[princess_hamka]

I been married to this guy for two years,
I'm british and he is not, we are from different countries, but we fell in love and got married!
He gambles but apart from that he's perfect, I've had a lot of ex's so I learnt a lot from men whilst with him, I'm he's first proper relationship, anyway we are married whislt he is sorting out he's papers for this country,I do everything to make him happy, I don't ask for holiday or money,I depend on myself, but poitn being I have been talking about babies and every time he says yes yes yes but as they say actions speak louder then words, I explained I have done so much for you, and all I ask for is a baby but he refused, please help because I am confused on what to do? Does he love me... I think so... or does he just want papers to stay here, I mean if he cared he would give me my dream. I'm just confused and don't know what to do??

[TruthSayer0122]

If children are a deal breaker than you may have to leave him. Did you discuss this before getting married? If he told you from the beginning that he didn't want kids then he is not wrong. But if he lied about it he may be using you for those papers. Many times what your gut is telling you is a warning.

[talaniman]

How long did you know him before you were married? It seems this would be a topic of discussion before marriage, but if he isn't ready then he isn't ready for whatever reason. Did he marry you to stay in the country, highly possible.

[Jake2008]

If you are naïve enough to think that you can barter with someone to have a baby, then you are also naïve enough to be duped into someone wanting citizenship by marrying a citizen.

You aren't even sure that he loves you, and he has a gambling problem. To say that other than the gambling problem, he's a really nice guy, is like saying, if you had an alcoholic for a husband, that other than the drinking, he's a great guy. An addiction is a huge problem, and a big red flag, and does not go away just because you want it to.

You cannot pick and balance out or justify your need to have a baby, by moulding him in your mind into an appropriate husband, or father.

Please think sensibly here. The bottom line is you have married him, and you don't know who he is, what his motives are, or to what extent his gambling effects his life. You could be walking into a huge trap, and end up being stuck with a lot of debt, not to mention an uncertain future.

Please put any thought of having a baby with this man aside. You need to solve the problems you have now with him, and figure out if you want to stay married or not.

From what you have said so far, this is not a good relationship to bring a baby into the world.