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amicon · Aug 20, 2009, 11:16 AM

Ok- no firing squad- but you kind of know that's probably a slippery slope.. . suggestion: you re possibly more in love with the idea of this relationship than the lady herself-now don't shoot me!

harriejansen · Aug 20, 2009, 11:54 AM

Hey Monica! You might be right, but I want to find out. I will use these 3 weeks to become more relaxed and hopefully get to a state of mind where I can cope with whatever comes up. This week with my friend has helped me, specially the fact that he "should" be in far worse shape than I am, considering he lost his home, job and girlfriend of 5 years all at once! And he happily thanking me for going out every night with him and having him in my house haha.

I am pretty sure my "ex" has issues and specially with the fact that she thinks I won't have children with her, at least that is what I suspect. I suppose that for a woman of 36 a lot of biological issues are playing up as well. I think it is good that we have had this space of a couple of months, hopefully I get the chance to talk to her and understand things better.

amicon · Aug 20, 2009, 12:16 PM

A man s got to do what a man s got to do-right? :-)

talaniman · Aug 20, 2009, 12:18 PM

You have calmed down, and hopefully you'll be calmer in 3 weeks. Wait and see.

harriejansen · Aug 21, 2009, 04:32 AM

My friend just left, we had a good week drinking and going out too much but anyway! On Monday the kids will be here again for 2 weeks, have to get them ready to return to school. For the rest, wait and see... nothing much else I can do.

harriejansen · Aug 22, 2009, 08:09 AM

Friends... considering the fact that I made the decision to contact her again, now that 2,5 months have passed since we've seen each other and I think I haven't had enough yet to be able to let go and feel there honestly might be one more chance...

I will go there in 2 weeks time, as I live there 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. Would it be best to try to set a "date" in advance with her so 2 weeks will pass before we can meet... or just call her up when I am in her city in two weeks time so that we can meet almost right away?

N0help4u · Aug 22, 2009, 08:22 AM

Call her and see where it goes.

harriejansen · Aug 22, 2009, 08:44 AM

I'll call her from Barcelona. That way I'll be in town. If I do it from here it will be 2 weeks before we can meet and I want to see her face to face.

amicon · Aug 22, 2009, 09:09 AM

Yes call her if that is what you truly want-she can only say yes she wants to see you or no she doesn't.

harriejansen · Aug 23, 2009, 07:29 AM

I'll wait with calling her. In fact, I have no clue what to say. Will be awkward as she has not responded to my mail last month where I propose to talk.

I find it very weird that it takes me so much effort to get out of this situation... at 46...

amicon · Aug 23, 2009, 07:55 AM

It s not really weird harrie-you fell in love and we can't switch off our emotions from one day to the next.or week or month etc.and I don't think age matters either.I think what matters is that any relationship that goes break up make up break up needs a real overhaul if its ever going to work in the future.and that means both people seriously working on themselves and for the relationship.what would you say to her? Only you can decide that. If my ex were to call me today-well I changed my number, so presumably he cant-but I would politely tell him I want no contact.. but that's me!

talaniman · Aug 23, 2009, 08:55 AM

Harriejansen; I'll wait with calling her. In fact, I have no clue what to say. Will be awkward as she has not responded to my mail last month where I propose to talk.

Take the hint, my friend and back off that expectation, as it seems to be unrealistic in face of the fact she doesn't respond. You have to find your own closure to this to move beyond it.

I find it very weird that it takes me so much effort to get out of this situation... at 46...

Your not trying to get out of the situation, your trying to fix it where you get what you want from it. That's what makes it so hard, as its not under your control, but hers, and her actions (or non-actions) speak louder than any words could. They say leave her alone, except if its about her business.

harriejansen · Aug 23, 2009, 08:59 AM

Yep Tal. Part of my confusion is the fact that her previous episode of ignoring me in February, she had been even more clear in refusing to talk to me, but eventually we came back together.

I'll let it be, and every now and then when I'll get these mental hickups I'll keep writing here if you let me...

talaniman · Aug 23, 2009, 10:48 AM

Hmmmm, okay Harrie, as long as we can comment on your vents, you know how we are. :D :eek: :).

amicon · Aug 23, 2009, 11:11 AM

Don't worry we will! :)

harriejansen · Aug 24, 2009, 02:09 AM

In an hour I'll have my kids again for 2 weeks! That means I survived two weeks alone with way too much going out, beers etc. Hopefully these 2 weeks will be good for me, and then return to ground 0...

No news from the front whatsoever. She is doing 0 contact also. Pffffff silly actually...

amicon · Aug 24, 2009, 02:17 AM

Enjoy your kids!

harriejansen · Aug 24, 2009, 10:00 AM

I have great kids! 3 sons! Today I have a up day for a change, I think I am starting to get over my little princess...

amicon · Aug 24, 2009, 10:16 AM

You r lucky -I have one son and he s great.enjoy happy days.its good being a parent!

harriejansen · Aug 25, 2009, 01:04 PM

Went sailing today again, very nice with friends, and had a great Paella.

It is still hot here, but August is nearly over and in September everything starts again.

No news from the front of course... but I feel more emotionally detached, we'll see what happens.