[natalie25]

Ive been single now for a little over 2 months. But there's this guy who I guess likes me.. and wants to hang out. But I'm still in love with my ex I'm not over him. Should I still hang out with this new guy? Will it help me get over my ex? I don't know what to do!!

[azif]

There's nothing wrong with hanging out, just don't rush into anything until you are ready

[amicon]

If you're not over your ex you're not ready for a new relationship. Rebounding's not a good idea and it isn't fair on the other person.
Heal first,then you'll be ready to start dating again.

[talaniman]

You can hang with anyone you want, but don't think jumping from guy to guy will help you get over the ex, healing and having fun will, forming another attachment won't.

Rebounds are unfair to other people, and using others for your own reasons, is a bit selfish. That can't be good, and how would you feel being used to feel better, by someone who had just gone through what you did?

[natalie25]

Ok I seriously need help!! I've realized how bad my ex treated my so I'm finally starting to get over him, its been 3 months now. And the last 3 weeks I've been talking to this guy. He seems to really like me. I like him to, he's like no guy I've ever met before. But he's SOOOO nice. Like I'm not used to guys this nice. Im used to the more aggressive and sarcastic guys. I like him a lot though, I think I'm just confused. I already told him I'm not ready to go fast or date so he knows... but is it possible I'm not having strong feelings because I'm not used to this kind of guy? And I don't want to let him go because he truly is a one of a kind. Someone please help!! Im so sooo so damn confused!!

[88sunflower]

If you already told him your not ready to go fast or date then just hang and be his friend. This way your both getting to know each other and seeing where you stand for a future relationship. Just be friends. There is nothing wrong with that. Let it grow from that understanding first.

[Cat1864]

Ok i seriously need help!!! I've realized how bad my ex treated my so im finally starting to get over him, its been 3 months now. And the last 3 weeks ive been talking to this guy. He seems to really like me. I like him to, he's like no guy ive ever met before. But hes SOOOO nice. Like im not used to guys this nice. Im used to the more aggressive and sarcastic guys. I like him alot tho, i think im just confused. I already told him im not ready to go fast or date so he knows... but is it possible im not having strong feelings because im not used to this kind of guy? And i dont wanna let him go because he truely is a one of a kind. Someone please help!!! Im so sooo soo damn confused!!!

You been broken up for three months. You are still getting over your ex. You still aren't 'over him'. I think you are getting there.

This sounds like a nice guy. However, it has only been three weeks. Give yourself time to let new feelings emerge. Just be careful that you aren't using this guy to get over the ex. You don't want to turn this into a rebound relationship. Both of you deserve better than that.

Don't worry about 'strong' feelings right now. If you did feel them or profess to feeling them, then I would worry about this being a rebound and that you were going to fast.

I am glad that you recognize the need to go slow and get to know each other as friends.

[emopunk7]

You have done an excellent job of taking everybody's advice! You are moving on so well! Congrats! There is a time after a break up where you think someone is great but it just doesn't hit you too well. This may be one of them. You must keep dating. I went through the same. I was dating this girl and she is a lot of fun and all but something is missing. You can't force it. Just have fun and go with the flow. You don't have to like this guy. He is most likely going to stay in your "friend zone". But it's nice to have a good friend. Keep meeting people. But just to keep your eyes and heart open, listen to this:
You said your ex was something very special and you wonder if you can find someone again. Now you met someone that is one of a kind. See how you moved on? Sometimes our mind is limited in seeing the possibilities of life and circumstances that await. So I'm sure soon you will meet the greatest person ever! Hang in there and be happy! You are being so strong and doing a great job.You should be proud of yourself. I sure am!!

[natalie25]

AWWW thank you emopunk! That was really sweet and I really appreciate it!! And your right there is something missing. I think it's that special feeling... Maybe it will come the more I get to know him?? It sucks because he is an amazing person. I guess I just need to take it slow! Although, everything else is there but that damn feeling I had with my ex!! But your right I am moving on and I am proud of myself. I just hope I get that feeling with this guy. He's just so nice and sweet, its kind of like a turn off! Which is weird! Its just something I'm not used too! Lol grr I hate this hahaha

[natalie25]

OKay, so the guy I was kind of dating wasn't working. He just wasn't really my type. But I met a guy on new years who I am really interested in. I am finally over my ex so I know I'm ready. We went on a date about a week ago. He picked me up and was saw a movie. We didn't have much to do, so we talked for like two hours. It was really good conversation and I think I like him. So my question is its been four days since the date. And before the date we never really talked much just texted once in awhile. Well its been four days and I haven't heard from him. I know that's normal but I'm wondering how long could it be until he calls me? I should wait for him right? I thought he was interested but I guess you never know. Maybe he'll call this weekend haha? Any suggestionsssss??

