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Cat1864 · Nov 12, 2009, 11:23 AM

Enjoy your forum and ignore him.

It sounds like he is playing some kind of game that only he knows the rules of. Don't get drawn in. Let him continue to play Solitaire.

JustLaw · Nov 12, 2009, 11:47 AM

Weird is right.

JustLaw · Nov 23, 2009, 08:08 AM

Just an update and a question.

Update... he's lost his marbles.

After that birthday email he went onto a forum that we are both a part of and started a birthday thread for me there. He later in the day posted "the gang at the bar wanted to know of my bounty from my bday" and then how his buddy Dave was passed out on his couch and right before he passed out he asked "What did Janet get for her bday" and again told me how the gang at the bar REALLY wanted to know what I got, if I had cake and ice cream, if I got what I wished for and if there was something I was wishing for... and then asked... "what are you wishing for?"

I attribute it to being drunk.

Ok the question. I had a dream the other night that really didn't have much to do with him.. but left me wondering about something he had mentioned to me before. Tell me if this sits right with any of you?

He told me that he has never hit anyone. I can believe that... but... he went on to tell me that his mom thought that he had hit his ex-wife and in turn called his sister and asked her to call his ex and ask her if she had ever been hit.

This was after they had already split.

I don't get that. How does a mom think that of her son? I know he had been hit a few times by his dad whenhe was young, so maybe that's where it stems from... but...

Neither his mom nor his sister brought it to his attention. They never said anything to him at all. For a mom to think that of her son makes me wonder. For the sister to get that call and not call her brother and let him know what their mom is thinking and immediately call the ex to see if she was OK, makes me wonder as well.

The only way he knew about it is when the ex called him to let him know what was going on...

What does that suggest to you guys??

Cat1864 · Nov 23, 2009, 08:29 AM

His mother may have been trying to come to terms about why they got divorced and may have been watching too many talk shows about 'abused' boys growing up to be abusive men. It could also have been a reaction to medication or alcohol.

It may be his mother getting past and present a bit confused. Did his father hit her? If he did, then it could be that her mind decided to remember it as happening to someone else such as her ex-daughter-in-law.

Those are just a few ideas of what could have happened.

talaniman · Nov 23, 2009, 09:00 AM

Maybe it's a warning, about him and his family.

JustLaw · Nov 23, 2009, 09:46 AM

I don't believe his dad hit his mom, but could be wrong. It just always struck me odd. It would take something HUGE for me to believe my son, if I had one, could do something like that, but I would confront him... not the sister, and have her call the ex wife.

Just strange why they didn't go to him...

Now I am seeing things differently and maybe this was a red flag.

I think it says a lot.

vanheart · Nov 23, 2009, 05:24 PM

Be glad to be away from this madness.

The next thing is to stop wasting your precious time on dysfunctional people and reasons.

Its not worth it.

lilserenity · Nov 23, 2009, 05:36 PM

Think of the future

Cat1864 · Nov 23, 2009, 05:53 PM

lilserenity, a word of advice, please read an entire thread before responding. In many cases, this one included, there have been developments since the original question was asked that change the advice that is needed such as she has already told her sister.

lilserenity · Nov 23, 2009, 06:19 PM

Sorry its all been said.. I will delete what I posted..

JustLaw · Dec 4, 2009, 04:36 PM

Someone recently told me that I was being unfair to the ex by getting upset that he didn't call till 6 pm. And that by calling so late, he wasn't blowing me off...

I was being unfair.

vanheart · Dec 4, 2009, 04:45 PM

Don't worry about that stuff anymore. Its in the past.
Try to not let that occupy your time any longer.

JustLaw · Dec 4, 2009, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by amicon

Hi!
The guy s an idiot. And I m sorry you had to leave a site that you enjoyed.
As for the photographs fingers crossed nothing will happen.
Good of you to return his things I think I would have just given everything to a charity shop but thats me.
You know you will get over this-with time.
Just keep looking after yourself and yours-take care.

We ended up doing a little texting and he told me he still had the pictures but I could have them back. He told me he didn't reply to my requests before because he "luvs" them and he didn't want to lie to me (about saying he destroyed them) when he didn't and he is sentimental.

So... basically he just let me sit and feel bad instead of doing the right thing and destroying them when I asked... why? Because he's sentimental. Yah right.

JustLaw · Dec 4, 2009, 05:05 PM

Van

Ok.

vanheart · Dec 4, 2009, 05:11 PM

You can't fret about those. What's done is done.

Just have zero contact with him.
You will avoid any further manipulation.

amicon · Dec 5, 2009, 05:06 AM

And you'll avoid all confusion,time to go NC again and not have to worry about his thoughts and actions.