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    lonelyheart_MD's Avatar
    lonelyheart_MD Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:02 PM
    Break up Blues.

    This isn't an answer I'm having a problem.

    I do believe my ex had strong feelings for me, but he did so with everyone, he invested 15% while I invested 150%, but still he drilled the idea of marriage into my head every day but never wanted to be in a relationship, he said he wasn't ready. He controlled me like a little puppet; I did everything imaginable to please him. But know matter how hard I tried I still got cheated on, I believe he also kept his options open in the same breath of telling me that he loved me and wanted to get married and have kids. Then when he had the opportunity to move away and escape from his situation he bounced.. JUST LIKE THAT, said I was too nosey aka a controlling ***** (my words) . I keep falling into his traps, After our separation we become friends again (like two year later).. yup you guessed it he used me again.. Playing with my emotions, telling me he wants to be with me and when I come around and ask if he wants to be with me he says NO. Same excuse I'm not ready for a relationship.. *** but a week ago you were?! Can you say CRAZY!. I told him I was done playing the girlfriend role, and I cut him off. I get cussed out and called names.. a week went by you guessed it, he texted and called asking for a favor, ( I didn't reply) Not even two months went by he changed his statues on Facebook to “ in a relationship” not even a year goes by he's having a baby.. Image the pain I felt. I feel as though he is the love of my life, although he brought me much heart break and pain.. all that's left to do this pray , They say after the 2rd heart break it gets earlier. I know that I will find a secure, mature man who will include me in his life and not utilize me as a tool to fill an insatiable void. I keep telling myself THE PAIN Won't LAST FOREVER..
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:20 PM

    You allowed a lot of bad behavior, and still lived in false hope, and denial. You also are allowing him to stay in your life from afar through following him on a social sight.

    You need a good dose of NO CONTACT, so you can heal and move beyond this hurt.

    Go here and see how. Read ALL the stickies.
    jillia's Avatar
    jillia Posts: 20, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #3

    Aug 17, 2010, 08:55 AM

    I know what your going through, there right now myself. I keep telling myself what frickin idiot Iam for playing this game. You notice I didn't say his game,because I am finally coming to realization that this is also my game, you can't have a game with out players. My hope is that I can keep with my resolve to finally move on.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 17, 2010, 09:03 AM

    You allowed this man to do this to you.
    The first time, that's too bad but you let him do it again and again.
    Leave him alone totally and get yourself together.
    He is what he is and he will use you again at any and every opportunity. Don't give him one.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Aug 17, 2010, 11:04 AM

    You are so lucky to have let this one get away.

    You do deserve someone who loves you and treats you with kindness and respect. You didn't need a "yo-yo" relationship like he kept dangling in front of you.

    Yes it's hard, but just be grateful that you aren't the one who's having his baby, as I don't think he'd ever be real dependable.

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