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    laurentiu13's Avatar
    laurentiu13 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 11, 2010, 04:44 PM
    We broke up, but I didn't get over..
    I broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago, and I suffered a lot. I took a week to recover, but she came to me and asked me to see each other, and since then we go out. I thought I got over, but today I realized I didn't.

    Firstly, I have to tell you I loved her really much, and I still love her, I would do anything for her, I'm purely crazy about her. I thought I got over, because I felt no more pain, but I didn't realize that it is because we are still going out, and having a better time (she also agreed) than when we were together. She often tells me that she misses me, and if we don't see each other for a day (we are in the same school) she calls or texts asking me how I am. She also hugs me a lot, and sometimes kisses me on the cheek. Well, that should be good signs right? That's what I thought, but wrong!

    Today, I asked her to come over tomorrow to watch a movie, and she told me she has a date. Ouch! That hurt so much, and all the pain came back as if it never left me in the day we broke up. We talked about that, and told her the truth, that I still love her very much, and she confessed that she misses me even when she doesn't see me in a single break, but it's just like friends, nothing more.

    I'm confused, I want to get over, because I can't bare this pain anymore, but I also don't want to loose my love for her, and I am so depressed, she got over, dating somebody, I'm not in her heart anymore, and it seems like there is nothing more to do.

    I would like her back, I can't stand the idea of somebody else maybe taking advantage of her, profiting, and not giving her what she truly deserves, and I also find it hard (once again) that she doesn't love me anymore.

    Do you think that I've got any chance, it's the first time she goes out with him, do you think it may not be too late? She said she gave him a try, because he insisted to go out, and it might get serious. I hope it won't! Can anybody explain what's happening in her mind? Is it really only friends and nothing more, or not? I think a woman can explain the best. This kind o behavior is odd to me. If there might be something to do, give some advice please, I don't know what to do anymore...

    PS: I have to mention that the reason we broke up was that (that's what she said) she can't give anymore and that I am always with her, and we don't do anymore anything interesting. Well, spending a lot of time means that you sometimes have lack of ideas, and do a thing again, like going in the same pub again, as one week ago.
    AmericanGirl01's Avatar
    AmericanGirl01 Posts: 145, Reputation: 83
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Mar 11, 2010, 05:08 PM

    She's trying to have her cake and eat it too. She doesn't want you to move on before she does. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either which is why she contacted after only a week. This is actually very common after a breakup and as you're finding out, its very confusing and hurtful. She's enjoying the idea of being able to have your company whenever she wants without actually having the responsibilities of a relationship

    This confusion and hurt can drag on for a long time, you really need to draw a line to protect yourself from any further hurt. The fact that she is going on a date with another guy shows you that she no longer wants to be with you. Perhaps she is just rebounding, who knows, it's none of your concern. You need to distance yourself from her and find someone that wants to be with you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Mar 11, 2010, 05:43 PM

    Let her go guy so you can heal and not just be an option for when she has time between other interesting things she is doing.

    Sorry, but you will never recover, or move on, unless you leave her alone, and disappear from her life, and do your thing without her.
    Larken85's Avatar
    Larken85 Posts: 696, Reputation: 146
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Mar 11, 2010, 07:41 PM

    I suggest a no contact ban. If she calls or texts ignore it. She will be mad, she will rebel, but it'll be over sooner than you think. And I know you still love her but she doesn't love you anymore. And even if she still has feelings for you she wants to see other people and you don't need that. You won't convince her to come back no matter how much you beg. I'm sorry man, I really am. But once a girl starts seeing other people its pretty much always over. Also I hate to say this but most girls don't go out with guys just because they keep asking them, its usually an excuse to help you cope with it. She wanted to go out with him and she will probably keep seeing him. Move on and heal my man, forget about her and go no contact. She can't keep you a prisoner but she is going to try.

    A tip for the future, don't spend so much time together that you make each other bored. When a person is bored in a relationship it is well, boring and gets old very fast. Doesn't take much at that point to leave the old in the past.

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