NC to CA which is 3,000 miles away. She can't get in trouble for that but let me not send her money and see what happens to me. Women abuse the child support system and there is no punishment for them but if a man does any wrong he is punished and burdened to no end. Is sad to see so called christians admit to the fact that they WERE going to judge this guy who was only looking at his options. This world will make you want to take your life... Everybody who judged him needs to take a look at their own life and judge that, I guarantee you won't like what you see. What does a guy do that has a child, the woman takes the child and because she is mad, decides "well im going to take him to court and make him pay for what he did to me", (using the child as leverage). This guy don't make much money as it is and he at least wants to be able to see the child and spend time with the child. He ain denying the child or anything, but when it comes to courts ordering something he is stressed because he knows they are going to make him pay a ridiculous amount every month and he don't have it. You can't get water from a well that is dry. He agrees that he will send what he can but its not good enough for her (she wants her bills paid). So, where does that leave the guy at? He considers termination of rights, not because he wants to disown the child but to unburden himself to try and find a way to be able to do for the child. People are so unmerciful today. If I was denying my own child like my ex says I am why is it that everybody who works with me and knows me, knows of him? Also, if I am such a horrible person why am I tryn at all? I'm not the one who lied about visiting California and never came back (thats is seen as kidnapping in God's eyes). So who was thinking of the child, me or her? All people care about is money, money, money. If a father doesn't have money he is a dead beat dad. You people(men and women) who agree with the system is only setting yourselves up for failure in the long run. Keep judging and you shall be judged, and everything that I have spoken applies to me to.
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #2

    Aug 27, 2010, 08:58 AM
    It's is not judging someone to tell them the facts and law that apply to their question.

    I won't refer to a specific post because it applies to many similar posts.
    Basics; Want to sign over parental rights in order to not pay child support.


    The system may not be fair.
    Especially in the visitation vs support wars.
    The main reason here is the government will pursue the cash. They don't want to pay for children's support when somebody else is suppose to pay.
    Is this a surprise?

    The individual parent has to initiate his or her own litigation in the visitation issue at their expense.Not easy or inexpensive but justice in America ,at times, can be dependent on your bank account.
    Been there done that, I won custody it can be done. I sold a car to pay for an attorney.
    You want visitation find a way to get an attorney. Then fight. It's the only chance you have.

    These are the hard cold facts as I have experienced this situation.

    The other hard cold facts are;

    Your children are entitled to be supported by both parents.
    If you didn't take this into account before you made the children, It's your own fault.
    The law may not be fair in the handling of this, but it is the law .
    If you want to change it , vote or something. Good luck

    I don't like parts of it. It isn't fair in a huge number of cases.And telling you this is not judging you.

    Legally and morally you are obligated to support your children.

    As Walter Cronkite said "That's the way it is"
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #3

    Aug 27, 2010, 09:17 AM

    First, If you want to reply to a thread use the Answer This Question options. Don't start a new thread. I did find that thread and since it was 3 years old, it was closed which is why you couldn't reply to it. But I reviewed the thread found here:
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...hts-80515.html
    I also moved your thread to the Member Discussions forum, since you aren't really asking or answering a question.

    Frankly, I think you are way off base here. I understand why you posted what you did, but we helped that OP as best as we could seeing his question was a legal issue. We were not really judgmental, but what he wanted was not available under the law.

    As to your issues, if you want to ask for help with your problems post in the Family Law forum and we will try to help.
    A mother can't just keep a child from the father if the father wants to be a part of the child's life. A Father can fight for his rights.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 27, 2010, 03:06 PM

    I take issue with a lot of what you wrote. But Im just going to address 2 things.

    1) Is sad to see so called christians admit to the fact that they WERE going to judge this guy who was only looking at his options.

    Maybe your not aware but iit is a responsibility of christians and others to judge people and thier surroundings. They are suppose to judge right from wrong. They are suppose to help others and to know the difference between right and wrong.


    2) You people(men and women) who agree with the system is only setting yourselves up for failure in the long run.

    This is a sad commentary on your own soul. You give up. Those of us that believe things can get done know the difference. I know Ive not only seen it but have helped others do so. Even as we speak sucsess stories are building new foundations. When you get over the pity party and want to do something about your situation then go to the law board for solid advice on how to work within the system. And also how to make changes along the way. Never give up.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #5

    Aug 27, 2010, 03:13 PM

    When you get over the pity party and want to do something about your situation then go to the law board for solid advice on how to work within the system.

    AMEN!!

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