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N0help4u · Aug 1, 2009, 06:03 AM

IF she is worth keeping you need to PROVE it to yourself. Don't get drunk whether she does or not. Be in control of yourself and the situation. Do not try to control her though.
Watch, give it time and see if she tones it down for you.

My one daughter was a big party girl but in the end she found the right guy and now has a very settled good life. So it is possible. We just don't want to see you getting tangled up with the wrong girl. A bad relationship can be something you end up regretting for years.

talaniman · Aug 1, 2009, 12:38 PM

A-So should I...
Ask her on a real date?

B-Continue with its current state, see if someone finally makes a move?

C-Distance myself and eat these feelings and move on?

D-Wake up and realize I'm 21 and don't get attached to every girl I have sex with?

All of the above, and think about C, as a later consideration. Enjoy being single but go slow, so the lust doesn't have you making promises you can't keep. You may have to be very honest with her though, and that has its own responsibility.

If you want to date others, be straight up about it, and enjoy yourself.

troy70 · Aug 9, 2009, 02:35 PM

Threads merged and edited

So this girl I know from high school (we're both 21 now), we kick it almost everyday and I really have a thing for her. We BOTH just ended a long relationship a little more then a month ago. Ive told her I have feelings for her but if we were to date/be in a relationship that it would be really slow, and she even said that's perfect because she's in no rush.. That was about 2 weeks ago I said that and now I'm wanting to go further. But every time we hang out I don't make a move, and neither does she. We've had sex a few times, its very unromantic, which is fine I guess (to be honest my ex was better) but I still really like this girl.

So now it kind of feels like we're turning into friends/f buddys which I don't want. She's a pretty crazy girl.. like for instance this weekend she left for LA (we live in SD) to hang with a GUY friend for the weekend and drink n party. I didn't want to tell her not to go cause id be jealous and that seems lame. And she doesn't seem like the kind of girl to be tied down, especially right now. I have no idea if she flirted or had sex with this guy, but its not really bothering me because I mean, we're both on the same boat 21 and single hehe.

So I know I need to make a move but it just doesn't really feel right if we were to be intimate or hold hands like bf/gf's do. And the past few relationships I've had the girl always made the advances to let me know they want to date and be exclusive. I could see myself being very intimate with this girl but she doesn't really seem like the intimate type. And by intimate I mean cuddle/spoon/hold hands/kiss in public. And I don't want to be f buddys... she texts/calls me everyday to see what I'm up to and if I want to hang out. Im just confused as to what to do =(

N0help4u · Aug 9, 2009, 03:17 PM

You say you want to take it slow but then you had sex. Hpw are you not making a move if you had sex??
That is NOT taking it slow. That only confuses the issues of taking it slow.

Sounds like she is looking for nothing more than you just being another guy that is there for her friends with benefits. You are reading into things much more than she appears to be interested in.

Sounds to me like you didn't feel right about the sex -that it was unromantic with her because that is just what it was --there is no romance in her for you.

No matter how much you want a relationship it just ain't going to happen. You should just tell her that you are interested in more. See what she says and most probably move on.

troy70 · Aug 17, 2009, 12:26 AM

Threads merged and edited

So I've been seeing this girl almost daily for about a month now. All we do is hang out at her place or mine and watch movies... (and true blood every Sunday :D).We usually just end up sitting next to each other while watching the movie and chit chatting or laughing. About the only thing we've done besides hang out n be lazy is we've had sex twice which we both enjoyed! And I've given her massages on her shoulder, back, arms, etc. a few times during a movie. We are old friends and totally have a thing for each other and talked about it frequently back in the day when we hung out. But I did have a girlfriend at the time and was totally faithful and out of respect for my girlfriend didn't see this girl at all =(

I don't know if I need to make a move and it almost feels like she's in the same boat... (she usually asks for the massage though). We are both are 21 and just ended a long relationship. And normally Id be all over her like I was when I started dating my ex... But I feel so scared to do it with this girl for some reason I can't explain! I can't tell if its because I'm not use to being intimate with another girl so soon? Or maybe I just don't feel the drive for this girl like I have other girls... But she's all I think about and I know I have feelings for her and I can't explain why I haven't just dove into this girl yet who says she loves hanging out with me! Ugh I'm confused hard core with myself right now. I'm a mess and I feel like a coward and for lack of a better word, a female genetalia!

HEELP!!

britEl · Aug 17, 2009, 02:17 AM

It sounds like you want to ask her out but you don't want to risk the great friendship you have with each other. Maybe slowly start asking if she is ready to start dating again or something give hints towards that let her know that you are ready to start dating again (when you are actually ready.)
Good Luck :)

LJDK · Aug 17, 2009, 02:55 AM

Tell her you do not believe in casual sex. This should give her a hint that you are actually intrested in something more serious.

talaniman · Aug 17, 2009, 07:13 AM

After merging your threads together, and seeing an entire picture, not only have you started becoming attached to this girl rather fast (having casual sex does that sometimes), but she is also feeling single, and free enough to, go visit guy friends for the week end, while you are sitting home "waiting for the courage to make a move".

I think your both just soothing over some hurt feelings from your break ups(rebound), and she recognizes it, but you don't. If I were you, I would do as she does, and balance your life with more than just hanging with one person, or getting into the routine of being with only one person. That way what ever it is your doing with her will not be the only thing you do for yourself, and that attachment you have, will give you a better perspective as to what's really going on, and if you need to make, a move or not.

It seems some communications are in order, and despite your efforts to go slowly, your rushing into this way to fast, because your feelings are leading you without thoughts based on facts, through communications. I doubt she sees things as you do, even if the sex is great, and the massages are the bomb.