[Tizzle11]

Well, this gets a little complicated. I am now 25 years old. This girl and I dated for a while (a little over a year) about 4 years ago. She broke it off by getting back with her old boyfriend. But we have kept contact since, talking often, hanging out often. She is in and out of relationships, does not want to get back with me, but does not want to lose me either. She still gets really jealous when I see other people, but does not want to commit to me and me only. The obvious answer here would be... "don't talk to her anymore". But it is a little harder than this. I consider myself to be too nice of a guy. She doesn't have many friends, she has some issues she has not dealt with properly, and sometimes I think I'm the only one she can talk to. On top of this, her family loves me! I actually golf with her dad every weekend (he tells me to ditch her), and the rest of her family loves me and I think they are all great. I will not cut off these ties with her family because they are now considered some of my best friends. I have tried forcing her into making a decision... me... or these other losers she has dated for the past few years. She says we will end up together, which is stupid because if that were true, there would be no reason not to be together now. I feel really bad for her, but at the same time she is bringing me down. I love her, she is beautiful, but if things don't change, it will never work. Do I step up and force her to make a decision immediately? I can't just be friends, because she has proven that she can't handle me seeing other girls. What do I do? She is a huge part of my life, and letting her go completely is easier said than done... how do I tell her to make a decision?? Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks...

[hjpan]

BRO! LISTEN TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING!!!

She DOES NOT LOVE YOU... All she is doing is PUT YOU ON REBOUND!!

Let go of this worthless girl!
Friends or no friends... doesn't matter!!!

You're not happy being her garbage can... she goes to her old boyfriends... fuqs... argument arises... runs to you to vent... then walks off again

[friend4u178]

Do you really want to be her backup. Just let it go and see other people. If she has issues with that its HER problem , not YOURS.

Even her father can see it.

[tolfaen]

Hmm this is tricky. But it sounds like she is very insecure, and that's why she can't stay in a relationship but also gets jealous of you dating other girls. I think she needs counseling or something to deal with those issues. But that is not your responsibility to oversee. You need to tell her straight up - you care about her, but, she is using and abusing you, and you don't deserve it and won't stand for it anymore.

[liz28]

Forcing her to make a decision won't any of her issues. You already stated that she don't want to commit to you. So what if she dating losers, she must like them. I guess she wants you to sit and around and wait for her, don't. You deserve someone that wants you and only you not you and Tom or Jerry or who else catches her attention at the time. Start a new leaf and you need to get over because it sounds like has. Don't let her have her cake and eat it too and cause you any pain. Also, who stated you've to be friends with her?

[CdninQ8]

Read what you posted, out loud. After you've done that, imagine what you would tell your best friend in the same position... then do it. Counseling might not be a bad idea either. Good luck.

[Tizzle11]

You are all absolutely right. It's much nicer hearing from a variety of different people. Especially ones I don't even know. I appreciate all your help. It took way too long, but I am going to learn from this 4-year mistake. Thanks

[ylaira]

The only way for you to move on is to not talk to her anymore, find other girls and not talk to her family as you used to. If you can't do these things, you'll be in the same rut after 10 years. Then don't ask why. You chose it. You refused change.