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    perfectlyhappy's Avatar
    perfectlyhappy Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Jan 26, 2008, 04:52 PM
    Feel like his not making an effort.
    So I've been dating Jeremy for over 5 months now and we have been a Distant relationship from the get go. We met over the summer at work and he got transferred and moved soon after... we see each other 3 to 4 times a month due to scheduling but the good thing is that we only live a little bit over an hour from each other. However, I have very thin skin and he is very apathtic, so we tend not to see eye to eye on things but we always just agree to disagree... we haven't had any big fights just little tiffs... however, a couple months back I got nosy and read some of his past blogs about his last girlfriend... and he did all sorts of sweet things for her... yet it's a good day when I can get him to say something sweet such as you look beautiful. I am usually the person that drives to see him. He does have a full time job but I work almost 35 hours a week while going to classes... it seems I'm always the one that makes the effort to see him, he tells me he wouldn't be in this if he didn't want it to work but sometimes I just wonder how committed he is to this... I just feel like he would treat me at least somewhere close to how he treated his ex... especailly since they were only together for 5 months as well... I feel like I deserve better... and I think the reason he isn't giving me better is because he thinks I like him too much... but I'm starting to think he might not care. But then again he calls everyday and makes an effort to make sure I'm OK... so then I start to feel like maybe he's just not the mush type and just doesn't really know how to handle being in a relationship... I haven't quite figured it out??
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #2

    Jan 26, 2008, 05:35 PM
    so then I start to feel like maybe he's just not the mush type and just doesn't really know how to handle being in a relationship.
    This is probably your answer right here. I really don't think you have much to worry about.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 26, 2008, 06:28 PM
    LDR's for new couples is the pits, as it hinders having fun, and getting to really know each other. Yes this is still a very new relationship, and the pressure, and expectations, are very hard to deal with. LDR's are more for those with long term commitments, as the two of you don't really know one another that well, and can only assume what is in the heart of the other. Another thing you need to be aware of is you expecting him to show you, as much if not more, as he did his ex, which is so unfair on your part, to compare yourself to his ex, as an indication on how he feels. I think you need a lot more patience, and more communications, as far as who does what to be together, as you can't be expected to do all the driving back and forth, so communicate honestly, and always express your feelings, so he knows the facts, and don't make assumptions or comparisons. Good Luck, I hope you both can work together.

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