[nextloislane]

I have recently married a fantastic man, Jonathon. He has always been kind and sweet to me. At least until here recently. We only acted like newlyweds for the first month and since then it has been hell. For two months we fought nearly every day at least once. It wasn't little petty arguments either. Huge fights. Before we got married it was never like that. If something bothered us we would discuss it and see each other's point of view. For some reason that has stopped. I have brought this to his attention time and time again but he doesn't seem to grasp what I am saying. There are two times where the fights have been so bad that he has taken off his wedding band. And many other times where he has thrown around the divorce word. I want to be with him, I mean I took his name and said my vows and I meant it. I believe in death do us part. I am a big believer in God and the holy state of matrimony I just don't know how to make my marriage good again. It's only been four months!:confused:

[Fr_Chuck]

What are you fighting about

[nextloislane]

Anything and everything. He once instigated a fight over silverware! When I want to go out with the girls he wants to start a fight. When I talk to guy friends it's a fight. He has a problem with using double standards and he doesn't like to see things from my point of view. I often feel like nothing I do is ever good enough or helps at all.

[simoneaugie]

It sounds to me like he has some control issues. Is he willing to go to marriage counseling with you? The guy you married seems to be gone, an angry, argumentative stranger has taken his place.

[kmt]

My husband and I went through the same things. Did you guys rush into marriage or date a long time? They say the first 5 years are the hardest we have been married 2 and its only when things get stressful that we fight. Maybe he's stressed out and your just there to take it out on. My husband and I didn't fight until after his mother died it was almost like living with another person. Has he had something big happen in his life other than you guys getting married? Did you live together before getting married?

[humble10]

My heart is crying out to you.I can feel your pain, I am going through the same thing.I been married for 4 months also.I will give you the advice that was given to me. Pray for him. Read your bible.If he is insulting you or putting you down, say to him the complete opposite of how that make you feel- words like, I love it when you encourage me, If he uses harsh words- I love it when you speak gentle to me.you are not alone sister.sometimes it gets worse before it get better.I know it's hard,but don't give up.

[Mommy102808]

I'm not even married yet but living with my fiancé and he has changed totally since we have moved in together almost a year ago. We have been together almost 4 years and I have never seen this side of him until now. We fight all the time, just about everyday but I always try to talk after everything has settled down and sometimes it helps and sometimes is don't. But I know I love him and know without a doubt he loves me and it's just a matter of getting to know each other all over again.
When you lived in separate houses it was easier because you didn't know ALL of his habits and he did not know yours. I guess when two lives come together there are going to be some problems and in time a new life will evolve and if you stick it out it will be a life forever with the man you love. I don't know if this helped or not but I wish you two the best!

[josh79]

Very encouraging words :)
My wife and I are separated cause I became very similar
To what you're talking about, to MY wife. I didn't insult her
But became emotionally distant and selfish after a while.
After the separation I also became suspicious of her because
Of her lying to me and so I invaded her private space a few
Times as well so that didn't help anything. I sure hope she's
Able to see things your way someday hehe.
Any advice? We have a 19m/o little girl by the way and my
Wife stays with her mother at the moment.

Thanks and Lord Bless,
Josh

My heart is crying out to you.I can feel your pain, I am going through the exact same thing.I been married for 4 months also.I will give you the advice that was given to me. Pray for him. Read your bible.If he is insulting you or putting you down, say to him the complete opposite of how that make you feel- words like, I love it when you encourage me, If he uses harsh words- I love it when you speak gentle to me.you are not alone sister.sometimes it gets worse before it get better.I know it's hard,but don't give up.

[450donn]

Anything and everything. He once instigated a fight over silverware! When I want to go out with the girls he wants to start a fight. When I talk to guy friends its a fight. He has a problem with using double standards and he doesn't like to see things from my point of view. I often feel like nothing I do is ever good enough or helps at all.

I will preface my comments with YOU NEED COUNSELING!
Now, going out with the girls? You are now married and as such you should now want to be with your spouse. Remember the part about forsaking all others?
Talking to guy friends? That is a NONO for a married women. Do not even put yourself in that position. Be morally upright.
Bottom line as I see I it from your posts, you are both rather immature and need some serious professional help. How old are you both?