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amicon · Aug 12, 2009, 01:17 AM

Good morning.any time of letting go takes time.it helps to keep really busy.and maybe not get stuck in the what if thinking mode.. .

harriejansen · Aug 12, 2009, 01:29 AM

Getting really busy in August is the problem! But I am OK, will go out mountainbiking today, good to get rid of negative energy.

amicon · Aug 12, 2009, 01:31 AM

That's the ticket!:-)

harriejansen · Aug 12, 2009, 07:10 AM

I almost called her! Jeeeezzz...

amicon · Aug 12, 2009, 07:16 AM

What stopped you. don't fall off the wagon.

harriejansen · Aug 12, 2009, 07:20 AM

The fact that I'd have to admit it to you guys stopped me! Haha

I think I am making good progress in the detaching process, or am I...

On the other hand, I still want her...

suummerr09x3 · Aug 12, 2009, 07:23 AM

Don't fall for her trick. She is just going to hurt you in the end. She is talking all business like and even emailing you just to see if your with anyone else. And she probably knows it drives you crazy. Don't let her get the best of you. Stay strong and show her how strong you are. You don't need her. I understand you still love her but do you really think she still loves you?

amicon · Aug 12, 2009, 07:26 AM

That's the best deterrent ever! :-)you re doing well.hang in there -and hide the phones.

harriejansen · Aug 12, 2009, 07:28 AM

Hi Summer, I have absolutely no idea wheather she loves me or not. I know that we were both very insecure and that lead to mistrust. I think she has been burned badly in the past. Also I think that she is figuring that my having 3 kids with shared custody is too complicated for her... I don't know. Maybe I had made too big a idea of a new start with a beautiful girl in my head, after 6 years of being single with one night stands only.

suummerr09x3 · Aug 12, 2009, 07:33 AM

You having three kids should not be a big deal. I'm 18 and had a kid when I was 13 and no one looks at me different. Shared custody over kids is normal. If she has a problem with that than she's so not worth your time. You need to find a girl that will care and love you for who you are. And can deal with the fact that you have shared custody over your kids. If she can't deal with that than why waste your time? If that's the reason you think she's not with you now, what makes you think she will ever be with you again?

talaniman · Aug 12, 2009, 08:13 AM

Ever think she uses you for your business connections? That may have to end unless you have a plan to deal with it better. I have one, get a social life of your own.

harriejansen · Aug 12, 2009, 08:21 AM

The "business connection" was just an opportunity to sell a product against the mexican flu in morocco. She has a contact with the product, I have a contact in Morocco with contacts in the hospital world. I think she used this "business" as an excuse to get back in touch really. Then I sent her the mail about me feeling we are playing games around the "business" and so far no news. Her silence says enough I guess. On the other hand, I am silent also...

My social life is OK.

harriejansen · Aug 13, 2009, 01:31 AM

Wow have had a terrible sleepless night what a mess. I don't know if I can keep this up. I need to talk to her...

Well just venting. Today a friend from Barcelona comes over to hang out a couple of days, will be partying a lot this weekend.

amicon · Aug 13, 2009, 01:46 AM

Morning dutchman. Vent on that's the whole point.dont drown in your emotions.or swim if you must.:-)

harriejansen · Aug 13, 2009, 03:40 AM

It is a bit like the Billy Joel song, goodnight Saigon...

They rule the night.. and the night seems to last as long as six weeks...

I woke up several times bathing in sweat! Now I am OK again. Strong stuff. I still have to figure out a next step, I am not ready to give up yet. Am I crazy?

amicon · Aug 13, 2009, 04:15 AM

Not anymore than most of us I guess.but we re all different.my story is that by going N C straight away I could start concentrating on me.and though I miss the many good moments I'm now quite happy knowing that the bad ones are gone.I know my relationship is over and to me that's a relief.I don't think you are there yet.but from what I gather from your posts you are getting stronger and more in tune with yourself as the days go by.

harriejansen · Aug 17, 2009, 03:22 AM

Hi guys, still here. Have a friend over for a couple of days and going out a lot. Still she is constantly on my mind... Next week I will have the kids again so it will be 3 weeks before going back to barcelona and then what? I still feel the need to contact her, although in general I am more relaxed now, much less anxiety.

harriejansen · Aug 19, 2009, 03:06 AM

Although I feel a little bit better, I am still not 100% convinced this no contact is really the way to go. I have not spoken to her in over 2 months, and 3 weeks since I mailed her... but my feelings are still as strong as ever. What would be the best approach to talk to her? Or am I way off even thinking of speaking to her?

amicon · Aug 19, 2009, 03:15 AM

N C is the best way in my opinion.thats coming from me who today has spent three hours stopping myself from emailing my ex to let him know what a... I think he is.can only speak for myself but I know I if I were to break the N C I d be back on square one again.and I don't want to go there. Sorry for ranting.:-)

harriejansen · Aug 20, 2009, 10:10 AM

Friends, I feel NC is not helping. I am a lot calmer but nowhere near over her at all. This week a friend of mine came over. He lost his job, and also his relationship of 5 years... but he is very much enjoying himself here with me and I can't get over my relationship of only 6 months!

I think I have to try once more to at least talk to her. Don't shoot me! I still have almost 3 weeks to go before returning to the city we both work in...