[mlmiller5]

Hey, I have a guy problem. I have a guy friend who I met last year in college that I didn't really like at first. Then, we started hanging out more this year. Still, for about a month, I didn't feel anything for him. Then, just about 2 weeks ago, I realized that I have feelings for him. The problem is, I'm afraid to tell him because: One, I don't want it to ruin our friendship if he doesn't feel the same. Two, he has a girlfriend that he has been dating for around 3 or 4 years. Three, I have been rejected a few times before, so apparently I'm going about it all wrong. Anyway, I don't exactly want him and his girlfriend to break up because that would hurt both of them. I'm trying to ignore my feelings, but it's not working. Usually, I'm the one that makes an effort to hang out, but there have been times when he invited me to do something with him. I have wanted to tell him, but I'm not sure that I can. I guess he seems happy with his girlfriend, but he doesn't talk about her much. They don't seem that close... but maybe that's what happens when you date someone for so long. I guess I just don't know if I should keep trying to forget about how I feel or let him know. :confused:

[Clough]

Hi, mlmiller5!

If you have a good dialogue relationship with the guy, then I would suggest discussing how you feel about him with him. People can love each other and still be friends. Maybe there is a future there for the two of you as a couple? I don't know. But, you won't know until you have a knowledge and feeling as to the way that he is also thinking and feeling.

I wouldn't be too direct with bringing up how you feel about him to him, but maybe do it in a way that would let him know that you do care about him a lot, and then see what the reaction and/or response from him that you do get.

If he doesn't talk much about his girlfriend, it could be for any number of reasons that he doesn't talk about her much. It could be about respect for her privacy or, in the extreme, that maybe things aren't going the greatest between the two of them.

We only live once, and you will never know until you try. People might try to have a relationship with quite a few people before they arrive at the perfect "fit" with the one who will be just right for them.

[asking]

I don't think you were ever "just friends," from what you say. You have been pursuing him for some time even though he already has a girlfriend. He could be getting along fine with her except for the fact that he's seeing you. He could not be talking about her because he knows in his heart that you two are more than just friends and feels guilty about stringing both you and his girlfriend along. Plus, he doesn't want to spoil his time with you by talking about her. I am betting he doesn't tell her much about you...

Just a different perspective.

[plonak]

Ok I honestly don't think you should do anything about this.. he is taken.. don't be a home wrecker...

If you feel like it's a problem.. stop seeing him so much and don't put yourself in tempting situations.

[SimpleguyJoe]

I was in the middle of writing a lengthy reply but then my internet crashed... So ill keep this one short and sweet.

You really need to just put your feelings for him on a back burner for now because you really have no idea how he feels about his current GF. If things are running smoothly between them there is no reason for you to go in there and ruin what they have. On the other hand if things are on ice with them be a good friend for him and help him through if he needs a friend. Eventually if they break up, THEN and only then after he heals from his loss would I recommend taking your feelings for him off simmer.

I think you might need to find out some more on how things are doing with his girlfriend before you even think about making a move.