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jmw0713 · Aug 7, 2009, 09:01 AM

Perhaps I over-estimated the quality of her character.

Yes you have. This just shows you what type of person she really is.

CanIBuyAClue · Aug 7, 2009, 11:45 AM

Tal: I'm not sure about my expectations not being realistic, I mean how hard is it to say "hey I'm sorry to hear about your loss..." I'm not expecting a box of tissues brought to me and pamper me all day... I've heard that simple saying from numerous people already whom I did not invest 13 months of my life with and thought I knew inside and out.

Jmw thanks for the input, I still can honestly not believe I did not get any sort of condolence. What kind of person does that.. Ugh that frustrates me so much...

talaniman · Aug 7, 2009, 03:06 PM

Welcome to reality, where not everyone has your moral sense. She dumped you, and she is through with you, that's reality too.

CanIBuyAClue · Aug 7, 2009, 03:52 PM

Right on both accounts! Lol. And quite frankly, the lack of moral sense allows it to be so much easier to let go.

CanIBuyAClue · Aug 8, 2009, 10:11 AM

So now day 16 of NC... although I did see her for the first time in a while at work yesterday. I had to help fill in at a store that she works at, that's not breaking my NC streak though... I can't help it offering to help where help is needed. Still did not hear any sort of condolence about my relative's passing. Just made light chit chat for a few minutes. Once again, can obviously tell she is still way into me. Ya know what, I really just don't like being around her anymore. I mean, I just don't want to see her, don't want to hear her voice, don't want to hear her laugh, don't want to know what she is or will be doing,. anything. I'm really not even sure why I care anymore, I mean looking at things objectively, I'm more intelligent, better career and further along in it, more educated, wealthier, more athletic and a more muscular toned body, damn handsome, better sense of humor, superior in so many ways (I'm trying not to be a narcissist here - she is cute, and a good person -- although maybe not as good as I thought with how she's handled certain things). It is so clear that she is towing the family line, her mom even came into the store where I was working when I was there (don't know what for - just saw her come in). It was so funny, when we were together I would help her with and even do some of her homework / tests for her, and when she was looking for a different career I created a resume for her based off mine which is crafted from a business school education. She is currently looking at a new career and when we happened to run into each other a little way into the chit chat she asked me if I still have that cover letter and resume I did for her. (I about fell out of my chair laughing) , I simply responded nope I deleted it (along with everything else related to you from my computer honey! - SO wanted to say that :) ). I was like... yeah right, you put me through all this hell and go from we're not right together to well maybe we just need a break, to showing up where I am and then us hanging out together, you acting like my girlfriend again, then asking if we just need time, then two days later saying we can't hang out anymore, then a week later we can't hang out anymore or be friends... I'm manipulating you, blah blah blah... Sorry for the rambling, just trying to portray the evolution (and venting a little bit). To NOW wanting my help with the awesome resume that I created for you. Sorry, find somebody else to do that for you, you revoked your girlfriend privilege card remember? How about having your Mom do it for you... oh that's right she didn't go to college and is a homemaker (Not hating on homemakers here - good ones are very necessary for society, just showing lack of certain skills). That did feel good to shut her down on that. That, and I'm looking damn good! If anything right now, I'm using all of this frustration as motivation to get absolutely ripped in the gym... I'm talking like fitness model ripped lol. There is no better motivation than rejection in my book!

CanIBuyAClue · Aug 12, 2009, 10:35 AM

So my updates right now are basically just upgrading on my status. Day 20 of NC and going strong. I think I'll stop counting once I reach a month. No urge to call or anything, I've had several good things happen lately for me financially so that is helping me think about her less and less. Still hitting the gym hard, work going good, and getting richer. Life is good! :)

kctiger · Aug 12, 2009, 10:46 AM

NICE! 20 days is well done sir.

amicon · Aug 12, 2009, 10:48 AM

Keep up the good work.

jmw0713 · Aug 12, 2009, 11:48 AM

Yes keep going. Keep hitting the gym hard. 20 days is great, but look out for those down days... that's when the gym really helps out.

kirriky · Aug 12, 2009, 04:21 PM

Well, one good thing that's come out of all this. (You going to the gym, that is).

I'm intrigued though... you have an awsome resume and a college education and a business school and you work in a store?

CanIBuyAClue · Aug 12, 2009, 07:04 PM

I keep my company of employment and some other details vague for Google search reasons :) Maybe I am just paranoid lol.

