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    silvaslave's Avatar
    silvaslave Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 11, 2010, 03:18 PM
    Girlfriend says I broke her trust and wants to breakup but isn't too sure about it
    Well, I went to go visit a college with my mom and I texted my girlfriend saying I'm going there to visit and check the place out. On the way my mom told me that I had been accepted which I had no idea about. I decided to text my girlfriend and tell her the news, but she didn't seem too excited about it. Well I decided not worry about it too much because she had recently gotten in an argument with someone, and she was kind of hurt so I thought that was the issue. I explored the college and I was texting her along the way saying "this is awesome!", "I think I want a dorm!", she was replying unenthusiastically. I stopped getting service after a while and I didn't know why. (This college is about 30-40 minutes away from my home btw). A while back me and my girlfriend had this discussion about me going to it if I got accepted. I said I might drive back and forth everyday but I don't know I might live in a dorm. She told me okay that was fine and that we would stay together even though. Back to the story I didn't have phone service for about 2 hrs so I couldn't really tell her I decided to stay in a dorm, so when I finally did I resent the text and she said that I lied to her and that I broke her trust. That we would be fine and nothing would happen to us. I didn't understand why she was coming to this conclusion I told her that I could visit on the weekends, and she said "so I have to wait for you? and when you have time?".(because she doesn't drive) I told her that I wouldn't be able to afford an apartment or be able to drive everyday back and forth because of the money it takes. Not only that but it takes away part of the college experience. So I said it would be best if I stayed in a dorm that way I don't have to have the stress of paying for all those expenses. If I get a job then I could just spend it on gas and leisurely things or things for her or me. Later on she said she wanted to break up and I was shocked I don't understand why. Today she says that she doesn't know what she wants, I really love this girl but I'm at a loss for what to do also.
    Eileen G's Avatar
    Eileen G Posts: 1,571, Reputation: 286
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    #2

    Apr 11, 2010, 03:38 PM

    Imagine this conversation was between you and your best (male) friend. Would the points raised be reasonable or even make sense? If not, the same logic should apply to a girlfriend.

    This doesn't sound like a trust issue, it sounds like common sense. And the common sense thing to do is whatever will improve your chances of getting the most out of your education. Anyone who does not want that for you does not have your best interests at heart.

    Yes, it could make a relationship a bit harder, but with mobile phones, text and e-mail, it's possible to stay in touch every day, which is probably more than you are doing right now.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Apr 12, 2010, 02:00 PM

    She is just afraid of the coming changes, and is not sure she likes you being away from her, and is feeling left behind. Give it a few days, and reassure her, but be aware that this change, will need some great adjustments, and added stress, to the relationship.

    Its called growing up, so how old is she??

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