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Sunny406 · Aug 16, 2009, 02:31 PM

My daughters dad and I had her out of wedlock. He has never established his rights through the court system. I am wondering what rights he has and since he has not contacted any of us for almost a year, at what point does abandonment kick in? I am wanting him to relinquish his rights and for my husband to adopt her, however, I do not know what options I have. Please help

N0help4u · Aug 16, 2009, 02:42 PM

Abandonment doesn't kick in.
His rights are that if and when he cares to bother with her he can go file partical custody/visitation orders and you can tell the Judge that he has failed to be a father in xx years. Then it is up to the Judge to decide.

Have you gone after him for child support you really should if you haven't

rookie231 · Aug 16, 2009, 05:17 PM

In many states, he may sign over his parental rights if: he agrees to relinquish rights and your husband adopts the child (usually you must be married at least one year).

Synnen · Aug 16, 2009, 07:47 PM

Why do women think that just because they make it difficult for a guy to be around their kid (because let's face it--there just can't be THAT many deadbeat guys out there that care absolutely NOTHING about their offspring) that they can just hand the title of "daddy" around legally whenever they want to?

Here's what you do:

1. Get a lawyer.
2. Go to court and get child support and custody LEGALLY established.
3. Get married.
4. Stay married for at LEAST a year.
5. Ask the biological father if he will VOLUNTARILY relinquish so that an adoption can go through.
6. If he WILL, that's great! You file VTPR and Adoption paperwork on the same day in court.
7. If he WON'T, your sh!t out of luck. Generally, the only reason a COURT (not you, the court) will terminate parental rights is when the parent is a danger to the child.

jessica30642 · Aug 17, 2009, 08:44 AM

After a year of not seeing his child or paying child support you can terminate his rights but your husband has to be willing to adopt your daughter or he can terminate his rights I have been researching this I'm going through the same thing my ex is in jail 4 not paying child support and yes there is hope girl just keep praying

N0help4u · Aug 17, 2009, 08:48 AM

You can not terminate his rights without his consent.

stevetcg · Aug 17, 2009, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by jessica30642

after a year of not seeing his child or paying child support you can terminate his rights but your husband has to be willing to adopt your daughter or he can terminate his rights i have been researching this I'm going through the same thing my ex is in jail 4 not paying child support and yes there is hope girl just keep praying

So very very wrong.

First, time has nothing to do with it. Second, only a court can terminate his rights (neither he nor you can, although he can allow them to be terminated for an adoption).

Where have you researched this? Because it is wrong on many levels.

cdad · Aug 17, 2009, 01:28 PM

Originally Posted by jessica30642

after a year of not seeing his child or paying child support you can terminate his rights but your husband has to be willing to adopt your daughter or he can terminate his rights i have been researching this I'm going through the same thing my ex is in jail 4 not paying child support and yes there is hope girl just keep praying

Please post your references and check the " sticky " at the top of this forum. You might be misreading it and we all would like to confirm what's really going on.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-116098.html