[alcatron]

Ok this is the story, which I'm still trying to get my head around it.

Around December last year I met this girl on Facebook, she lived in the same country as me (australia), just in a different city. We ended up talking every night, and got to know each other more and more, and we had everything in common, and we both felt we really clicked. So at the end of dec, I booked a flight to visit her, and when I was there everything went extremely well and we did lots of things together for 3-4 days.

When I came back to my town, we ended up talking everynight/skyping etc being in constant contact, and I told her id be making another visit to her city in February. She was really amazed and couldn't wait and we really built a strong tie together, and decided to enter into a relationship (more of a long distance).

Then when February came I noticed she started acting a little weird, little distant, but still remained the same her. Originally we organised 4 days for her to take off, when I come, and she said she'd take 2 days sick leave and combine it with the weekend. All of a sudden she said she couldn't take sick leave on the weekdays.. but decided to come in the evening after work, so I thought OK..

So then when I arrived there in Feb we went out on the saturday/sunday everything was perfect, even got a bear for valentines day which says "I love you" and chocolates and a card, and everything was really sweet. Now when Monday came she sent a message from work saying she can't make it to see me after it, cause of too much traffic etc and I was like right.. and she made the same excuse for Tuesday. She just ended up saying "No luck on our side this time"

So basically I didn't even get a proper goodbye etc as I was about to leave her city. No sms, contact or anything from her and I was just thinking to myself... where as the first time I visited we kept in contact every step of the way.

I came back home on the Wednesday, signed into to msn at night, and she wouldn't even say 1 word to me when she was on there for like the whole hour I was on... which I thought was really weird because I wanted her to initiate the contact.

So then I went offline on msn, and they I noticed she deletes this picture on Facebook of us that we had in common on her profile...

So then I change my status to "Single" and break the relationship status, to see her reaction and guess what... she does exactly the same thing lol

The next day I upload pictures to FB that we took together, but without her in it, and then... she deletes me completely from Facebook. Still not 1 word of communication from her...

A whole week goes by, and then I decide to initiate communication on msn, and tell her how I really feel and what's going on. I try to call her at the same time, which she doesn't pickup, and says on msn "Lets do it like this, it lets me think more"
So then she ends up blaming me for not contacting her, and keeping in touch etc etc and then I say what's going on can we resolve this, what's actually up.
Then she brings up that an EX has gotten hold of her number and he has been bomblasting her with calls/msgs and also she has been a lot of pressure from work etc. So then I say what do we do now, can we get passed this... why have you been acting like this etc, you're so disrespectful.. She said "when u changed urself to single i accepted that as the end" and she said it without any emotional feeling just like that..
Then she says "I wasnt ready for another relationship, I was pushing myself when I really shouldnt have, how about we stay friends for now Im sorry you had to find out now"

And that was the conversation, and she had to go... I didn't see her on MSN for a while now, she still has me in her list but prob blocked.

And then a few days ago I went through her friends list on FB and I saw this picture of her and her ex, and her commenting how much she loves him etc. So then I immediately thought she's back with her EX omg! And the thing is this EX isn't even in the same country, they met 8-12 months ago in another country in Europe and he's all the way over there (another long distance relation) and they broke up...

She always kept saying I want someone local rather than overseas (we are from a ethnic backround and choose our nationality etc)and then she does a whole 360 degree turn... And ever since this has happened I have received no contact from her at all for the last 2 weeks...

The thing is she's not even going to be going back to Europe anytime soon she said, cause its so far and maintain any time of relation.

SO now I'm left wondering HOW the hell can a person just change like that after all the fun times, and everything together we had in common, and some EX rings and bombards her and then its all OVER.

Any recommendations on what to do? Im thinking its best to IGNORE.. and not initiate any communication, like obviously she has no heart, still can't believe she did this... I still have feelings for her, just can't believe she prefers someone who she hasn't seen for ages and won't for a while yet

[AmericanGirl01]

You're absolutely correct, you need to completely ignore her. I know you must a lot of questions going through you mind right now, but reality is, you'll have to accept the fact that you'll probably never get any answers.

She's obviously not over her ex, and perhaps you were just a rebound thing and now that he's back in picture she's done with you. Not worth it. Sorry it had to end this way for you!

[alcatron]

Yeah I know and the funny thing she said was during that same convo:

"You are still dear to me, everything would be different if I wasnt going through all of this"

So yeah ignore I think is the best solution..

[bswc]

Think from a clearer persepective, she has been telling things that are against her actions. She doesn't know what she REALLY wants.

Now you should move on. You're a nice guy, she messed you up as a rebound. Let this young girl grow and you move on. There are mature woman out there that deserve your love.

[alcatron]

Yeah true, I wonder after a while if she will realise what she did was completely wrong.

[talaniman]

To hell with these long distance, online, relationships.

Get one that you can actually see the person, and hold hands with and talk face to face.

[amicon]

Ignore her,no contact,no friendship and next time date someone who isn't online and LDR.

[91s10blazer]

Sounds like you were a side guy

[alcatron]

Well its been interesting since the last post, I got some more information. Got a message..

"Im really sorry about everything, I never wanted to hurt you but I can't be in a relationship at the moment. My ex's family got involved begging me to give him another chance so ive been dealing with that as well. I hope you understand but we can always talk online sometimes. Hope all is well at your end"

So that guy must have screwed up previously in something, and she's taking him back. Jeez I wonder how long that's going to last lol. What a confused girl.

[amicon]

Well,there you go.
Better luck next time-there is always a next time.

[alcatron]

OK this gets even more weirder, she's dumped the EX theyr no longer together. I just wanted to message her on msn after 5 weeks of NC just to see what's up, out of curiosity I couldn't help it.

I question her about the stuff that happened between us, and she blames some weird things on me that I did, which I can't even remember. It was like I was talking to another person, I couldn't even recognize. She goes to say things like:

"I'm sorry for everything thats happened the last thing I wanted is for you to get hurt when we started talking.. I didn't know where it would take us but relationships break down.. it happens every day I don't want you to be sad about it we can stay friends.. it's fine by me.. but it just didn't work out as a relationship..and I don't plan on having a relationship with anybody... "

And then I was like riiiiight then she goes to say..

"we started off too well from the start.. and later.. I don't know.. it's like the relationship just lost it's spark.. little things were getting to me... with work and all... it was all too much"

"but the spark just disappears.. it happens all the time to anyone you're a really great guy but it just wasn't meant for us"

"but somewhere along the way.. that spark just disappeared.. i think you're still one of the coolest guys.. you're awesome"

Then goes on to say...

"well I think I just got sick of a relationship, it felt more like a chore towards the end..maybe I just into a relationship with you too quickly..we should have been friends for longer at first.. see how we get along first.."

THEN she starts saying

"you havn't been on in a while.. I thought we could continue chatting sometimes.. but I thought ok, maybe you don't want to have anything to do with me... I reckon it's better staying friends than not ever speaking again just leave out that messy relationship part that makes two people resent each other later"

And she admitted she has been spying on my Facebook profile and looking at what fan pages/groups I have been joining and telling me why joined that and this etc. She hasn't got me as a friend, but picking up all the things I have on public view.

Soo yeah, its really weird felt like she had absolutely no emotions attached, even though she keeps saying I'm really great. Why would she say she say we continue chatting sometimes, or constantly hitting my Facebook page? Does she feel guilty for what she has done but can't say it directly, and now going into the friends zone, then talking more?

I have a feeling she has absolutely no idea what the hell she wants.

[amicon]

Go back to NC-it doesn't matter what she wants.

Time to move on and get your life back.