[onthebackburner]

I have been dating this girl for 2.5 years and got engaged. Well, our relationship had been going through the motions for sometime now. She received a letter from her ex-boyfriend of 6 years. He told her that he still had feelings for her. They haven't been together in 5 years. They had a relationship that was, suppossedly, pretty good, until the last year or so. They had a bad break up and she never got closure. Anyway, the last three months she has been thinking about him. Wondering why she still thinks of him here lately and wonders if there is something still there. I recently found all this out. She wanted her space to think. Well, we have been on a break for about 2 weeks. I told her that she can't continue to stay at home alone and just think about it, so I encouraged her to find answers to her problems. They have hung out a time or two and she says that she still doesn't know. I know they kissed and she said she felt nothing. She said she still needs more time. She is supposed to go to a football game with him this weekend and she will be in the car with him alone for the 4.5 hour on the ride there, and the 4.5 hour ride back. Can she find out the answers to her issues with him in that time or is she just wanting to spend more time with him waiting for something to develop. So far, I keep getting, "I need more time". I would not change anything so far because this break has made me realize that I put "I" before "we". This break has also made me realize that I love this girl more than ever. I miss my best friend. So, do I continue to take this punishment and hope that she chooses me or move on? She will drop me a meaningless text message or email every so often and so I am getting mixed signals. What do I need to do?

[Romefalls19]

Are you a moron? You are going to let your (ex)girlfriend go out with an ex-boyfriend and hook up to see if she still has feelings and then if she doesn't she can come back to you with open arms? You think this broad would let you do this? Dude grow a set and walk away from this

[Guidostern]

Hate to be harsh, but man, breaks usually result in break ups. They haven't been together for 5 years... she shouldn't even think about going back to see what is there... sure, she's confused, but it sounds like a bunch of drama for you to deal with... I would just start doing things that you like to do that will keep your mind off it. Read the sticky's at the top of the page... Absence makes the heart grow fonder sometimes, and it's up to you if you want to wait... just don't put yourself through H waiting on her.

[talaniman]

I, for one, wouldn't stay with a female, that had the gall to date her ex, and put me on hold, until she figured it out. So what's your problem? Does that sound sane to you, or respectful? Dissapear from her life, and don't be caught waiting, when she does figure it out.

That she even thought to tell you crap like that, shows what she really thinks of you, and that ain't good.

[Lostinlove]

Dude just do the breaking and make it easy on yourself.

[Ithappenstoall]

I agree with all the above, she is confused but it is still unacceptable to do this. This makes it worst for you because you are hearing wondering what is going and if she will make a decision and come back, or not ! Which is why I would start moving on and just taking of yourself now. She is confused but you are now twice as confused because of her, you do not need that from her. I know it is hard but you have to face this fact.

[HistorianChick]

Why settle for second best? You deserve to be number one in a girl's life... not a if-it-doesn't-work-out-back-burner guy.

Don't settle for this. She has no right to do that to you and expect you to wait for her to figure out if she still has feelings for her ex. You're worth more than that.

Don't you want to be the one guy that makes a girl's dreams come true? The one that she can't get enough of, the one that occupies all her thoughts, becomes her knight in shining armor, is the answer to all her childhood hopes and wishes - the Key Master to her Gate Keeper?

... Because you should be.