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NowinWisconsin · Oct 12, 2009, 11:32 AM

My son is 12 and wants to live with his father. I believe that he is finally of an age where an enhanced relationship with his father would be beneficial; However, I realize that if custody were to change, despite any court orders providing for visitation (telephone or otherwise) I would never hear from him again.
I have stipulated that the only way his father can have custody of my son is for the step-mother to adopt my son.
This has not been an easy decision, but I am so sick of fighting the courts for custody order enforcement, that I will not have it any other way.
The custody order was put in place in Virginia. I have legally moved to Wisconsin and the Virginia courts have transferred the case to WI though the case has not been officially opened in WI.
The father is a resident of Florida. Where would the adoption have to take place (state of residence or state of intended residence)?
If child support is based on the status of the legal relationship, then would I pay child support to the father?

stevetcg · Oct 12, 2009, 11:49 AM

So instead of fighting for your child, you want to just throw your hands up and give him up FOREVER?

Nice.

To answer your (morally questionable) question, the father would file for a change of custody in WI who currently has jurisdiction. Once that was completed and the child moved to FL, he could petition to have jurisdiction transferred to FL where his wife could then file for a stepparent adoption.

Once the adoption was complete, your child support obligations and all further legal relationship and contact would be terminated.

A custody case and step parent adoption are two separate events and cannot be combined. Custody is where your ex is the petitioner and step parent adoption his wife is.

cdad · Oct 12, 2009, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by NowinWisconsin

My son is 12 and wants to live with his father. I believe that he is finally of an age where an enhanced relationship with his father would be beneficial; However, I realize that if custody were to change, despite any court orders providing for visitation (telephone or otherwise) I would never hear from him again.
I have stipulated that the only way his father can have custody of my son is for the step-mother to adopt my son.
This has not been an easy decision, but I am so sick of fighting the courts for custody order enforcement, that I will not have it any other way.
The custody order was put in place in Virginia. I have legally moved to Wisconsin and the Virginia courts have transferred the case to WI though the case has not been officially opened in WI.
The father is a resident of Florida. Where would the adoption have to take place (state of residence or state of intended residence)?
If child support is based on the status of the legal relationship, then would I pay child support to the father?

What your asking to do is illegal. And no court in the land would allow it. Both you and your husband would go to prison. Maybe what you need to do is go through a mediation process and settle this thing out of court but have the courts approve the change in custody.

That would be best for everyone involved.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 12, 2009, 06:32 PM

OK, you can ask for anything you want, but if the sons father wants custody and the son wants it, the father merely files for custody, and they will most likely get it, and you will have to pay child support most likely to the father.

You can not force the step mom to adopt

The adoption can take place where the father lives. Esp if the child has lived with him for a number of months