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    jj890's Avatar
    jj890 Posts: 57, Reputation: 1
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    #21

    Oct 12, 2008, 10:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by chuff View Post



    Christmas is still 10 weeks away. That is 5 times longer then you've known her and you are communicating from a distance. Furthermore, most women don't like a lot of love letters because it means the guy is a wuss and women are not attracted to wussy behavior.


    But she sent the letter first and I asked if she wanted me to send one back and she said yes...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #22

    Oct 12, 2008, 11:23 AM
    I think the point chuff is making is, be more thoughtful with your actions, and pay attention to see if her actions, match her words.

    Your both young, and caught up in feelings, and should think before you talk, or act. So you don't get carried away by the emotions, and feelings, those words stir up!!!.

    You have to admit, you sure fell in deep, very fast, and though it feels great now, will it last another two weeks?? Let alone... forever??
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #23

    Oct 12, 2008, 11:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by rodie151 View Post
    Need more info really...if you are already questioning how faithful she is, well, not much hope really. You know best though. One thing for sure is that if you are going to be apart for that long you have to trust her or else it's just hopeless. I have a website that offers relationship advice, it might help.

    Relationships, Get Them Right And You Can’t Go Wrong

    Good luck
    Actually there is enough info here, I think you actually have to read the 3 pages worth to see it, instead of making a general post with the intent of posting a link to your website.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #24

    Oct 12, 2008, 11:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jj890 View Post
    But she sent the letter first and I asked if she wanted me to send one back and she said yes...

    This is exactly my point. You don't ask her for permission to write a letter back. You do it because you're a good guy and in control. She's in control of you and your emotions right now. She tells you to do something and you do exactly as she wants. Furthermore, if she writes you a letter you thank her... don't match her action for action. You are thinking you have to do exactly what she does to keep this up. You are almost becoming someone else, instead I'm saying be comfortable with yourself and not worry about what she thinks.
    jj890's Avatar
    jj890 Posts: 57, Reputation: 1
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    #25

    Oct 13, 2008, 01:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chuff View Post
    This is exactly my point. You don't ask her for permission to write a letter back. You do it because your a good guy and in control. She's in control of you and your emotions right now. She tells you to do something and you do exactly as she wants. Furthermore, if she writes you a letter you thank her.....don't match her action for action. You are thinking you have to do exactly what she does to keep this up. You are almost becoming someone else, instead I'm saying be comfortable with yourself and not worry about what she thinks.
    Well, She made me a picture and I showed my sister once and asked if Nicole[My GF] if she was going to send it up to me, so I asked Nicole if she could and she said she would so then I gave her my stuff and she sent it, So yea, But you said she was in control I usually tell her to do things and she listens.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #26

    Oct 13, 2008, 03:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jj890 View Post
    Well, She made me a picture and I showed my sister once and asked if Nicole[My GF] if she was going to send it up to me, so I asked Nicole if she could and she said she would so then I gave her my stuff and she sent it, So yea, But you said she was in control I usually tell her to do things and she listens.
    When I said in control, I met be in control of yourself and your emotions so she can't manipulate you. I don't mean control her, I just mean don't let her control you. JJ, I'm not saying don't see this woman, just don't plan a life around her at this point, and that point should be years from now. You sound very young and I think you SHOULD be dating the woman but with the knowledge two weeks does not equal a lifetime. Another reason you should date her is because you need to get some dating experience so that as time passes you can evaluate what's working and what isn't. Sometimes that knowledge doesn't come until after the relationship is over because when your in a highly emotional state and you can't understand what's going on when it happens but it's clear as day when it's over. Sometimes it's easy for others to see what's going on from the outside because love blinds you. That is my point, I'm not saying do not date her, I'm not even saying she's a bad catch, but I am saying don't forget that you are number 1, don't forget that you deserve to be treated with respect, and don't get so caught up in her that you lose sight of who you are.
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #27

    Oct 13, 2008, 03:48 PM

    O chuff how I love you so!

    Tali also makes good points.

    But as ever, spread the rep!

    On a side note I almost made the same mistake twice, it is difficult to fall into the trap of a one sided relationship. Keep your wits at all times, keep it cool and fun. Dude your way to into this, get a 'life' before its to late and she sails into the sunset
    cheyanne32690's Avatar
    cheyanne32690 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #28

    Oct 13, 2008, 03:57 PM

    I think that if you have strong feelings for her and she feels the same way why not be together wouldn't it be better to be together instead of w/o her?
    jj890's Avatar
    jj890 Posts: 57, Reputation: 1
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    #29

    Oct 13, 2008, 06:10 PM

    Okay but like Chuff,
    Have you ever thought that all girls aren't the same?
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #30

    Oct 13, 2008, 07:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jj890 View Post
    Okay but like Chuff,
    Have you ever thought that all girls arent the same?
    Sure they all have different personalities, different backgrounds, and different lives they've lead. But don't you think that if you and I studied the African elephant would would find similar traits when it comes to the female picking males for mating? Well, human beings are the same way, woman who seek out mates based those qualities that benefit them. They also use what they have to test men out, and that is there understanding of emotions and how they can use them to their benefit.

    Furthermore, even if she means everything she says... and I'm not saying she doesn't, I'm just saying be aware of what you could be setting yourself up for. But even if she means everything she says don't you owe it to yourself to not get caught up after two weeks? You must know something isn't right about this because you are the one that came here and posted your OP with the title "Can I trust her? or just let go."
    High Max's Avatar
    High Max Posts: 271, Reputation: 43
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    #31

    Oct 13, 2008, 08:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chuff View Post
    Sure they all have different personalities, different backgrounds, and different lives they've lead. But don't you think that if you and I studied the African elephant would would find similar traits when it comes to the female picking males for mating? Well, human beings are the same way, woman who seek out mates based those qualities that benefit them. They also use what they have to test men out, and that is there understanding of emotions and how they can use them to their benefit.

    Furthermore, even if she means everything she says......and I'm not saying she doesn't, I'm just saying be aware of what you could be setting yourself up for. But even if she means everything she says don't you owe it to yourself to not get caught up after two weeks? You must know something isn't right about this because you are the one that came here and posted your OP with the title "Can I trust her? or just let go."
    I'd spread some rep but I already gave you some, won't let me. :P

    Honestly, I've read almost all of this guys posts and I think that after his experiences that he
    "gets it" so listen to what he's telling you, I believe he is 100% correct.

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