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natalie25 · Oct 5, 2009, 09:39 AM

Are some men really just too busy to date? Its hard to understand.

amicon · Oct 5, 2009, 10:32 AM

If they care enough for you they will find the time-its that simple.
Im sorry if that sounds harsh but he s making excuses.
Enjoy being single and date other guys!

PurpLePassion · Oct 5, 2009, 07:32 PM

I couldn't agree more.
Being the super busy person that I was, I found SO MUCH TIME to hang out with a guy I wanted to see. I still don't know where I found the time lol.

Originally Posted by amicon

If they care enough for you they will find the time-its that simple.
Im sorry if that sounds harsh but he s making excuses.
Enjoy being single and date other guys!

natalie25 · Oct 5, 2009, 10:46 PM

I'm starting to get better. But still in the back of my head, I think it isn't possible to meet another good guy like this. Because he treated me extremely well.. yah OK he didn't have a lot of time for me. But otherwise he was perfect. How do I get my mind to believe there is someone better out there? Has this happened to anyone??

ohsohappy · Oct 5, 2009, 10:54 PM

THis comes with time. I've felt like that before. I got over it, and then I actually DID end up finding someone better. :)

natalie25 · Oct 5, 2009, 11:31 PM

Thanks u give me hope.

DevilNam · Oct 6, 2009, 03:31 AM

I'm glad it helped you. Maybe you've truly loved him, but his love for wasn't this way. I know it's hard, but you've just learned that people come to your life as well as they leave. But don't worry, everything will be fine. I know it's annoying, you're probably still thinking of him. But if you want to get him back just try it. But there's no guarantee that you'll be OK then. :| If my girlfriend left me, I would try to get her back no matter what xD I know in my head that it's not the right thing to do, but my heart would say, you can do this. I'm really sorry for you, hope you'll be fine... best wishes

natalie25 · Oct 6, 2009, 08:13 AM

I don't think it would be worth it to try it. Id make a fool of myself. He really is very busy and there isn't much time to fit me in. I'm starting to understand even though its very hard. I'm just not much of a priority to him like school is. :( which does hurt a lot.

Cat1864 · Oct 6, 2009, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by natalie25

i dont think it would be worth it to try it. id make a fool of myself. he really is very busy and there isnt much time to fit me in. im starting to understand even tho its very hard. im just not much of a priority to him like school is. :( which does hurt alot.

Work full-time
School full-time plus studying and other class related projects
Internship

There really isn't any time left for self maintenance-eating, sleeping, grooming, etc.

I give him some respect for realizing that he couldn't give you the attention and care that you deserve. If he had tried to keep up that crazy schedule and your relationship, one or both of you would have started resenting the other person and the demands he/she made or couldn't keep up with.

It may not feel like it, but it is better to break up now than later after the relationship is so damaged that you are hurting each other.

natalie25 · Oct 6, 2009, 10:51 AM

Wow you are totally right. Just makes me upset that earlier he said we would work it out. And than when the time came he realized he couldn't I guess. Just sucks when you think you are meant to be and crap gets in the way. Its so hard to move on. It makes me feel like I've had much stronger feelings for him than he has for me. Like he didn't care.

ohsohappy · Oct 6, 2009, 12:43 PM

You've only been together 6 months. There's plenty of time and other guys that will be able to be there with you. Just be patient. Healing doesn't usually happen automatically.

Cat1864 · Oct 6, 2009, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by natalie25

wow you are totally right. just makes me upset that earlier he said we would work it out. and than when the time came he realized he couldn't i guess. just sucks when you think you are meant to be and crap gets in the way. its so hard to move on. it makes me feel like ive had much stronger feelings for him than he has for me. like he didnt care.

It sounds like he cares enough to understand that the pressures you're talking about would have had you at each other's throats in a fairly short time.

I have watched it happen before when couples have conflicting schedules or one person has obligations that take up almost all of their time-free or otherwise.

