[duzemonkey]

Hi there, I need help with a few things. Im 16 and Ive been dating my boyfriend for a year now. But lately Ive been feeling like id rather be friends that be dating. I still love him but now it seems like I love him more as a friend. I love all the physical stuff we do like hold hands and cuddle, but we've never have a good deep conversation. We talk about stuff but he never opens up to me. I wouldn't have the heart to break up with him because things would be sooo different at school and I could never see him with another person. I don't know what to do. Help.

[Ranthorn]

Now I might be able to help you with the opening up part wich may help with the "deep conversations"... I have a feeling that he is having trust issues you are his girlfriend and that gets you a lots more then if you wer just friends but you need to be more then a girlfriend you have to show him that it is OK to trust others and I think that the best way to do that is to show him that you trust him by sharing deep possibly intimate feelings with him and hopefully he will do the same. Hope this helps.

[duzemonkey]

I don't know what to do. Ive been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Hes my first boyfriend so everything was new and exciting in the beginning. But for a while now Ive been getting annoyed with him for a lot of things. He gets really jelous over my best friend (but not around guys) . He doesn't like it when me and her hang out. He also doesn't know me very well. He thinks I'm quite and don't like attention, but I'm the opposite. And whenever I'm around him I always think too much about what I'm going to do or say, it could be that I'm nervous around him. Also, he always tries to give me money. It gets really annoying. Its like he's trying to make himself look good in front of my friends by paying for me. But after I say no 5 times he still wants to pay for me. I tried to breakup with him about a month ago but he came to my house to convinced me not to. He said he liked it when I cry (cause I put my head on his shoulder) and I told him that he's the one that's making cry. He doesn't understand that I'm unhappy. Its like he's selfish. We don't really talk about serious stuff, like our relationship, but when we do he says all this stuff like he loves me but it seems like he's just saying it without the meaning. But I do like the cuddling, kissing, and holding hands. I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to break up with him and make it final, I need help.

[nitelight198073]

Well you need to break it off and keep it that way it is a very unhealthy relationship hold to your guns this time don't answer the door or the phone for him... you need to put distance between you two before it gets dangerous for you

[AManWithNoName]

Just break up with him, he obviously doesn't love you, and you obviously don't love him, it isn't love, its lust
Listen, I've been in relationships before, and I've told girls that I loved them when I really didn't, and the one time I did love the girl, she broke up with me before I had a chance to tell her
You can allways kiss, hold hands, cuddle, hug, whatever, with someone else, someone better then for you, some one who doesn't tell people how you act, when, in reality, its not how you act at all
And if he ends up making you cry, why do you cry on his shoulder, OK, ill admit, I like it when girls cry on my shoulder, weird? no? but any ways, if you cry on his shoulder, your just making it seem like you still want to be with him, like he still makes you happy, if he makes you cry, he isn't making you happy, he's upsetting you, and honey, you need to get the hell off his shoulder, stand up and tell him that he's not making you happy
And if he tries to convince you to stay, say no, its not that hard, nnnno, that's all, one word, no, and every time he tries to convince you, keep saying, no, no, no, no, its really a magical word
Please tell me how things work out

[danni2123]

Well you've got yourself a stage 5 clinger! Lol
No on a serious note I've been there done that.
If he doesn't want you to hang out with your girlfriends
That a good sign there. He is a controller. He just wants you around him
Alone so you will do whatever he says. I was in a relationship like that for 2 years
Of my life. It starts like that then mine got very abusive. I left him 3 times and still went back.
You need to leave him now before he really starts hurting you. You are young and should be able to do whatever you want. Don't ever let a man think he can tell you what you can and can't do. You chose to be with him for all this time. Now be strong and chose to leave.
I wish you luck. I know its hard to do but if you know you aren't happy and he doesn't want a serious relationship then you are both in 2 different places in your life.

[whatsmyyname]

Sorry man but you need to dump this guy. I went out with this guy who paid for everything and I got so angry I actually shouted at him... He is too clingy and isn't giving you space. He isn't right for you, he makes you nervous and you generally seem to be frightened by him, he basically is obsessed with you so its going to be hard, no doubt. It may be great the kissing etc but that's not worth it tbh. He wants to own you man. Just tell him that its not working and although it has been great you don't think you are right for him and you need your space, you could lie and say 'we can still be friends' but I don't think anyone believes that anymore. Say that he is lovely and a great person but its not working and its not something he can solve. If he continues to defend himself or keep it going then you have to keep assuring him that it is over you may eventually start screaming at him but as long as it gets the point across. He may be a lovely guy but at the same time its not worth it. Good luck.

[philicity95]

Well you obviously are having a hard time with him so you also don't like him any more is that right? At first stop talking to him for a while and then stop taking his phone calls which means ignoring him then he's going to get really pissed at you and probably ask you why your doing this kind of stuff and then you should tell him why you are! Then do it break up with him!

[N0help4u]

[QUOTE=duzemonkey;1437296]
Hes my first boyfriend so everything was new and exciting in the beginning.
That is the way it is for awhile in the beginning of any relationship.

But for a while now Ive been getting annoyed with him for a lot of things.
These are signs that he is not right for you. Even if you are getting annoyed because you are letting things about him bother you and it isn't his fault it still is a sign that it is most probably not going to work out

He gets really jelous over my best friend (but not around guys) . He doesn't like it when me and her hang out.
Jealousy is most often a control issue. He is trying to control you when he doesn't want you to have a friend.

He also doesn't know me very well. He thinks I'm quite and don't like attention, but I'm the opposite.
This shows you are giving him a wrong impression of who you are and very probably because he makes you feel like you have to live up to HIS expectations. -Again he is controlling YOU.

And whenever I'm around him I always think too much about what I'm going to do or say, it could be that I'm nervous around him.
Again he is stifling YOUR personality. The same thing happens when a guy is critical you end up feeling like you are walking on egg shells and have to watch every little things you say and do so he doesn't get upset.

Also, he always tries to give me money. It gets really annoying. Its like he's trying to make himself look good in front of my friends by paying for me. But after I say no 5 times he still wants to pay for me.
There is nothing wrong with him paying for you but if he is doing it to show off or buy your love then it is not good.

I tried to breakup with him about a month ago but he came to my house to convinced me not to. He said he liked it when I cry (cause I put my head on his shoulder) and I told him that he's the one that's making cry. He doesn't understand that I'm unhappy.
Yes and he will keep doing that to string you along!

Its like he's selfish.
BING0

We don't really talk about serious stuff, like our relationship, but when we do he says all this stuff like he loves me but it seems like he's just saying it without the meaning.
Start being yourself around him and insisting on talking about serious stuff. Ask him what love means to him. Ask him what he expects out of a good relationship.

But I do like the cuddling, kissing, and holding hands.
Find it with somebody else once you are free and clear of him. You are just leading him on and making it easier for him to have a hold over you when you allow him to be affectionate.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to break up with him and make it final, I need help.
Start being who YOU are and stop trying to live up to what he expects of you. Get up nerve to tell him how you feel instead of keeping it inside. Maybe he won't like the new you and break up with you. If not you need to find a way.

[duzemonkey]

Thank you guys for your advice. It's really helped. And so you know I did break up with him. And I feel happier. :)