[c23]

So I wanted to ask about abuse.. are there people who ignore the fact that once they were abused,and want to have a lot of sex? I know of a lot of people who were abused and never want to have sex again,but can it be the opposite way??

[J_9]

Yes, it can be opposite. People deal with things in different ways.

[c23]

Tnx a lot

[Alty]

Yes.

I was molested as a child, raped as a teen, I became very promiscuous, mainly because I felt that it was better to give it away then have it taken from you with force.

I didn't care about myself or my body, nor did I care about the guys I was with.

Therapy is always the best answer for sexual abuse cases. A good therapist will help you move forward, help you find balance, help you accept what happened and realize that you're worthy of love, worthy of having a healthy sex life, worthy as a human being.

That's my experience, but many times it can go the opposite way and the victim will avoid sex at all costs. It depends on the person.

[c23]

Actually it's been about 2 yrs, and I don't think about it a lot,but a friend of mine told me that I'm harming myself but going with guys,and it means that I'm still hurt about what happened.. I don't know..

[Alty]

actually it's been about 2 yrs, and i don't think about it a lot,but a friend of mine told me that I'm harming myself but going with guys,and it means that i'm still hurt about what happened.. i don't know..

So you're promiscuous? Is that what you're saying?

You say you don't think about it a lot, yet here you are asking a question about it. I would venture to guess that you think about it a lot more then you want to admit.

There's a difference between forgetting about it and pushing it out of your mind. No matter how hard you try to push it, it pushes back. Been there done that.

Have you considered therapy?

I was 5 when I was molested, 18 when I was raped. I didn't start therapy until a year or so ago, I'm now 39.

You have the opportunity to start therapy now, understand and accept what happened, move forward. You can't do it alone, trust me on that.

Your friends obviously see something you aren't ready or willing to accept.

Therapy. It's not a cure all end all, it's a start. The majority of your healing is up to you, but you do need a guide to help you get there.

[c23]

No not really,I've done it just once for fun,usually it's because I'm in a relation or so.I have confronted the guy who abused me and it didn't make me feel any better,until a few weeks ago when he tried to get close to me again and I said no and it was a definite no, and nothing happened.therapy scares me because I'm young and I don't want anyone of my family knowing what happened..

[Alty]

A therapist will never divulge why you're going to see him/her.

How old are you?

You really do need help dealing with this. More help then anyone on this site can provide.

Why are you afraid of telling your family? Is it shame? Fear that you won't be believed? They are your family and your best support system. I know it's not easy to tell them, but it is a step towards getting the help you need.

[c23]

I don't know,a lot of people know what happened to me but I don't want to tell my family,it's hard to do it.Im going to be 16 tmorrow

[Alty]

I don't know,a lot of people know what happened to me but i don't wanna tell my family,it's hard to do it.Im gonna be 16 tmorrow

It is hard, but it's also a huge step towards healing.

Do you have good parents? Are they supportive, loving? If so, this will change them, but they will help you get through it. That's what parents do.

Don't you want to get it off your chest? Don't you want someone in your corner, someone that truly loves you, someone that can get you help?

Therapy is not a death sentence. Therapy is really the best way to help you move forward.

Or you could do what I did. You could sleep with every guy that comes along, hating yourself more and more every time you do. You could push people away, never let them get close because you're afraid they'll hurt you. You could close yourself off to everyone, never completely knowing why.

Or.

You could get therapy, learn to deal with your past, learn to handle the future, learn to love who you are despite what happened to you, learn to trust people, learn to trust yourself. Learn to live.

The choice is yours. Personally I'd go for the second one. I already lived the first choice and trust me, it wasn't fun.

[c23]

Hmm good thinking,tnx I'll give it a thought :)

[Alty]

hmm good thinking,tnx i'll give it a thought :)

I hope you do.

We're all here to support you but when it comes to getting the help you need to get over this, there's not much we can do.

We can advise, we can support, but it's up to you to take the next step.

I really hope it all works out for you and that you give therapy a shot. :)