[ghani2k8]

Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for a little over three years. Things where great in the beginning as usual. We lived together for two years and she loved me so much when I was just taking things for granted I was never ready to really commit to her I was always acting like a kid. Im 29yrs old now and she is 25. We split up again almost four months ago and I still love her more than life its self we still text or talk on the phone from time to time but its always me begging for her to take me back. I also think she maybe involved with somebody else but not on a serious note. She admits she still loves me and still has fellings for me but not as strong as they once where and I don't blame her because for it because it was me who messed the whole thing up. She is beautiful and I love her from the tips of my toes to the top of my head I proposed to her recently but it was completely the wrong time to do so but she still has the ring. She also has a beautiful daughter from a previous relationship that I love and I have grown very attched to and feel like she is my own daughter. Is there anyone out there who can help me win her back or tell me what to do as I really and truly love this girl so much I don't want to let her go. Thanks in advance

[talaniman]

Sorry I can't tell you how to get her back, but I know the pain your going through, and know how it can get better. Start taking your dignity, and self respect back, and lose the guilt, by leaving her alone, and focus on building a life that you enjoy, and are happy with YOURSELF, and the life you have built for yourself.

Then at least you will have something good to look forward to, and attract someone who wants to share it with you. Like many before you, you have neglected yourself, and have become a mess, because you think that will change an exes mind. That never works, but getting your manhood, and confidence back, will change YOU, for the better.

[MyKalani]

If you want her back, you should stop calling her.
I know it is totally the opposite of what you want and think that you should do.
My girlfriend broke up with me about 30 months ago. I tried all that I could to get her back. Mailed, called, textmessage, wrote letters etc...
It was strange, we always had a super band, we could talk about all and we always understood each other very well.
But suddenly, she had no time for me, did not responded my mails etc...
To make short all I did seemed to make it worse.
I searched the net, downloaded all I could find, I wanted to have her back
What you should do (I know it is very hard):
Stop any contact with her, send her a short note that you understand now and that you respect her choice.
Don't call, mail, write, etc...
GIVE HER THE CHANCE TO START TO MISS YOU
Right now you are a pain in the neck, you wine, walk around with a "depression" (people don't like to spend time with depressed people)

I suggest that you ask a good friend of yours to help you because otherwise you will feel the need to call her and you want to tell her how much you miss her.
Ask a friend to standby your side, each time you have a hard time call him, tell him he should hold you from calling her.

Eventually she will start to miss you (my ex called me back exactly 1 month later like nothing happened, she called was joyfull, etc... )
She is wondering what is happening with you, if you are over her, if you have someone else etc...
She will some way contact you, if she does > make sure you act happy, tell her that you are surprised to hear her but that for the moment you are short on time, that you will call back later
(DO THIS NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU CONNECT, I know it is hard but you have to)

WAIT to call her, right now she has a million ideas what is going on with you, if you don't need her anymore, she expected that you dropped everything to call her back.

If you call her, make sure that you sound happy, don't talk about the end of your relation, (right now you need to try to pick her up, DON'T TRY TO fix the relation. PICK HER UP!! )

I can assure you that it works.

For the record I tell you how mine ended.
She started to call me each day, we saw us reguraly, she even offered me to spend the night (didn't do, stupid mistake of mine)
At certain day to me it felt like we had the same band again like when we had relation, so I got sad that we got along well but still not together again.
I made a stupid mistake, I told her to stop calling me (I thougth she would feel sad for me and we would talk and things would be fine again)
It was not, she got angry and stopped calling. I then called her again but she was cold like in the beginning.
I got so angry then that I went to a lawyer (because she owed me some money) I wanted to hurt her etc... (you understand, being in that time you would do all, it's a way of trying to get attention)
Anyway, all went terrible wrong, it came to court, etc...
Now she is pissed off with me, there is no way that I can have contact with her anymore.
I should have sticked to the plan.
It is now 30 months later and I still feel like you do, especially that she almost returned to me and that I messed it up so bad.

Have a friend helping you and don't do stupid things like I did.

I had the advice from a book of J. Alexander ex back in 30 days www.exbacktips.info

[talaniman]

I just have to say, that there is no substitute for a proper healing, just so you can make better decisions for YOURSELF, based on facts, and not just feelings. Most couples that get back together often break up again, when some other issue comes up, or the same old issue that broke you up in the first place, comes back because it was not properly resolved before.

The ones who go through a proper healing rarely go back to an ex, because they realize that moving forward, not back, is what makes for BETTER options, and opportunities to be happy.

Now you can read any book you want, but start with the stickies here and the real life stories of those who have rebuilt a life that they enjoy without the ex in it, and have found happiness themselves.

That's what NO CONTACT does, allows for a proper healing. Then you can have a better plan of action when the ex doesn't come back, because most do not.