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supermannnnnn · Nov 10, 2009, 01:12 PM

Go back to the beginning of this thread and read my post. Everything we said to help you has already been said.

supermannnnnn · Nov 10, 2009, 01:14 PM

It made you want to comfort her? WHY!?

Look who she was with... Her new man! Not you!

ITS OVER! Would you want her back anyway?? She's is probably at home right now with her new man cuddling and doing the nasty.

Sorry for saying that, but I said that to make you see reality.

Its over. Go workout right now. Call your friends up and do something else. She isn't worth it!

Ther4peuticH3at · Nov 12, 2009, 04:26 PM

Dude. Don't you want to happy to be single again? You probably can't wait until the day where you're excited to meet new women. You really got to let it go man. Remember who you are, who you were when you met the girl. I bet that guy wouldn't let this break up get to him like that. Imagine the kind of advise he'd give you.

Move on. It didn't work. It sure as hell isn't making you happy anymore so don't punish yourself, don't wallow in misery. The relationship is no good to you anymore, so let it go.

sadnlostedddd · Nov 12, 2009, 04:55 PM

Yeah man I'm moving on it was just a set back

How's everything going with your situation

Ther4peuticH3at · Nov 12, 2009, 09:48 PM

I'm aight... NC, and fine with it. Although, I still run hypothetical conversations in my head ALL the time; as in how I'd react to her in future encounters.. what I'd say, what I wouldn't say...

At some point, I remembered who I am, and how I lead my life. And I remembered how and why I always look forward. Let it go, move forward, and be better because of it; that's the only way to go.

These things helped:
Good advise from friends; people reminding of what's really important, and that they care. My godsister had a dream that I disappeared and was later found dead (suicide... and she had no idea what was actually going on w/ the past few weeks); her telling me that kind of woke me up a bit.

Also:
Get off this site and occupy your mind with something absolutely unrelated to this type of stuff whenever you can! This place is depressing and kind of pathetic. Don't linger here for long. Come back when you have a set back, or when you feel strong enough to help bring other people out the sh*t.

Ther4peuticH3at · Nov 14, 2009, 07:48 AM

So my stupid subconscious decided to give me a dream last night where we were together and REALLY happy again. And I wake up thinking about her and I can't figure out why she isn't begging to be back with me... I mean, I'm frakking awesome. LOL, my ego hates that people can get over me. A week ago this would have been a major set back.

sadnlostedddd · Nov 20, 2009, 09:14 AM

I've been in NC with my ex for about a week and a half and it's amazing how much better I feel now than I did when I started. After the first maybe 2 days of NC, I began to focus my energy elsewhere, and started to think less about my ex.
If you don't know my story, me and my ex broke up, and then she jumped into another relationship about 3 and a half weeks later. But anyway, I've been feeling GREAT, confidence is back up, getting ready to finish out the semester strong. Don't really think about my ex too much unless something or someone reminds me of her. But last night I had a dream and when I woke up I felt like crap. It was a dream about me hooking up with her while she was dating her new guy and her telling me how much better he was than me in every way, while I know this isn't true, just the thought of that makes me a little bit upset.
I know we can't really control our dreams, but is there anything I can do? I don't want this to ruin my weekend

talaniman · Nov 20, 2009, 09:20 AM

I tend to forget dreams when I wake up and have things to do, and look forward to.

I wish · Nov 20, 2009, 09:21 AM

I can relate. I've had countless dreams that felt like set-backs.

Notice my emphasis on countless. As I had more and more of these types of dreams, my recovery rate began to speed up. At first, the dream woud stick for a week. But as I had more of them, I recovered in less than a week. I'm down to 24-48 hours.

It's a very natural occurrence. Just remember that, regardless of how long it takes, you will recover from the dream.

It's not just the dream, in any recovery process you will have obstacles and setbacks. Dreams are just an example. You can't expect to have smooth salling the entire way. That wouldn't be any fun, would it?

I'm sure you will recover soon enough. Just keep focusing on moving forward!

amicon · Nov 20, 2009, 09:43 AM

Don't worry about your dream-you may have more of a similar kind along the road to complete recovery but don't dwell on your dreams -celebrate feeling better!

sadnlostedddd · Nov 26, 2009, 08:54 AM

Well, I've been in NC for a few weeks now, my ex starting dating someone else right after we broke up, and at first I was very upset but I've been getting a lot better. My question is, is it okay for me to have a rebound? Will it help me get over my ex. I know a girl that goes to my college and we are both very attracted to each other, but she's told me a hundred times she's not the type to commit... perfect! If I ended up getting with her, and telling her that I don't want a serious relationship with her and she agreed, would it be okay, and would it help me get over my ex? Or could it make me miss my ex more? I know they say that rebounds usually end in disaster, and people catch feelings very quickly blah blah blah, but in this situation I don't tihnk we would catch feelings like that, just a cute face a warm body to have next to me... Overall my question is, if you're upfront in the beginning about what your expectations are, can a rebound help you get over your ex?
Thanks

