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openpetal · Aug 25, 2008, 09:15 PM

Hi,
I am not sure if I should ask with this topic or real estate. Long story short, husband and I got into an ugly, trivial argument. 5 days ago, I prayed and then I confessed to my husband that I aborted our baby back in feb.because of a violent argument he had with me. My reasons for what I did at that moment I felt was valid. I regretted of course. Tomorrow we planned to drive to GA to close on a mortgage. I am the borrower and he would be the co-borrower. He argued and said he wanted out on everything including the marriage. Being that the lenders are going off my income alone, can I still close on this deal without him or must he be present to sign? I can handle the bills by my lonesome, I've done it for the past 2 years. Am I making a wise decision to close on a 30 year mortgage alone? Will they allow this to happen without him? Thank u for your insight, wisdom and compassion.

Sadly,
Openpetal

P.S. here is my dirty laundry and his. He moved into my home because his living conditions were horrible. I took hm in and he is a great cook (I gained 30 lbs.), he is a cleanaholic. He argues with my chldren when they slack on their chores. We all are trying to conform to his clean ways which is good but understand chldren will be messy at times. He lost his job in June and I am getting frustrated with paying all his bills, his debts and his beer drinking habits. I fantasize on being alone again. I wasn't lonely, he was the one who couldn't cope with his loneliness. A major part of me can do without the drama, the arguments and I can live without his "good" cooking. I do want a divorce but I am scared he will get vindictive and do some sort of harm to me. He has a history where people in the neighborhood respect and fear him. I also have a history of calling 911, I told him. What is the first step to getting a divorce? I just want to quietly move me and my family out of the house without him knowing. It's quite impossible because he is on me like white on rice. It would've been easier if he was going to work. Next month, I plan to pay only my bills and credit cards. I refuse to help him with his bills. I want out. His first wife abandoned him and moved to Japan 9 years ago. I need that courage. Help. Thank you

jjwoodhull · Aug 25, 2008, 09:42 PM

First, glad you are getting out of a marriage that can be characterized as violent. If the loan is based on your income alone, then you will still qualify. Only you know if you can truly afford it.

openpetal · Aug 27, 2008, 10:08 PM

Hi,
Hubby and I made up and we are here in GA.tomorrow is the closing to our first home together. I hope I am making the right decision on a 200,000 loan. A manufactured double wide home with 12 acres of land. I will be the primary. My husband will be the co-borrower. They are using only my income on this loan. Tomorrow is the deadline. I don't quite understand fully how this all works. Am I getting the short end of the stick here or should I back out of the deal?

Ps God forbid we get into another argument or separate, who can kick who out of the house? If divorce comes into play, what happens with the house and land, I am solely paying for?

George_1950 · Aug 28, 2008, 05:52 AM

[QUOTE=openpetal]Hi,
I hope I am making the right decision on a 200,000 loan. A manufactured double wide home with 12 acres of land. I will be the primary. My husband will be the co-borrower. They are using only my income on this loan. Tomorrow is the deadline. I don't quite understand fully how this all works. Am I getting the short end of the stick here or should I back out of the deal?
QUOTE]
If the lender is using only your income, then you and your husband must have an agreement that your home should be jointly titled, which sounds typical to me. If you do not want him on the title, you had better speak-up quickly. If he is not on the title, the land and home remains marital property and he will have a claim to 'equitable distribution' if and when there is ever a divorce. Just curious: do you want the land and home, or not?

JudyKayTee · Aug 28, 2008, 06:13 AM

Originally Posted by openpetal

Hi,
Hubby and I made up and we are here in GA.tomorrow is the closing to our first home together. I hope I am making the right decision on a 200,000 loan. A manufactured double wide home with 12 acres of land. I will be the primary. My husband will be the co-borrower. They are using only my income on this loan. Tomorrow is the deadline. I don't quite understand fully how this all works. Am I getting the short end of the stick here or should I back out of the deal?

Ps God forbid we get into another argument or separate, who can kick who out of the house? If divorce comes into play, what happens with the house and land, I am solely paying for?

I don't see the income issue as having anything to do with the legal part of this transaction - lots of people only use one income to obtain a mortgage simply to make it process faster. As long as you're both on the loan and Deed it doesn't matter much.

If you own the home together, jointly, and you divorce it will be a marital asset, to be divided.

If you don't want his name on the Deed, now is the time to tell your Attorney.

EDIT: I just saw your other posts. All posts should be combined. It is impossible and unfair to expect anyone to give you advice based on this post, which is about half of the story.

Your posts are contradictory -

JudyKayTee · Aug 28, 2008, 06:17 AM

[QUOTE=George_1950If the lender is using only your income, then you and your husband must have an agreement that your home should be jointly titled, which sounds typical to me. If you do not want him on the title, you had better speak-up quickly. If he is not on the title, the land and home remains marital property and he will have a claim to 'equitable distribution' if and when there is ever a divorce. Just curious: do you want the land and home, or not?[/QUOTE]

Absolutely correct advice based on this thread - but now take a look at the other posts.

ScottGem · Aug 28, 2008, 06:22 AM

I've merged the two threads so people will have the whole story.

On a legal point of view. I would not put him on the deed or as co-borrower. Even though, he may be able to claim a share as marital property, it may make it easier for you if he's not on the deed and loan.

From a relatinship point of view this may also help keep him in line as he may believe his interest in the property is tenuous.

twinkiedooter · Aug 28, 2008, 10:38 AM

If you can have the home and land deeded in your name only without his on any of it - by all means do this as his income is not being used for the loan. This way if it is in your name only you have the say of what goes and it does not become a marital asset subject to division should he decide to divorce you. If he can't show any financial contribution to this deal, then why are you willing to just hand him half for nothing? Please take a moment and think this through before you just add him to everything.