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12421952 · Sep 21, 2008, 09:23 AM

I work in retail.. not happy with it.. my broken heart is killing my motivation..

So this morning she texts me super early asking how I am, I replied good and you, I told her my battery was about to die, hoping she would become curious why I couldn't just plug it in "its 7am and hes not at home where could he be??" so bam bam bam text after text I set my space to private (and we haven't been on eachothers "friends" list for ages so she couldn't see inside, just that I had changed my little message that everybody can see saying "finially back on track!" she asked me what it meant but I stopped repling there.. too much bs talking about nothing.. don't want her feeling comfortable as the NC has indeed made her come after me.. I replied a few hours later that our home team is playing on TV at 2 and she replied "i wish i had sombody to watch it with : (" and I'm going to just leave it at that..

Any advice on this??

liz28 · Sep 21, 2008, 09:29 AM

I don't understand how is it that you want someone back so bad that you will want to play childish games by making her jealous, it makes no sense. You need to really grow up and stop it. That's wrong! If you want her back so bad you don't make her jealous you would do the total opposite.

12421952 · Sep 21, 2008, 12:41 PM

I guess I need to head over to a teenager breakup forum.. I appreciate all the suggestions from everybody and understand that I should be focusing on myself right now, but all that I am asking for is how to make sense out of the small talk I get from her and how to use it to ger her back in my arms...

12421952 · Sep 21, 2008, 12:57 PM

For anybody that wants to continue to help here..

Update:

Around noon she textd me what was I up to, told her I was on my way to the beach.. she said like before "i wish i had sombody to pick me up and take me to the beach"

U turn! I hopped on our expressway towards her aunts place and said I'm on my way! I really couldn't resist any longer.. she replied "but im super horney, and you look too good!" man she knocked the wall I had build right over.. I refrained from any sexual talk and asked if she would come with me to the beach.. she then said "im really lonely, but i still have such strong feelings for you", "i can't go to the beach without you, can't go to the gym without you, i can't do anything without you!, i am so confused what to do about us, and i can't see you right now...."

Man do I feel played for her to see if I was still there, I had done such a good job of acting like I didn't care that we broke up and was doing well on my own... I guess it did speed her up from "sorry we can't be togther ever again" to being confused if she really does want to go?

Help!

liz28 · Sep 21, 2008, 01:00 PM

You got advice. To make things simple stop pushing her away by making her jealous. If she calls and you see that she is calling why ignore the call then call her back 3-4 hours and imply something else to push her buttons, that's chidish. Maybe a teenage forum will help you because I am 28 and don't play those games. That isn't how you win someone back.

talaniman · Sep 21, 2008, 01:12 PM

I guess I need to head over to a teenager breakup forum..

That's a great idea. They will be amused by the childish antics of two adults. What your doing now is wrong, and stupid!

Why can't you see that adults don't do what your doing.

12421952 · Sep 21, 2008, 01:16 PM

Honesly liz, I wish I could just sit down and talk to her, that would be my preferred approach, but in this situation it doesn't work with her.. she is the one who wants to play games, so being that I want to get her back, I must play her games, but beat her at them.. if you gogle any variation of 'how to get your ex back' you will find that the no contact thing is the most praised, and to tell you the truth I was always the initiator and if I didn't my girl would freak out because she was used to it, but when I agreed we wernt meant to be and really made myself look and feel separated from her she won't leave me alone, I know its evil to want to make sombody jelous, but if you know that your ready to change and they don't why not use it? Especially if it's the only thing you have really seen to be effective and with sombody you have been in love with since the relationship first started..

12421952 · Sep 21, 2008, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Thats a great idea. They will be amused by the childish antics of two adults. What your doing now is wrong, and stupid!!

Why can't you see that adults don't do what your doing.

Remember my reason for coming here was to find support to get my ex baxk, not to give up and work onmyself for a better future.

liz28 · Sep 21, 2008, 01:30 PM

First your both are playing games with each other and how long do you want this game to continue?

Secondly, if she's unwilling to communicate with you how can your have a healthy relationship. This is why your keep breaking up and getting back together. Luckily your aren't married.

Lastly, if you don't want her in your life why play these games. She can't make you get with her it's your choice.
That's why is was suggested for you to step back and clear your head. Think with your head and not your heart and open your eyes and see things for what there really are. Remember communication is a key to a relationship and is a main component.

Ash123 · Sep 21, 2008, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by 12421952

i work in retail.. not happy with it.. my broken heart is killing my motivation..

so this morning she texts me super early asking how i am, i replied good and you, i told her my battery was about to die, hoping she would become curious why i couldnt just plug it in "its 7am and hes not at home where could he be??" so bam bam bam text after text i set my space to private (and we havnt been on eachothers "friends" list for ages so she couldnt see inside, just that i had changed my little message that everybody can see saying "finially back on track!" she asked me what it meant but i stopped repling there.. too much bs talking about nothing.. dont want her feeling comfortable as the NC has indeed made her come after me.. i replied a few hours later that our home team is playing on tv at 2 and she replied "i wish i had sombody to watch it with : (" and im going to just leave it at that..

any advice on this???

OK, this is the bottom line here:

1. You need conseling. You are in a job with limnited opportunity for advancement.
2. You drink to feel numb.
3. Your girlfriend USES breakups to make you listen: stop drinking, be responsible, pay more attention to her, repeat.
4. You said you thought you would get another girl soon, if you broke up. This says to me you HAVE to have a locked in sex partner or you are not able to survive.
5. This relationship has NO future. You all are a toxic cocktail. This could go on forever.
6. By now you have either had sex again with her or planned sex. That puts your break-up at exactly

Ash123 · Sep 21, 2008, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by 12421952

i work in retail.. not happy with it.. my broken heart is killing my motivation..

so this morning she texts me super early asking how i am, i replied good and you, i told her my battery was about to die, hoping she would become curious why i couldnt just plug it in "its 7am and hes not at home where could he be??" so bam bam bam text after text i set my space to private (and we havnt been on eachothers "friends" list for ages so she couldnt see inside, just that i had changed my little message that everybody can see saying "finially back on track!" she asked me what it meant but i stopped repling there.. too much bs talking about nothing.. dont want her feeling comfortable as the NC has indeed made her come after me.. i replied a few hours later that our home team is playing on tv at 2 and she replied "i wish i had sombody to watch it with : (" and im going to just leave it at that..

any advice on this???

OK, this is the bottom line here:

1. You need counseling. Your life is in a spin cycle.
2. You drink to feel numb. (And you are in a job with limited opportunity for advancement, which doesn't help)
3. Your girlfriend USES breakups to make you listen: stop drinking, be responsible, pay more attention to her, repeat. But they have no other purpose.
4. You said you thought you would get another girl soon, if you broke up. This says to me you HAVE to have a locked in sex partner or you are not able to survive.
5. This relationship has NO future. You all are a toxic cocktail. This could go on forever.
6. By now you have either had sex again with her or planned sex. That puts your break-up at no more than a couple weeks.

A LOT of people spent time trying to sort you out (including me) but you have ignored it all because you are addicted to a totally dyfunctional relationship wth no future.

The only positive thing I've seen here is that you are clear-headed enough to admit you drink to de-sensitize.

So, WHY do you need to de-sensitize? That may reveal one bit of truth here.
.