Thanks for the encouragement guys. I really haven't had any "down days" in a couple of weeks, I am definitely doing my absolute best at keeping busy. I just sold my car and pocketed a few thousand $$$ in equity, and will be saving about $500 / month between car payment/gas/insurance and will be biking to work. Not like I'm hurting for money or anything (quite the opposite, I have a very nice nest egg saved up). But the benefits are two fold, I'll save even more money a month, and get more exercise in (yes, so that is biking to and from work, and lifting weights after work - every day of the week -- I told you, I am on a mission for 6-7% body fat %). So a lot of things are really falling into place. You just have to have faith in yourself (and God - really been focusing on my faith still). It is possible to get better. I more or less just realized that I am an awesome person and am a heck of a catch for anybody, and if somebody can't see it then I don't have time for them.

Here's hoping for no setbacks :)

CanIBuyAClue · Aug 17, 2009, 07:27 PM

Just an update, nothing too exciting sorry... :)

So I'm just about to complete Day 25 of NC and doing good. For some reason yesterday I really thought about her a lot, not really sure why... because the few days before that was when I really started to go a couple of hours without any thoughts of her creeping into my mind. Still hitting the gym hard and chiseling away to single digit body fat %. I did get to help out a really cute girl who came in as a client while at work today and we were really connecting. She is a little bit older than I am (not even a year) but has a lot of similar interests as me, and is also out of college with a finance degree and a year or so into a career. Now I just need to find a way to ask her out without coming across as unprofessional / out of line / weird lol. This totally helped me take my mind off the ex though. I guess more or less it was just an outward manifestation confirmation of what I've always known in my head - that I have a ton to offer women. We'll see what happens... not sure when I will talk to her again.

Just 5 more days until one month of NC! Each day I get richer and in better shape, there are positives! :)

kctiger · Aug 18, 2009, 05:47 AM

NICE! I am so happy for you C. Well done.

It will be interesting to ask this girl out seeing as she is your client. Perhaps it would be best to ask her out for lunch or coffee, something that doesn't over imply a dating scenario...

CanIBuyAClue · Aug 27, 2009, 08:40 PM

Ok so just an update...

I think I've completed like 35 days of NC now... (I stopped keeping track at a month). Still going strong. I'm thinking of the ex less and less and just sticking to keeping busy, not concerning myself with what's going on with her. I've had a lot of people telling me that I'm looking way lean and fit lately, it's been quite the ego boost :) In the last 3 months I've lost about 15 lbs. and have gotten stronger at the same time, so I'm keeping my mind focused on keeping up that good progress. Haven't had any alcohol in about a month and a half to help contribute to those gains. I've had this other really cute girl be really flirty with me lately, but she has a boyfriend currently... so I'm not pursuing that more than just being friendly and kind of flirty back, but I know the limitations and do not pursue taken women. It's funny because I hung out with her a few times (nothing happened) before I started dating my ex, and was kind of interested in her, but more so in my now ex... because I knew my ex better on a friendship level, and I like to start relationships with friendship. Anyway, I'm more or less doing that I guess to boost the ego a little bit, and it also helps get my mind off the ex too.

Just sticking to what I'm doing... and have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with me, and am really disappointed in myself with how broken up / semi-desperately I acted when she first initially broke up with me. But live and learn no? Lol. I'm just like... wait a second, I know everything that I have to offer here... are you kidding me? I have a work related get-together in about 2 weeks and am not sure if she is going to be showing up to that or not... I kind of don't want her to, but whatever, I want to go and am not going to let her dictate what I can and can't do. Ok, keep strong fellow AMHD'ers :)

jmw0713 · Aug 28, 2009, 06:04 AM

Great job with NC.

CanIBuyAClue · Sep 1, 2009, 08:17 PM

So an update...

Ugh, so by shifting of some personnel and such, guess who will be working in my building with me... yep, I'm sure you guessed it correctly. So now I'm going to have to deal with that for a while apparently. Not the way that I would like to find out about that with her greeting me and me not having a clue that she was going to be there. Oh well, a simple hello, and didn't chat outside of that. Because frankly, I don't want to hear what she has to say... about anything, and I really have nothing else to say to her. Yeah I'm sure I could have a good chat with her and just shoot the breeze and be my normal crack-up self, but I just don't feel like it around her. I just stuck with conversing and joking around with my other co-workers while ignoring her. Not a setback, just something I would not prefer. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger no? :)

ohsohappy · Sep 1, 2009, 08:36 PM

Exactly how old are you two? Are either of you in school? And if so, how far apart?

CanIBuyAClue · Sep 1, 2009, 11:06 PM

Both mid-20's, she's a couple years younger than me. I've had my Bachelor's for a couple years now. She was a couple years into school... changed majors, currently not going to school.

ohsohappy · Sep 1, 2009, 11:11 PM

Ohh okay I didn't catch your ages (more like I forgot to re read it and was more focused on everything else)

Anyway, She's confused. All I really know what to say is what other people have already told you. Be considerate of their advice. Good luck!

jmw0713 · Sep 2, 2009, 06:51 AM

Just go about your normal business and don't let her get to you.