[elajvv]

I had to submit this question twice, something is wrong with this website.

Here I go again.

Very simple.

My ex called my fiancé a whore to my son, he came home to us and repeated it.



We had a baby boy and made him a myspace account so that family and friends from out of state could see him. We asked her to show the page to my son, who was in her possession at the time.

We began communicating via misspace, she is very hostile and written messages were much easier.

When attempting to communicate with my son via telephone, they would not answer or return my messages. I confronted her about it on myspace via message. She stated that we bothered her by writing these messages which were never volatile in nature. We then reminded her of the trouble she gave my fiancé when we first divorced. She called her, harassing her and threatening her with violence. We also reminded her of what she had told her son to relay back to us "whore". She admitted to the harassment in writing. Can this be used against her in court, now that she is seeking full custody. We currently have full custody of my son.

Thank you for your time.


ELA, Ca.

[stevetcg]

If there was sort of police action it can be brought up in court. If not, it might as well have never happened.

However, since it is a custody issue, unless the illegal action was against the child, it will very likely not affect the final outcome.

[ScottGem]

It depends on the tone of a hearing, it may or may not be proper to bring it up. Do you have an attorney? I would ask them about it.

If you don't, then I would take the high road and not bring it up.

[Fr_Chuck]

If calling the "ex" names during a divorce or custody hearing was grounds for anything, every couple would have that to use.

If you have proof, evidence and more that the one parent is trying to turn the chid against you, that can and is used in court all the time.

[45notdaddy]

Can I incriminate my ex during a custody battle for using fowl language towards me.

Not unless the judge speaks partridge. Sorry I couldn't resist. I really should have, but perhaps a bit of humor might not be a bad thing.

[450donn]

Why would you want to? From personal experience the only one that gets hurt in a divorce are the children. You, no matter what your ex does must above everything else. Make a positive experience for your children.

[cadillac59]

I had to submit this question twice, something is wrong with this website.

Here i go again.

Very simple.

My ex called my fiance a whore to my son, he came home to us and repeated it.



We had a baby boy and made him a myspace account so that family and friends from out of state could see him. We asked her to show the page to my son, who was in her possession at the time.

We began communicating via misspace, she is very hostile and written messages were much easier.

When attempting to communicate with my son via telephone, they would not answer or return my messages. I confronted her about it on myspace via message. She stated that we bothered her by writing these messages which were never volatile in nature. We then reminded her of the trouble she gave my fiance when we first divorced. She called her, harassing her and threatening her with violence. We also reminded her of what she had told her son to relay back to us "whore". She admitted to the harassment in writing. Can this be used against her in court, now that she is seeking full custody. We currently have full custody of my son.

Thank you for your time.


ELA, Ca.

When I first read this I had to laugh-- sorry it just seems humorous for some reason.

But, having said that, if you weren't in a cusody battle in which the mom were seeking to change custody I'd say forget it. But she is trying to completely turn the parenting arrangement around and I say you definitely can use this against her. She has major anger management issues! You are divorced from this woman and have a child with someone else and she's still acting like some spoiled, possessive and jealous jilted teeager. Someone needs to tell her, "act like an adult, grow up, get over it!" You're not even married to this woman anymore and she's acting like this? Yeah, it's not so much the vituperation but the fact that she wishes to drag your son into what is an ongoing personal war she insists on waging that concerns me.

If you are in a custody evaluation, bring it up to the evaluator. If not, tell the court what she said.

[Jake2008]

This is one of those situations that I wish I knew both sides.

If you have full custody of your first son, why did you make a myspace account of your new baby, and ask your ex to show your son the pictures, while he was at her house. Could that not have waited until he was home, with you? These two boys live with you, right?

I don't know how old your first son is, but was there some special reason you wanted him to see those pictures then, and not wait until he could see them in his own home, with you?

With a custody fight going on, I think it is easy to get into these pointless arguments about who said what to whom, and for what purpose. It is a terrible burden and emotionally heartbreaking to hear that your first son has to relay messages that are full of venom.

Because regardless of who gets custody, and who gets visitation, all of you are going to have to deal with the healthy development of these children. If you put yourself in his position, between people he loves, fighting over him, his needs are not being met here.

As hard as it might be, at some point, everybody will have to get along, no matter how much the adults hate each other.

Parent teacher interviews, graduations, birthday parties, holidays, discipline problems, etc. etc. will be a nightmare if the adults cannot agree to disagree, and put the kids first.

Maybe the myspace thing wasn't such a good idea.

Have you considered counselling? It would be an appropriate place to get things out in the open, and start working on what the best ways are to communicate over the kids, without having to involve the kids at all. It might be a very impressive step, and look favourable to you if you have tried appropriate ways to find ways to communicate with your ex to stop the bickering.

[twinkiedooter]

If the ex has an attorney for the change of custody I am sure he would keep his client in line. If you have an attorney for your case to keep the full custody I would mention it to your attorney.

Suggest you ditch the myspace page as it is nothing but trouble for you and your family. Find another venue to keep in touch with relatives such as email accounts.

[JudyKayTee]

Not unless the judge speaks partridge. Sorry I couldn't resist. I really should have, but perhaps a bit of humor might not be a bad thing.

I am currently recovering from a post about a dog that keeps throwing his food out of his bowels onto the floor - I HOPE the OP meant "bowls."

Someone else just posted that you cannot get a divorce until your ex-spouse "consumes" sex. I assume they mean consummate, but who knows.

Another person knows someone who uses a strap on for sex in order to "spike" up the relationship.

However, calling someone a whore, while it may not be pleasant and should not be said to a child, is not a criminal act. It does become cruel and inhuman treatment if said to a spouse but that does not seem to be the case here.