[Stanzin]

I was wondering how can I win back the trust?
The story goes like this..
I am male of 30 yrs and having a friendship with a gal who trusted and respected me but now I have lost all that..
I have been seeing her for many years but never had the courage to express that I love her.. in the mean time she feel in love and had broken relationship and she now had no trust on relationship but me I was her friend so she used to share everything she had faced with her previous relation.. She was so broken hearted. One day she felt sick and was hospitalized and I was the only person to look after him, she knew I like her and she always asked me why are you helping me. But I would answer her saying I like you only cause I never wanted to loose her. But one day in hospital bed she told me that she a new guy propose her and told me that he should be her looking after me if she loves me. But that was not to be. So I told her that he might be busy with work so he can't come. There I also told that I love her.. and one day the guy that propose her came to see her and then he started helping her in all the things and I could not cause I am busy with my work as July and Aug it the peak season of work for me.. But later I some what change my mood as I was feeling unsecure that she won't be mine.. so she started noticing that and told me several time about the change in my mood.. But what I was really feeling was that I was feeling when ever I go to meet her and this guy I felt I was breaking her heart so I wanted to whether I was not disturbing there relationship? But always she said no.. so my mood always used to be low.. oneday she said that you are selfish as you help me cause you wanted to win me.. She also said now I only need friends.. No that problem is that she feels that I am srlfish.. I think it might be right, I did cause I loved her so much...
Now I don't want to win her as a gal friend back but as a normal relation we had earlier...
Please suggest what do I have to do..
I am not so good in english... so I think you might understand me

[talaniman]

I understand your situation very well. Even though you have feelings for her she does not share the same feelings for you. You are a good friend, but you want more.

She has a romantic interest now, and even though your friendship doesn't affect her relationship, it does and is affecting YOU.

I think you back away from your friend gracefully and focus on your own life with out her.

I know, not an easy thing to do but something that must be done, so you will have a life you enjoy with your own friends, and activities, and can be happy without her in your life.

Only then can you enjoy the gift of friendship from someone you really care about, but there is no romance involved.

[Oddboots]

You can't go back because you stepped over the line.

Time to move on and forget about the gal.

[ineedpeace]

Your and mine stories are quite similar! Dude!

I can only console you and would say that you should try to leave it to the all mighty and hope that one day she would feel that you did not fell in love intentionally. Because I feel that she might not want even talk to you. So let her think on her own and let her decide who is what! To me if you are n love you can never be selfish and if you are selfish you can never be in love!

I love her, you helped her, you cared for her now it is up to you,how she takes it! Don't make her realize! Let her feel it on its own!And try to be out of her life and dive in tons of work and don't think what she said to you! If you have loved her she would understand! And I am sure she would!