I wish · Nov 26, 2009, 08:58 AM

Entire story merged

Do what you need to do to get over your ex, but keep in mind that a rebound is unfair to the other person, especially when you're not on the same page.

sadnlostedddd · Nov 26, 2009, 09:00 AM

Thanks, I definitely understand that it's unfair which is why I want to be completely honest about what I want upfront, but like I said, will this really help me get over her, or can it have the reverse effect, because if it ends up making me want her back then I'l just keep doing what I'm doing.

amicon · Nov 26, 2009, 09:13 AM

I'd be very cautious,what people say may not turn out what they mean;even if this were to be a friends with benefits relationship,there's always the risk that one of you would start having strong feelings for the other one and that could end up messy.
Personally, I don't think using another person to get over an ex works. You get over the ex, then date to get to know others, and when you meet the right person you're ready to have a new relationship.

I wish · Nov 26, 2009, 09:22 AM

I understand that sometimes you need to find someone else to have feelings for to completely wash away your feelings for the previous one. But instead of jumping into a new relationship, just for the sake of being in a relationship, why don't you just get to know more people? You might find someone that you have romantic feelings for, but it doesn't mean you need to rush into a relationship with that person just to get over your ex.

If you find someone that you're interested in, just spend more time with them and get to know them. Just enjoy each other's company. You don't need a new relationship to get over the last one. You need TIME to recover.

talaniman · Nov 26, 2009, 10:00 AM

Why limit yourself to just one person to date, and have some fun with? Then you wouldn't have to worry about becoming attached so fast, or replacing one person for another, and the same problems arising.

I think once you get out of the title of a relationship, or having someone as yours, you'll have a lot more fun.

Talaniman Rule- Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall, 18-80, blind, cripple, or crazy.

As long as your honest with yourself, and those you deal with, you can do most anything you want. But if you cannot seperate, and accept, the reality of a break up, with interacting with others, and having good clean, adult fun, then your not ready for anything partner. Get a hobby.

boyslikegirls · Nov 30, 2009, 08:41 AM

Dude, I'm facing the same situation too. Broke up with my ex last recently after a huge fight (I was saying something mean to her.. well, she did the same to me too) and she has been sharing our private conversations such as emails, texts with her friends! Nightmare! And whenever she sees me in school, she will put on such an awful facial expression as if I have just murdered her dog! Worse, she slapped me in front of her folks and showed me no respect at all! Believe me, it was bad! And yet, I still wanted her back even after she told me that she doesn't want me and love me anymore. I begged, pleaded and did all that I could (you name it) to win her back. She threw the gifts I gave her at my face when my friends were around hanging outside the school - how humiliating!. Yet again, I still wanted her back because I really loved her. I tried and tried and even lost my pride just for this woman! She cuts me off completely - Facebook, myspace, messenger... you name it. Weeks passed by, I decided to drop her an email to wish her all the best in finding love and I will always be there for her... things got even worse than volcano eruptions! Again, she humiliated me in front of my friends as well as hers! I told myself, enough is enough. I asked myself 'Why would I want someone who doesn't even love or want me?'... My friends been telling me that she ain't worth it. I was blinded at first and now I see it. I went on to delete her contact right away from my mobile. Trust me, it does make you feel good! I'm moving on now and don't even want to look or talk to her when we bump into each other. I may be mean, she is mean too. But she is worse than that, full of resentment and to some certain extend, I think she is cruel. There are better girls out there who can treat you 10000x better than your ex. Move on. I can do it, I'm sure you can! Besides, I'm starting to see this girl in school. She is wayyyyyy much better than my ex!

Good luck :)

classychica52 · Nov 30, 2009, 09:39 AM

Move on!

krebecam · Nov 30, 2009, 12:54 PM

You should move on... why do you have to wait for her? I know it's hard.. I have been in a long relationship too.. we broke up yesterday (mutual too) and in the night he went out to dinner with another girl (so fast right). Well, those people (your ex and my ex) don't really know what they want... and people who don't know what they want don't DESERVE what they have.. I have gone back to him 3 times.. and during those breaks he have dated other girls and had a relationship.. yes he came back to me afterwards but only to realize it was always the same... like paxe said

It usually never works to go back with an ex, trust me. It's much easier to find someone else and start something new.

It's hard but you have to tell your heart to move on and kill all the hopes.. you are just hurting more by keeping all the hopes.. and please have NO CONTACT until you are ready to really be only friends... and don't worry time does really heals and when you least expect it you will find that special someone again who will correspond you and who is really worth it.

sadnlostedddd · Nov 30, 2009, 04:36 PM

I don't know what it is about today, but it's like I'm back at day one, I had a dream that me and my ex were back together and it made me feel like crap when I woke up. I guess it's just a set back, still in NC, I just feel bad knowing she's probably doing so well and I'm still struggling.