[redwee74]

Hey,
Just wanted some opinions on this. I believe they can not because of past feelings that never really get complete gone but lets hear what some of you all have to say.
Can ex-couples really be friends after a break-up? I am not talking about years down the road I am talking the first couple of years after the relationship.

[Synnen]

I think so, but then I was friends with most of my exes BEFORE we dated.

There needed to be a time where we were NOT around each other, and NOT talking before we could be friends, but after 6 months to a year, I could hang out with most of my exes again.

Heck, my husband has a great picture of his bachelor party that I absolutely love. In the picture are FOUR of my exes, that he is now friends with as well!

[jumpin0503]

I feel its like you say, only if you can get rid of your feelings for the other person and both people are on the same page/feelings about each other. If you/your partner aren't entirely over your ex, that person will likely bring back the feelings for them and have to start all over in recovery, a process I feel most would preferably like to avoid if possible.

[JBeaucaire]

Healthy people can, yes. Most people aren't that emotionally healthy, so for most people, the answer is no.

[talaniman]

After you have healed, and gotten healthy, and realistic, why not? If your still feeling for them, or they you, friends is not a good idea.

[ISneezeFunny]

I think it also depends on HOW the breakup occurred.

I am friends with two of my exes...

One of them, we dated for 3 years in high school, went to the same college (not by choice), broke up, and then reconnected as friends after a year.

The other one, we amicably broke up, then became friends after about 3 months.

However, my last one... dumped me during finals week, claiming she needed time, when in fact, she found someone new to replace me with after a week. It's been a year or so, and I still, to this day, don't really trust her as a human being, much less a friend.

[cantbelieveit]

I've been wondering the same thing. Good question! I like to think ex's can be friends but I agree with others here, if one still has feelings for the other it will make it too hard to be "just friends". I'm going through the ups and downs of recovery stage and would like to see the day where I am able to be friends and feel OK about everything. Really does depend on the How and Why of the situation.

[cowboyjai]

I was friends before I dated my ex but I was always attracted to her and she knew this from the get go. After we got together and hearing I was "the one" for 3 years I'm not sure when, if ever, I will be OK going back to being friends with her. It seems like a grand joke when I think about it.

[Clough]

Excellent answers above! I would just like to add that, if we're talking about a short period here after a break-up, and you're still really attracted to the person, then I would have to say that no, it's probably not going to happen as far as being friends.

Now, you didn't want to really know about the long run of things, but, I think that it might be appropriate here. My ex and I were divorced over twenty years ago. Were we "friends" right away? Heck no. Are we friends now? Yes. Do we "hang out" with each other? No. Can we be civil with each other and care mutually about others in the "family" that was once connected because of the marriage? Absolutely!

[hungtoronto]

I got a few exes but I was never able to become friends with them. There are two of them that call me once in a while and talk to see how I am doing and that was it.

I was never able to be closed to them yet no matter how lonely I am. Because I think it may bring back old memory and problem which cause more heartache in the long run.

The only reason trying to be friends is that if I want to try to get back with them. So it's not really trying to be friends but trying to get back together.