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kcwill · Sep 24, 2009, 09:57 AM

My husband and I would like to begin the proceedings for a stepparent adoption. Our daugter is not four and he has been involved as her father since she was one. Her biological father has has no involvement with her and has not paid child support in three years. Last year, we went to court because of the child support and he paid a 1000 dollar purge bond to not go to jail for non payment. He then vanished off the face of the earth.

My husband and I were prepared to file the abodption paperwork and go throug the courts to try and locate her father and serve him with the paperwork because he could not be located. However, recently, the department of child support enforcement located him and set a court date for non payment. This time, the father will be jailed. He is now harassing my husband and myself about the adoption proceedings in the hope that if his parental rights are terminated and my husband adopts, he will not be jailed for the child support arrears.

I know that the adoption terminates the current support obligation and that he will still be responsible for any arrears that have accumulated to that point. But, we do not know how proceeding with the adoption will affect the upcoming hearing about non payment of child support. Is it in out best interest to wait until after this hearing to begin the adoption paperwork? In what ways will filing the paperwork affect the upcoming hearing? We do not want the hearing the be cancelled as we worked very hard and waited a long time to get it. Thank you in advance for all of your help.

excon · Sep 24, 2009, 10:19 AM

Hello k:

If he's thrown in jail at this hearing, it's going to be because of his delinquent child support. As you said, he's going to owe that no matter what you do, or don't do in terms of the adoption. But, I'd also begin adoption proceedings too. The procedures are mutually exclusive and have no relevance toward each other. If the deadbeat mentions the adoption, so what? It's NOT relevant to the past child support.

excon

stevetcg · Sep 24, 2009, 10:24 AM

Except it is relevant. The arrears and owed support can be used as a bargaining chip. He does not HAVE to allow the adoption. I would venture to guess that if he is thrown in jail for support he won't allow for the TPR.

The support can be made to go away (if owed to the OP, not the state) if they choose.

kcwill · Sep 24, 2009, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Except it is relevant. The arrears and owed support can be used as a bargaining chip. He does not HAVE to allow the adoption. I would venture to guess that if he is thrown in jail for support he wont allow for the TPR.

The support can be made to go away (if owed to the OP, not the state) if they choose.

The support is owed to myself and the state and my daughter is entitled to every penny of it that he has not paid. He doesn't have to allow the termination of parental rights. He is an unfit and criminal parent who has not seen her in two years. (and when he did it was literally for ten minutes) According to the research that we have done, the court will more than likely terminate his parental rights and grant the adoption.

We really just want to know if beginning the proceedings will have an affect on the upcoming hearing. We waited such a long time for it and went through hell and highwater to find him since DCSE didn't. We are the ones who located him and gave the information to DCSE. The adoption is in out child's best interest but she does deserve the support that he has not paid during the time leading up to it. We do not want to do anything to sabatoge the collection of the arrears that she is owed.

stevetcg · Sep 24, 2009, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by kcwill

The support is owed to myself and the state and my daughter is entitled to every penny of it that he has not paid. He doesn't have to allow the termination of parental rights. he is an unfit and criminal parent who has not seen her in two years. (and when he did it was literally for ten minutes) According to the reasearch that we have done, the court will more than likely terminate his parental rights and grant the adoption.

We really just want to know if beginning the proceedings will have an affect on the upcoming hearing. We waited such a long time for it and went through hell and highwater to find him since DCSE didn't. We are the ones who located him and gave the information to DCSE. The adoption is in out child's best interest but she does deserve the support that he has not paid during the time leading up to it. We do not want to do anything to sabatoge the collection of the arrears that she is owed.

Im sorry - but the research you have done is not accurate. If he is located and wants to fight the adoption, unless he is in jail for years, likely with a charge of child abuse or something similar, all he has to say is "Your Honor, I want to try to change my life around" and your motion will be dismissed.

Courts are VERY reluctant to terminate rights.

You are well within your right to insist that the arrears be paid in full. He is well within his rights to fight the adoption. And I'm sorry, if it comes to it, I would bet on him. Is it right? Not for me to decide. But that's the way it is.

kcwill · Sep 25, 2009, 04:57 AM

Well you are right in that he will probably try to fight the adoption out of spite. I don't think it will last very long though because he does not want to pay any child support or ave any more arrears accumulate. He will do what is in his own selfish interest... that is how we got into this situation in the first place. He has been jailed for physical abuse; I don't know how much of a difference that makes. But, I do think that his selfishness and self preservation will win out and he won't fight it. If he does, we are willing to stay with this as long as it takes. Either way, my daughter has an amazing father in my husband and a court order won't affect that in any way.

Thank you for all of your insightful answers. I am not sure how we should go forward at this point but we are committed to doing the best we can for out daughter.

mamma1 · Apr 4, 2012, 04:26 AM

Well, I know that it has been a few years, but I thought I would respond to this.. My two kids were adopted by my husband,the biological father chose to hide and do what he could to not pay support. We tried to find him for the adoption, did everything legal of course, and could not find him. AFTER the adoption, he came out of the woodwork. He owed over one hundred and ten thousand dollars in arears, and had, and is still paying what is owed from when he was a "parent" on the "run". The court had no problem terminating his rights, as he was not there as a "parent" in any way whatsoever. He is a disgrace to those non abusive men to actually do contribute to their children's needs, and are there for them through thick and thin.

kcwill, I hope all worked out in favor for your family, and wish you all the best.

JudyKayTee · Apr 4, 2012, 04:29 AM

This is no surprise - adoption does not change past-due support.

His rights were terminated because you couldn't find him. He was undoubtedly notified by publication. I am not aware of any State that will terminate rights for non-support or non-visitation if that parent does not consent.

Where was this?

(And the person who asked several years ago has never been back.)

mamma1 · Apr 4, 2012, 04:31 AM

He owed over one hundred and ten thousand dollars in arears, and had, and is still paying what is owed from when he was a "parent" on the "run".

Let me just say, he was NOT paying.. I made a mistake when I typed~~ it took him several years, that why it ended up in arrears. He actually never did pay anything until after the children were adopted, and the arrears got so large and he was afraid of jail.. for some reason they never put him in jail that I know of. I don't know if it was because he was out of state or because he let it drag on for soooooo long after he was found.