[starcrush]

I don't understand if my ex boyfriend doesn't want to have nothing to do with me. Why does he keep calling me ever now and then ? And promises to come see me or pay for me to visit him .Also he wants me to move in with him. What is his problem . I ask him this question and he never answers it . Lately he will say he coming and then back out I don't know what's going on.

[JBeaucaire]

He's an "ex" so I'll assume things were less than ideal when you were officially together. The reason you're having difficulty with him NOW is because you've not walked away permanently. Again, I'll assume you stay in contact over some hope of the few good things you like about him might salvage your relationship at some point.

How am I doing? Close?

Anyway, you're confused by the mixed messages your ex is sending because you listen to them as if they were supposed to be meaningful in some way. Ready for it?. here it comes... they're not meaningful. Period.

He's thinking of you occasionally and hurts you again by contacting you when he thinks of you. Worse, you respond as if anything he says when he contacts you might be meaningful. But it's not. Hey, I bet you even KNOW it's not meaningful but you keep on "hoping", huh?

That's why a breakup with someone this disconnected from what you need as a person REQUIRES you do not contact them in any way. Ever. Nor respond in any way when they lob shots at you.

Emails... train your computer to delete emails from all of his email accounts so you never see them.

Texts... you see the number before you read them, so delete without reading, NEVER read them. If you're phone has any special "block texts from this number" feature, activate it.

Cell Calls... put a special ringtone on his numbers that are a silent ring tone, no vibrate. Never ever take the call, never notice it.

Home Calls... screen those calls, don't answer, don't let your answering machine take a message if you're home and can stop it.

Voice messages... set your voice mail/answering machine to read you the phone number prior to hearing the message and delete without listening to messages from him.

If you can't get away from his phone messages/calls, change those numbers. If you're not serious about getting over all your positive thoughts about this clearly negative-influence guy, then what you have today is what you'll keep having.