Ask Me Help Desk - Can I trust her? Or just let go.

Can I trust her? Or just let go.

I would just like to say thank you for reading if you do.

Well,
I've been with this girl for about two weeks now, but I keep wondering about if her age will become a problem. We are in a long distance relationship but we talk every second of the day. She says that she loves me more than anything in the world, and that I always make her smile in anyway, I was the happiest thing that has ever happened to her and she said that she wanted to be with me forever and didn't want me to let her go. My love for her has became very strong and I've just been thinking about her age and the distance between us. I don't even know if she could or could not be cheating. She is a freshman in college and I am in 11th grade.. When she turns 20 she will have about 2 more years of college left, and I will be 18 in 12th grade. But I will still have to go through college, I do believe that we can last a lifetime. But as we get older I just feel that she will loose feeling for me and my age will be a problem to her.. but I love her so much. She isn't an ordinary girl you meet, she is amazing, loving, caring, shy, funny, sweet, very nice, and there's so much more I could say about her but its just too much. I love her, I would cry for her..

But my question is..

Should I stay with her and see where it goes or should I just not take the chance with her and be single..

You've only been together two weeks. Just see how things go. Long distance relationships are a lot of work though, so if you decide to stay together be prepared.

Help us out here...

Where did you meet?
When did you kiss her the first time?
How often will you two be able to physically date?
How much time have you spent face to face so far? (no computers)

Please answer all the questions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Help us out here....

Where did you meet?
When did you kiss her the first time?
How often will you two be able to physically date?
How much time have you spent face to face so far? (no computers)
Please answer all the questions.

Mall

When did you kiss her the first time?

Second day I was dating her.

How often will you two be able to physically date?

Probably we will be able to see each other Christmas break.

How much time have you spent face to face so far? (no computers)

A week.

Then in all honesty, what you have is a strong attraction to a person who will be a pen pal. Rather than discourage you from this, I will encourage you to NOT make each other miserable.

Your age difference now is of greater concern than it would be 3 years from now. You are in completely different life-stages and her environment is FAR more "grownup" than you may want to realize.

Since you two can't see each other in any sort of real dating way, then make the most of your digital connection. I strongly suggest you do not attach titles of any kind to one another. The chances of something happening to each of you in your respective environments is very high. It would be good if, when that happens, you don't end up hating each other over it. It's natural that something WOULD happen to one or both of you. It's normal.

If your friendship can remain strong over the next few years, regardless of whom you date in the meantime, it is entirely possible that you two can make a real connection when you find yourselves finally in the same geography and life-stage.

Basically, the more "official" you try to pursue this LD relationship, the more likely you'll end up miserable and lose any chance of being together in the future when it would make sense.

You've known her two weeks and are making lifetime plans?

ITS JUST 2 WEEKS: There's still a lot more to discover. As of the moment all you feel is "magic" and ecstasy. As the relationship progress, you will discover more. All separation/divorces started that way

YOU ARE BOTH YOUNG: Change is part of growing up so you are long way to go before branding your relationship as "lifetime"

LONG DISTANCE. It's hard to sustain a reelationship with distance involves. Relationship needs physical togetherness for better judgement.

So to your question: "Should I stay with her and see where it goes or should I just not take the chance with her and be single."

Yes but just keep things realistic. Just make this as an inspiration not as a distraction in studies. Be good in anything you do. Excel. Soar. Make a name.

Ten years from now, if that love is really "for lifetime" you will still end up together no matter what.

Your rushing head first into a brick wall here, buddy.

Your letting those intense feelings get you carried away, and unless you slow down, and think more with your brain, instead of strange feelings, you will be in a lot of misery and pain.

Trust me, that ain't no fun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

You've known her two weeks and are making lifetime plans?

Yea..

I think you guys are too young. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by jj890

Yea..

Don't you think there is something wrong with that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Don't you think there is something wrong with that?

Not really,

Quote:

Originally Posted by jj890

Not really,

Perhaps you could explain in detail why you are making lifetime plans for someone you've known 14 days.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Perhaps you could explain in detail why you are making lifetime plans for someone you've known 14 days.

Well I could, But I don't know how.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jj890

Well I could, But I dont know how.

... Okay, I am not sure what you mean by that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

....Okay, I am not sure what you mean by that?

I just love her. She makes me feel like the happiest man alive..

Quote:

Originally Posted by jj890

I just love her. She makes me feel like the happiest man alive..

Okay, now we are getting somewhere. First let me just say what you love is the excitement of everything that is new with her... but not actually her. Not that you can't or won't but you are confusing two "loves." Second, while you can be way more into a girl then she is into you... NEVER tell her that up front... or ever really, but especially up front. Girls need to feel comfortable around you and if you start telling her your making lifetime plans that is going to scare her away that moment. Third, you have to find something that makes you happy besides her because even if you have lifetime plans, she can cruise at any moment. You have to have your own identity outside of hers or yours.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Second, while you can be way more into a girl then she is into you......NEVER tell her that up front....or ever really, but especially up front. Girls need to feel comfortable around you and if you start telling her your making lifetime plans that is going to scare her away that moment.

But she says the same thing too... Like when we talk on webcam.. Idk it just feels like everything is right. We send letters back and fourth to each other through mail and christmas I will be able to see her. She tell me the same things I tell her, that she wants to be with my forever and all that stuff..

JJ, please... PLEASE learn this lesson while you are still young. Women behave in a certain way with certain men. Women understand, use, trust, and communicate on a emotional level. Women use emotions and put people into different categories, such as stalker, friend, lover, relationship material. The bad news is they do it constantly. The good news is you can learn to pay attention to what's going on and speak back to them the way they want.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jj890

But she says the same thing too... Like when we talk on webcam..

JJ if you have a woman telling you after a couple weeks that she loves you and she wants to spend the rest of her life with you, she is more then likely testing you and seeing what she can get from you. This kind of behavior would scare the hell out of most women... most men for that matter as well. Instead, she's playing right along, and she's doing it from a distance so you can't even get a real feel for her intentions. It comes off like she's setting you up to get a big gift or have somebody to hook up with on Christmas break.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jj890

Idk it just feels like everything is right.

Everybody feels that way after two weeks. Your brain is literally releasing chemicals to make you feel that way, but the fact is it has been 2 weeks. People have gone out with other people for years and then broke up, but in the first 2 weeks everything was great.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jj890

We send letters back and fourth to each other through mail and christmas I will be able to see her.

Christmas is still 10 weeks away. That is 5 times longer then you've known her and you are communicating from a distance. Furthermore, most women don't like a lot of love letters because it means the guy is a wuss and women are not attracted to wussy behavior.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jj890

She tell me the same things I tell her, that she wants to be with my forever and all that stuff..

Women will tell you whatever you want to hear if she thinks she can manipulate you. It's part of how they weed out weak guys from strong guys. Are you acting strong when you tell her that you love and want to spend your life with her after 2 weeks. That brings up the other point that women like a challenge. If you are committing yourself to them after 2 weeks how is that going to keep her interested? The challenge is gone, you are available at a moment's notice.

Need more info really... if you are already questioning how faithful she is, well, not much hope really. You know best though. One thing for sure is that if you are going to be apart for that long you have to trust her or else it's just hopeless. I have a website that offers relationship advice, it might help.

Relationships, Get Them Right And You Can’t Go Wrong

Good luck