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lnjel1 · Jun 27, 2010, 12:38 PM

My ex wife refuses to return my son to me after her summer visitation and demands a custody modification before she returns him. She still has time on her visitation however not sure what to do till then. She lives in a different state but the order was made here in Indiana. My son is also wanting to stay. But has not given a good enough reason except that its his choice because he is 16 now.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 27, 2010, 12:46 PM

First where did he get a silly idea he had a choice, he does not.

And if she wants a modification, she needs to file for it, in court in Indiana where the current order is at.

So tell her OK file and you can review it and see her in court .

lnjel1 · Jun 27, 2010, 12:51 PM

What about if she don't put him on the plane at the end of summer like ordered is it hard to have the cops go and pick him up and will she get any punishment for it?

mrshodges · Jun 27, 2010, 02:55 PM

Most likely you will have to send the order to the police where she is at. They may not have to uphold it. You might have to file in that state. If they allow another states ruling they can make him get on the place or they can say she has him so she keeps him. Contact the court that issued the order and see what they have to say. You can get better answers if you post in the law fourm.

asking · Jun 27, 2010, 03:04 PM

Technically, a 16 year old does not have a choice, but his opinion matters a lot. A court will pay attention to what an older teen says and take it into account.

1. Why does your son not want to come back to live with you?
2. How long did you have custody before this?

asking · Jun 27, 2010, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by lnjel1

my ex wife refuses to return my son to me after her summer visitation and demands a custody modification before she returns him.

I'm betting this is either a bluff or an angry comment. She cannot legally not return him. But she clearly wants to change the custody arrangement. I would strongly recommend mediation, rather than heading straight for court. Court battles are not in the interest of your son.

My son is also wanting to stay. But has not given a good enough reason except that its his choice because he is 16 now.

What reasons did he give? Do you and he not get along?

Fr_Chuck · Jun 27, 2010, 03:33 PM

But don't expect the police to do anything, even if she does not return him, if she does not, you file in court for an emergancy hearing for her to be in contempt and have the court order her to produce the child in court.

Then if she does not show up in court, the court issues a warrant for her.

lnjel1 · Jun 28, 2010, 05:10 AM

I have had custody of him since he was two years old. She has all ways lived in a different state. The only time he sees her is for summer vacation. She makes no effort to call him or send birthday or holiday cards and he seldom getts a response from her when he text messages her. She works two jobs even when he is out there visiting. I found out that he stay with one of there friends for a week last year because of a vacation they took with out him. I feel that I'm always the bad guy because I'm the one that has to punish but its all fun and games when he's out there. He has chores to do here and goes to the skate park everyday out there. It's different and he cares only about himself.

ScottGem · Jun 28, 2010, 05:32 AM

First, please pay more attention to posting guidelines, there is a Read First note at the top of the Children forum, where this was moved from, directing questions of a legal nature to this forum.

If she does not return him when her visitation is up you file immediately for a contempt of court citation in the court that issued the order. They will issue a contempt citation which you send to her. If she does not comply, then you will have to go pick him up. The police will probably not do that for you. You should go with a copy of the contempt citation and inform the local police you will be attempting to recover your son as per the court order. They may or may not send an officer with you to pick him up.

If she seeks a modification, she will need to do so in Indiana. If she defies the current visitation order, it will make it harder for her to obtain a modification.

As noted, he does not get to make the choice. Only a judge can and they are required to do so based on the best interests of the child. If his reason is that his mom doesn't supervise him as much as you do, that's probably not going to fly.