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Cat1864 · May 21, 2010, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by luvybugy1988

omg i'm gonna go crazzzzzzzzzzy just found out im loosing my job in a week!!

What happened with your job?

dontknownuthin · May 21, 2010, 10:30 AM

He's not where you're at in in terms of readiness to be with one girl. He may be feeling that after two years, you guys could end up a permanent thing but he's barely an adult and isn't sure he's done shopping. I think you should cut him loose. If four years from now he's more mature and you want to be with him, you can reconsider, but if you stay with him now you'll be policing him for the rest of your life.

luvybugy1988 · May 24, 2010, 02:04 AM

Good Morning Thanks for your replys... Erm kat my job has come to an end a year ago I was made redundant so I took up temping work.
Now this has come to an end and I was told on Friday, I've got a week left :(

Cat1864 · May 24, 2010, 05:42 AM

Here's a question for you: Do you want to look for a job in a new area where you can start over with a clean slate?

talaniman · May 24, 2010, 06:57 AM

I don't like change really,it's a risk

When things do change that are beyond your control, you must make adjustments and take a risk, because nothing is guaranteed.

Cat1864 · May 24, 2010, 06:59 AM

Please review the rules for using the comments feature:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html

Disagreements are for factually incorrect information or extremely dangerous advice.

luvybugy1988 · May 24, 2010, 07:31 AM

Sorry Cat I'm a new user, I am taking your advice, I want to help myself but I'm just finding it really difficult, I don't really get on with my mom and she has never given me any confidence so when I meet a guy I love the attention they show mw it makes me feel loved and special, and I like feeling that way, my friends are getting a bit fed up with the same old story now and sometimes I fee like I can't talk aboout it because I don't want to get on anybodys nerves.

But I suppose that all it really comes down to is that if he wanted to be with me then he would, I can't chage is mind however much I'm trying to but I just finding it really hard at the moment to believe that, because deep down inside I don't believe it. And I am trying my hardest to change his mind.

dontknownuthin · May 24, 2010, 07:56 AM

I'm concerned about your reluctance to accept change due to risk. You don't need to change for the sake of change but in my experience, I've found that people who don't change get left behind in every area of life. Partners outgrow them, companies find them to be an obstacle to responding to the market, friends find they aren't paying attention to changed needs and have to seek new kind of friendship and support elsewhere.

Instead of clinging to what you know as what you must have, be in the practice of trying new thins. Some things don't work, some do. But if you stay in a relationship that is bad for you, you will deny yourself any chance at one that is good for you. If you stay in work that's inadequate because you're afraid of giving up what you do have, well, you'll never have something that's enough.

talaniman · May 24, 2010, 08:09 AM

Adjust your thinking, and that will change your actions. You may even grow stronger for it.

Cat1864 · May 24, 2010, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by luvybugy1988

sorry Cat i'm a new user,

It's okay. I understand. You know now and that is what matters.

Do you know the phrase/song title: Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places? It takes a while to understand the only really good place to look for love is inside yourself. It doesn't mean that you are so caught up in yourself that you don't want or need another person. It means that you have a strength in yourself to share with someone else.

When we look for love and acceptance in others, we tend to take without really giving anything back. However, if we have love and acceptance in ourselves then what we give back has our own strengths added to it. What starts as a candle flame turns into a spotlight.

What do you do that makes you feel good about yourself? Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it. It is what you think and feel that counts.

I know change is scary and you are being hit with a lot all at once. That is why I was asking about starting over in a new area. Taking charge of the direction the changes are going.

Tell me, if you could have your dream job right now, what would it be?

luvybugy1988 · May 24, 2010, 08:23 AM

Well to be honest I have't really got anything that I would like to but when I sing everything goes away, I like singing and when I am on my own singing I feel great, I can't do it whilst other people are around as I do not have the confidence.
But I don't know how to gain it, I have never really had it and I rely on people and friends all the time, hence I am never in.
Do you think that if I started to meet someone else this would not help me, because iots me that's the problem, its me that can't accept it and its me that's in the wrong!
All my ex has done really is break up with me.

talaniman · May 24, 2010, 08:32 AM

Sorry your so sad that you can't think of ways to make you happy about being single. Its hard, but eventually you will start being tired of being sad and you will build a life that you enjoy, and your happiness will attract others to you.

Take a friend to a karaoke bar. You have to sound better than I do.