It's not going to be easy to forget this one because there really is no one at fault. No bad experiences. No he did this/he did that. It is just plain bad timing on when you got together.

Give yourself time and permission to heal. You will come out stronger and ready for the relationship that is meant to be long term.

natalie25 · Oct 6, 2009, 05:15 PM

You are totally right. I keep telling myself that later on the relationship would just get worse since he is so busy. But I feel like its harder to get over him because he never treated me bad and I thought I was in love. He and people tell me who knows how the future will be. But he isn't done with all that for a dang year! I can't wait that long even though I want him to come back. It just sucks like you said that it happened when it did. I wish he could handle it. Do you think its harder to get over someone when the break up is clean or bad? Cause I like can't hate him I have no reason to. But maybe he didn't love me like I loved him. Relationships sucks! I think I'm done with them lol

ohsohappy · Oct 6, 2009, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by natalie25

relationships sucks! i think im done with them lol

That's not cliché at all. *sarcasm*
Everyone says that from time to time. But if you keep going then you're a lot closer to finding love then you would if you just gave up,

natalie25 · Oct 6, 2009, 07:03 PM

Haha I know. And I know I'm young. I need to stop dwelling on him. Someone slap me!

DevilNam · Oct 6, 2009, 09:49 PM

*slap* you're welcome

natalie25 · Oct 8, 2009, 05:22 PM

Why do guys stop talking to you after they break up with you? Is this normal for awhile? We dated six months and really cared for each other. He soon got really busy with school and work. So he ended it because he thought their wouldn't be enough time and it wouldn't be fair. I know it was hard for him and he does care for me. But its been a week and we haven't talked. Is he just a baby to say anything? Or is he just going to wait awhile until we can talk as friends? I know its good for me cause it helps me get over him. But any guys out there that want to answer this? Why doesn't he try to contact me. Is he really just busy or to scared to say anything. Just wondering what he's going through Thanks! :)

Alty · Oct 8, 2009, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by natalie25

Why do guys stop talking to you after they break up with you? Is this normal for awhile? We dated six months and really cared for eachother. He soon got really busy with school and work. So he ended it because he thought their wouldnt be enough time and it wouldnt be fair. i know it was hard for him and he does care for me. But its been a week and we havent talked. Is he just a baby to say anything? Or is he just gonna wait awhile until we can talk as friends? i know its good for me cause it helps me get over him. But any guys out there that wanna answer this? Why doesnt he try to contact me. Is he really just busy or to scared to say anything. Just wondering what hes going through Thanks!! :)

It's called No Contact, and it's the recommended way to break off a relationship.

You said it yourself, it's helping you get over him, well, it's doing the same for him.

He may call one day, try to be friends, but he may just move on with his life, leave you in the past.

BlackVY · Oct 8, 2009, 05:38 PM

Coming from a guy, yes we do have feelings..

Breaking up with someone and then still talking to them and keeping in contact with them does not help with the break up and moving on...

No Contact does help because it doesn't allow you to be around the person or talk to them, therefore less chance of you trying to get back with them.

The guy has made the right move, and as you said, it was hard for him, so this is what is best for him too. He is not being a baby, he is trying to deal with his pain, so once he is able to get his feelings in-check, he might contact you again and you can be friends.

But to the original question, yes, guys have feelings...

nessa46 · Oct 8, 2009, 08:26 PM

I am in the exact position as you Natalie! Our stories are pretty much identical. My ex and I dated for six months cared deeply for each other and he was very emotional when we broke up because he had a lot of other things going on. I tried no contact then gave into it. He was very friendly and promised me we would meet up once school started. That never happened and I have been in no contact with him for 3 weeks now. I'm still very hurt and care for him very much, but your ex probably does have feelings but is just trying to get his life in order. Maybe you guys can be friends eventually but the best solution is patience and if it happens then great, if it doesn't then it's his loss.