[whatsnext2009]

But I saw her point of view being the first weekend in college with her new roomates and she wanted to be with her girls

And then come sat she didn't even go out , she sat at home doing her school work lol...

But yeah... I'm just bothered because out of all the girls I dated, she was quite the amazing, head on straight (ha for the most part when it didn't include relationships), girl that I ever dated. Lik eher qualities I would see in a wife.

But yeah she is young and trying to see what she wants in life.

I am just not sure what's in store for this weekend if I run into her. Do I miss her? I don't really miss the constant text and phone talks here and there, but I wouldn't mind a hey how are you what's up kind of deal.

I'm annoyed because this is the 3rd relationship where after 6 month point, they usually went sour

The first one asked me to convert to her religion, I left.
The second one said it was too serious
The third one, well, you figure it out

I'm not sure hwat to do... do I do a no contact for a few months? Do I try to talk to her after giving her some space?

Well by the looks of it, it seems I should leave her alone and no contact.
But what if she comes back yet AGAIN realizing she knows what she wants, which was me.

[jmw0713]

Sounds like a game she is playing with you. She wants to be single and party and experience college. In her mind you are holding her back, so when she doesn't want you around anymore, she just "breaks-up" with you.

Pretty soon, you will be coming back writing that she hooked up with one of her roommate's friends or something.

This situation is no good. Why are YOU letting yourself be dragged through the mud over and over again. If I was constantly smelling this much BS, I'd end it myself.

[talaniman]

What you fail to see is that you focus on the reality of your situation, not the what ifs, that may not happen. That's about your healing, and how well you adjust to your changed circumstances.

That's what's important right now, you, not her, or what she does.

[whatsnext2009]

Sounds like a game she is playing with you. She wants to be single and party and experience college. In her mind you are holding her back, so when she doesn't want you around anymore, she just "breaks-up" with you.

Pretty soon, you will be coming back writing that she hooked up with one of her roommate's friends or something.

This situation is no good. Why are YOU letting your self be dragged through the mud over and over again. If I was constantly smelling this much BS, I'd end it myself.

Yeah, I know it is stupid games. I failed to pickup on it when it first started. But the whole partying thing, I didn't understand, because she didn't even go out on Saturday, sat at home by herself watching TV. And Friday, she was out for maybe 2 hours, then went home by midnight. So that's why I didn't see the partying thing maybe as what she wanted, even though she talked about can't waiting to party that first weekend of school.

But when I look back on all this, I did put up with a lot, went out of my way, put in more effort. Yes I may be happy when I was with her, but still. It shouldn't be this hard to be in a relationship.

Well currently in no contact. How is it working out? Easy so far. I thought about her a few times during the day yesturday and this morning. But I think I'll survive.

[whatsnext2009]

No contact continues.

I'm beginning to realize how the communication wasn't always there, and she'd avoid arguments just for the sake of avoiding them.

Hell, she broke up with me under the influence of alcohol. 2 thumbs up to that one. The first time was over the phone.

[whatsnext2009]

NC since sun morning. She called just now and left a vm.

She said she had a feeling I wasn't going to answer. She wanted to talk to me.. so if I want to tallk call or text or wahtever.. if I want. Bye

[amicon]

She s fishing.Dont swallow the bait.Man up and step away from the drama.

[kctiger]

It's a given that once you go NC they will eventually try to get in touch with you. That is when you find out how much strength and how serious you really are about doing this.

[whatsnext2009]

I don't feel like calling, because I don't know if it's a you know what I made a mistake or a HI friendly crap

So I feel better not ignoring it. I think if she really wanted me, she will keep attempting, she knows I will be in her college down thur-sun. so I would expect higher efforts to see me when I'm there. Bu ti could be wrong because she really isn't a chaser.

[kctiger]

If she really wants you she will show up in person and do everything she can to prove it. Phone calls, emails, texts, they mean nothing.

[whatsnext2009]

Haha yeah true. But she won't show up at my place because she has no car in college.

So that means since I am ignoring this, she will have to make a much stronger attempt thur-sun.


Otherwise, she just wanted attention. And then I suckered in to breaking nc

[Survivor07]

I think the hard part of NC is when THEY are doing the contacting. That's when you find out how strong you are.

You mentioned this was only your third relationship. That's how it works. You meet new people, date, even have a relationship for a few months. You learn about yourself and what you like; what you don't.

If you want to stop the drama, then you stop. NC
This situation of on and off again could go on for years, if you let it, and during that time you will miss out on many other opportunities life has to offer.

[whatsnext2009]

No no I don't want drama.

But if it comes to a point where the girl REALLY realizes that she loves me and misses me and wants to work things out, then cool.

But I don't want to be a sucker and answer if that's not the case you know?

And I also don't want to think what if , like if I just lost the opporunity and will always wonder what if...

I'm surprised she called actually, I would have expected like a text, and not a phone call.

[Survivor07]

She may just want to make sure she still "has" you.

Time will tell what she really wants, but it's not going to be any time soon.

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rule-Once you start NC, Its time to get a life that you enjoy without the ex. Or else you sit like a dope wondering what if, or what she means, or why not. All a waste of time.

Talaniman Rule- Nothing like a break up to find out about yourself, and do you like what you have become?

Talaniman rule- If your worrying about what an ex is doing, or will do, then your not doing what your supposed to do for yourself.

Talaniman Rule- If you can't make yourself better by yourself, how the heck can you expect somebody else to do it for you?

Talaniman Rule- Never show your wussihood by falling for cheap crap from another human being, ex, or not.

[whatsnext2009]

1:00am text

"are you done talking to me"

Damnit sh ewoke me up, time to back to sleep

Tal I like the rules u have.

[amicon]

Tal s rules are good advice and Id re-read them every time this girl tries to contact you.

[talaniman]

Wish I didn't have to learn them the hard way :( :o

[amicon]

That's why it s called the school of hard knocks!:-)

[jmw0713]

Don't let her emotionless texts make you feel guilty. This is what she wanted.