[Klaipeda]

Hi,
I was ridiculed and advised by other members of AMHD get a counseling for my open questions!
I have had nothing to hide from members of this group who are clever and genuine and decent, who don't pretend being clever but are human.I need a different kind of 'counsellin'- a counselling from members of this site who are down to earth and can see other person's point of view!:cool:
Some problems can be solved alone, some need others point of view. This time I need your help again!

Unlike those who are afraid to ask something from the members of this site but only advising others 'how to behave' as if no problems arise in their life. Providing some counseling myself ( and was trained to do that)I saw that these group members- especially from some experts (I don't want to name them here, they know who they are) are in great need for counseling... The reason is this- they cannot bare the truth to be told to them about them! (now I am probably will be prohibited to enter this site for good as being 'insulting' to those specific people. The reason is - their insecurity!).

My question is ( and maybe the last one:rolleyes:) -

I have two narcissistic personality sisters. They also are blamers and complainers.They accuse me all the time for past mistakes. Accusation are in a shouting way, shouting is so loud that the neighbours can hear everything. The don't want to simply talk and solve the arisen question with me,- they accuse me of not doing something of what they even did not ask me. If something is wrong they try to 'get' me to be responsible for it. And everything is in shouting, insulting. They stole money- 10000 in my currency (which is around the same sum in pounds) from my ( and their) stepfather. My mom and him saved money, she was putting them in the book, after my mom got ill, and my sisters came to visit her, the money disapeard for the flat.. My stepfather was asking them to return money to him. After about six months and constant shouting at him ( he was 82), my sisters eventually returned the 3000.. He died three weeks ago and I don't know why but I blame them as he was depressed and constantly talking about how bad they were... I felt sory and sad that he passed away but it felt like he did not want to live anymore for there was no joy for him because of my sisters constant nasty behavior..
They are dishonest, angry, negative but to others they are very nice.So nobody can even imagine that they can be the way they are with me and were with my stepfather.Only when my stepfaher told my moms friends about them some frineds were shocked about their behavior.. Sisters hide their true self extremely well, they are kind and polite. When I was growing up, I was told not to tell anyone about them as everyone would think it's my fault. They still and always try to insult me! And talk to me in a way as if I am a slave. I used to keep quiet but now as we live separately it becomes ridiculous everything to me and makes me feel really really bad.We have to meet form time to time and sty in moms flat which is empty now as she is in hospital and stepfather passed away.so there's plenty opportunities for them to get nasty- they took off the land line phone in case I would like to call... They took the TV from my room for me not to watch it.. It was ridiculous!( I arrived to visit my mom as she is in hospital in deep coma when she knew that my stepfather died but couldn't stay longer than one week. I left for UK again as I just was going mental- depression started to settle in and inferiority complex and all that terrible feelings). What shall I do as in the future we will be meeting more often.How should I behave?
Thank you kindly

[Gemini54]

The thing with narcissists is, you can NEVER win and nothing you ever do is good enough.

My advice:

Have as little contact with them as humanely possible.
Be clear in your communications with them and keep records of anything important that is discussed.
Set boundaries about what you will put up with.
Don't get involved in any of their toxic stuff.
Don't take any of it personally.

The best thing to do is to view their behavior as a strange, dysfunctional play - when they start 'acting up' - just say to yourself, 'uh, oh, here they go again'.

The worse thing you can do is get involved in the drama.

[rubyGM]

They need a psychologist! Seriously. Narcissistis personality is a deviant behavior which honestly can never be cued but only reduced just like every other personality disorder.

But it will only work unless they seek treatment. But honestly I advise you to stay away from them emotionally because they seem to jump you anytime you're open like a preditor would. Just keep them away from your mother and any access to money. Try law reinforcement.

And yes you should be able to vent out your problems because it gives people you give advise believe in your own advise. I could never take someone serious who has a perfect life; its like "your so perfect what would you know?". :)

[Klaipeda]

RubyGM, Thanks very much for you reply it took a tone off my chest!

[JudyKayTee]

A review of your past history on AMHD adds some depth to this question - starting here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/workpl...ml#post2106235