[amicon]

Just continue with your life and see how it goes-dont put your life on hold waiting for him to get in touch.

[Starry nights]

I was doing the same thing you are doing Natalie,post my break-up.Which is,I used to go on dates,meet new people and feel I was ready for the next step,i.e getting serious.So the moment I even remotely started liking someone,I started thinking "maybe this is the real thing" without actually taking it nice and easy.

The problem with human psyche is,once we get hurt and then get over it,we sort of hold ourselves ransom to finding people and ways to make us happy.In that process,we keep putting pressure on ourselves and others to "perform" in certain ways and soon,the something we were enjoying gets way too deep and serious and out of hand.

There's an underlying sense of very subtle panic in your words about "what if this goes wrong again,what if I dont find the real thing by such and such date,age,time,what if he doesnt call etc etc"--you may not even realise there's this panic(I never did actually!)... the secret is in just letting loose,cutting out on ALL expectations from anyone you are seeing right now,breaking free of any negative emotion like insecurity,doubt and all that.

Just go out there with one motto : HAVING FUN.Complete and total fun.No holds barred kind of fun.The best things happen when you are way too busy having this kind of fun! All the best.

[I wish]

No need to rush into anything even though you say that you're over your last relationship. You haven't broken up for long, so it's still the rebound phase.

Just keep getting to know more people.

[natalie26]

Threads merged

To all who post here. Natalie 25 and Natalie 26 are the same person so know the threads have been merged, and edited.

Well here I am again guys. 5 months ago my ex broke up with me. I was devastated. He had a lot going on his life so he didn't think he would have the time to dedicate to me. I eventually got over it and started seeing other people. But between these 5 months we've been broken up I swear twice a month I get a drunk text or call. Saying I love, I miss you blah blah. So maybe drunk speaks the truth? Yet, he's so busy and I think he's scared he doesn't want to date till his degree is done. Which I guess I understand some people are like that. Just the other day I get a drunk ttext and call. I got really mad and told him to stop or man up and say it sober. And he did. He asked me to meet him the other day so I did... We talked for like an hour. He wanted to say sorry in person.. and be selfish and see me... He didn't say he wanted to be with me like I thought. But he kept saying he never said he didn't want to me with me.. He asked if we could be friends and see where it goes. We haven't been friends this whole 5 months so I decided to say yes. You never know what could happen right? We both kept saying how much we missed each other and how hard it was to see each other. It was so weird! Why doesn't he just want to be with me? It frustrates me. I told him I'm seeing someone else, which I am.. just to see if he would get jealous lol... Do people sometimes go back to friends and become relationship later on. has that ever happened to any of you guys? Taking it slow again? Like I want things to go back to where they were. But I don't want to get my hopes up... that's why I'm scared being friends that all my feelings will come back.. But I'm going to keep seeing this other guy and be friends with my ex. I mean he wanted to me, so doesn't that mean he still does care about me? I'm just so confused!!
Please help my confused head. :))

[sully123]

I would honestly move on from this ex boyfriend. I don't think he has anything to offer you, excepting for being drunk all the time. Do you really want to be in a relationship withsome like that? I would cut all contact off with him. Your dating someone else now and focus on him. You can't be friends with him, its too soon. I don't think your boyfriend your dating now would go for that.

[natalie26]

Well the guy I'm seeing now I barely see or talk to. He's busy just like my ex was. I'm like cursed! I know it will be hard being friends with my ex but I kind of would rather that not at all.. if that makes sense

[talaniman]

What's wrong with you trying to build something with a drunk who has no time for you. Now you want to be the drunks friend in hopes it leads to more, but your seeing a guy who also doesn't have time for you.

Get someone who does, and forget these busy guys. What's worse your so desperate and needy of a guy, you take anything you can get. That's not smart or healthy as you see what your getting? A busy drunk, and a guy who has other priorities other than you.

Looking for love in all the wrong places is a curse you have brought on yourself.

[Fr_Chuck]

Why have you started a new user name, no one has the slightest IDEA of what relationship you are talkinga about, these are not blogs,

You are not auppose to merely start new user names, your old one was the same except for 25, but now is 26.

I am one of the moderators and you will need to explain why you have started a new user name

[neverme]

Ok so you see that you are going in circles here? You get the same 'type' of boyfriend and yet you don't see that you may be a factor in the decision making process.

A relationship is a partnership, through good times and bad. If you aren't by his choice in his life, then don't allow yourself to get your hopes for something that most likely won't happen.

To quote Tal, never make someone a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you an option in theirs.

[amicon]

Both these guys are emotionally unavailable and you don't need either of them in your life.

Stay away from the boyfriend scene for some time and find out what its like to be a happy single.