[talaniman]

If you want to be her emotional tampon that's up to you. Enjoy it for what it is, and when she doesn't want it anymore, she will let you know.

[amicon]

She gets all the benefits without the commitment,and she's got you on a leash.
Is that really where you want to be?

Find some selfrespect and go no contact.

[vanheart]

Any & all contact with her will keep hurting you.

At some point you're going to slap yourself. Hopefully now, at this moment.

How many brick walls do want to drive into before you realize its done?

We've been there. Stop. Go NC. Show yourself who's in control of your life.

Being friends with her is stupid.

[weekaizer]

I understand what you guys are saying, its just I feel that if I go totally no contact, she will think I'm ignoring her and that she may get tempted into seeing someone else who is only looking for something not serious as this is what she wants of me right now for a few months until she gets her life back on track.. she assures me she hasn't been with anyone else nor is she interested in anyone else, she just doesn't want to be tied down in a relationship but would like to meet up occasionally with me when time suits both of us... (I know it seems like she is having her cake and eating it)... its just I still love her sooooo much but it hurts me that I can't be with her more often.
We have kissed and "fooled around" since our break-up and our emotions are amazing before during and after... she is just so confused in her life right now and she always says I'm there for her always and its why she loves me so I just don't have it in me to ignore her texts when she says she feels sad about things...
Maybe I should just tell her that all this hurts me too much and that I have to move on if I'm ever going to get over her... I'm so confused

[amicon]

You're confused because you are letting yourself be manipulated by a person who has got you exactly where she wants you.

She's got the friend with the occasional benefit,you do her bidding and when she finds somebody else,she'll drop you like a hot potato.

You may understand what we're saying here,but do you listen?

Do you think we make sense?

Or are you going to go keep going around in circles for another couple of months?

[gvn]

The biggest tragedy
And the biggest problem any one can face is the left in a big ? To assume.

Its applicable to both sex
The biggest torture anyone can do to the other in relation is to let him/her be in a situation where no confirmation where the relation exist or already finished.

The pain being left in a ? About relation is the worst I can confirm

The pain to be left and break apart is nothing compared to the pain to be left in waiting...

Talk to her. And convey your message and tell her. And hope she get convinced it is the most curel, sadistic way to mentally harm any one to be left guessing and left waiting with no result ahead or?

I would rather suggest you to make up your mind. Be strong and forget her.

Its hurts when relations break... but see the positive side. Such situations in life teach you how to be more stronger and teach you who is really the one belong to you and care for you. Those who really care and love you can't leave your side whatever go wrong.

Its not about who you love, the happy life is with who love you.

All the best brother. Over come the relation and get set go...
Some one there out in world who is perfect for you and understand you better

[Adapa]

As what GVN was saying. It is important to note that when someone loves you they can not be without you. They will strive to be by your side no matter what happens. Now, you are prob. Thinking that you are trying to stay by her side no matter what to prove your love. You are. I know you are. We all know you are trying to be by her side no matter what.

But you have to understand that it takes two people to want to be together. If she is not trying to stand by your side, and you are trying to stay by her side what is the point? Its like you're a little dog humping her leg as she is trying to walk away.

I know its hard. Trust me. I use to be that little dog trying to dry hump that leg, and I would follow that leg. But over time the dog will learn that its not fun to be drug around the floor, get injured, or be kicked off their leg like a maniac!

You have come to a cross road. There are over 6 billion people in this world. Do you think that this person is the best person to be with? She is 1/6,000,000,000 people? I know that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes in relationships. We all act crazy and all do immature things like breaking up for no reason, and then try and get back together when our hearts are broken.

You have to understand that breaking up with someone, and going through your pain is GOOD. Heal yourself. Learn things about yourself. Change your behaviors and really understand why you do childish things sometimes. This will help your future relationships. When we grow up and act mature we want to be in a relationship with another person who has had a broken heart, who has grown from it, and who now knows how to respect someone.

But understand that we sometimes do childish things when we are upset with someone for doing something immature. We break up with the person, scream, yell, and fight--not all the time because we immature. But because that is our reaction. These reactions that people make us feel are GOOD. This shows us that something in the relationship is NOT working. No one should have to lash out, yell, scream, get in fights, and break up with someone--if the person was not making us do so.

So, when you heal from this, and grow as a person... you can QUICKLY have red flags with less immature people in your relations and QUICKLY end them instead of dragging it on for a couple years.

Keep your chin up... we all go through this.

[weekaizer]

I have finally decided to accept that the relationship is indeed over... I am still hopeful that somewhere down the line we will be together some time though as she just does not seem to want ANY relationships now... I really want to stay with her as a friend because she is my no.1 friend and I can't imagine my life without her...

[CarrotTalker]

i can't imagine my life without her ...

You really need to get to the point where you can imagine your life without her. Otherwise she will continue to have a power and control over you that can be used to hurt again.

[vanheart]

That's a bad idea.
Because you still have romantic feelings for her.

It will only cause you pain.

How's it going to feel with you being her pal as she dates other guys?

[talaniman]

You think you need more friends besides one that dumped you?? Now would be a good time to think about that.

[vanheart]

Yup, there's lots of baskets out there to put our eggs in.

Instead of sitting on just one.

Buck, buck, buck...

[weekaizer]

She still has romantic feelings for me too I'm sure of it.. at least for the moment she does and she's probably still my best friend.. either way it will hurt when I hear she is with someone else don't think it matters if I'm still friends with her when I do hear that...

[Newguy2009]

she still has romantic feelings for me too im sure of it..

Not true. She wants to be your friend. And you allow yourself to be available whenever she wants you. I understand your pain but you need to move on as what relationship will ever work when one person bails or needs time alone to think. What happens next time when she gets stressed out? She will do the same thing and hit the road leaving you broken yet again.

[vanheart]

Yeah don't hang around. Waiting for her. Being her pal. Or her puppy dog.

There's other people out there.

You want her, but she doesn't want you, remember?

[weekaizer]

I agree with that.. I just text her to make sure she was OK as I heard a friend of hers had died so I sympathised and left it at that and that's the way I'm going to leave it... can't help but still miss her but I've been in similar situation before so hopefully ill get over her..

[Adapa]

she still has romantic feelings for me too im sure of it.. at least for the moment she does and shes probably still my best friend.. either way it will hurt when i hear she is with someone else dont think it matters if im still friends with her when i do hear that...

YOU have it ALL backwards. We are suppose to put in the NO-CONTACT into play to help us HEAL. And trust me. Its almost been 3 months for me with NO CONTACT. And I am doing REALLY GOOD. We are suppose to go no-contact to HEAL our wounds, to think about things standing away from the situation. And I can tell you one thing... when the time comes that you hear she has a boyfriend... and you have gone no contact the entire time... you won't care. Because you will be completely over it, or have moved on with someone else. And even then, having no contact means... you don't have to know if she does have someone else. And what's that to stop her from thinking you have someone else too? Think about that.

[vanheart]

Stop texting her.

[amicon]

If you want to get over her,you stop talking to her-as in NO communication whatsoever.

[vanheart]

He doesn't want to get over her. Yet.