[kadensmommy]

I have a 21 month old little boy who's father has denied him up until he was 5 months old. He was not there for my pregnancy nor for the birth. We have been off and on for about 3 years now, and we have decided to end things. About 2 weeks ago he told me he didn't care about our little boy Kaden anymore, therefore a week ago I asked him to sign over his rights. In response he told me "No cause you want it to bad." He has never made an attempt to help out on any of Kaden's bills, he won't even show up when Kaden is sick and in the ER. I want him to sign over his rights but I don't even know where to start...

[N0help4u]

So you go to child support court and get an order of support against him.
Signing over his rights does not make him free of paying child support he still has to do that
AND he can not simply sign away his rights anyway.

[kadensmommy]

But I don't want his money. I don't want anything from him.

[ScottGem]

If you take the time to read some of the hundreds of threads in this forum on this subject, you would have had the answer to your question.

The answer is: forget it. It ain't going to happen. Family courts are VERY relunctant to grant TPRs. Even if he did agree to relinquish his rights the courts won't allow it. Generally a TPR is granted only to clear the way for adoption or if the parent represents a danger to the child. Neither seems to be the case in your situation.

At this point, since he's not exercising his rights you aren't really gaining much. But, again, the courts won't allow it.

[N0help4u]

You still can not sign away fathers rights
If you want nothing from him and you are self sufficient meaning you work and support yourself and he doesn't want to be bothered with him then why not just ignore him?

[Fr_Chuck]

No you can have him sign it on a napkin at a dinner but it is almost impossible to happen, if he was in prison or some theat to the chilid.
But just not visiting or not paying support, or you not wanting him in the child life is not any legal reason to take rights away.

And so you don't want anything, it is not what you want, it is what your child deserves and what your child has a legal right to. Also if latter you receive any benefits from the state most states will go after the bio father for repayment also.

[JudyKayTee]

But I don't want his money. I don't want anything from him.

Then put it in the bank for your child's college education. He deserves to be supported by both parents.

[stinawords]

As already pointed out you it's not going to happen. I really liked judys suggestion of putting the money in the bank for his college fund. Take him to court for support he might actually change his tune and file for visitation as well and if he dosen't the so be it at least you will have the extra income to put toward your child.

[kadensmommy]

Child support means visitations. His father is up his parents and they have already threatened that they will take kaden to mexico when they got a chance. My child looks like them, not me, therefore he goes there it will take hell to get him back and I don't want to risk that. He has another child also with a previous wife, he doesn't pay for that one and he is court ordered so I don't even want to waste my time with that, if he isn't going to pay anyway.

[JudyKayTee]

child support means visitations. His father is up his parents and they have already threatened that they will take kaden to mexico when they got a chance. My child looks like them, not me, therefore he goes there it will take hell to get him back and i dont want to risk that. he has another child also with a previous wife, he doesnt pay for that one and he is court ordered so i don't even want to waste my time with that, if he isnt going to pay anyways.

You don't trade child support for visitation. That's not how it works. You file for support, he (maybe) files for visitation. You tell the Court about the "take him to Mexico" threat. Maybe the Court orders on supervised visitation.

You aren't going to like this but you cannot force a father to relinquish his child nor (in most cases) will the Court allow it.

If "he" is the acknowleged father at the moment he could take the child and go anywhere he wishes. There is no Court ordered custody and you would have a time on your hands getting your son back. You would have to go to Court for a custody hearing in order to get your child back - and in these situations, with no Order to enforce, the Police don't want to hear about it. You are taking a big chance in light of the threats.

Trying to get the child back from Mexico - if the parents are able to leave the Country - would be a nightmare.

You need Court ordered custody - but I know you don't want to do that.

[ABehrens]

Hello, I am in the same situation. I have looked into having my daughter's father sign over his rights. The only way that he can sign over his rights is if the child has another father figure in their life. He would still have to sign them over willingly though. So, if you get married and your husband is willing to adopt your son then you can go to the next step which is seeing if the father will sign them over. A child can not go fatherless. That is what the courts told me in California. You can file for abandonment if the father is absent in the child's life. It has to be over a period though, I believe that it is 3 years. I am not sure of the complete process, because I am trying how to figure it out for my situation. I believe that you would have to post something in the newspaper and if there is no response you can get his rights revoked. I am not sure though. I am still researching how do it without a lawyer. When I find out more about it I will let you know. My daughter's father hasn't paid me for three years now and contacts me once or twice a year when it is convient for him. Don't worry about the child support. I know that it is hard doing it by yourself, but remember that God is there and he will help you when you need it, all you have to do is ask and he will provide a way. What ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Hang in there and when I find out more info about the abandonment thing I will post it for you.

[JudyKayTee]

Hello, I am in the same situation. I have looked into having my daughter's father sign over his rights. The only way that he can sign over his rights is if the child has another father figure in their life. He would still have to sign them over willingly though. So, if you get married and your husband is willing to adopt your son then you can go to the next step which is seeing if the father will sign them over. A child can not go fatherless. That is what the courts told me in California. You can file for abandonment if the father is absent in the childs life. It has to be over a period of time though, I believe that it is 3 years. I am not sure of the complete process, b/c I am trying how to figure it out for my situation. I believe that you would have to post something in the newspaper and if there is no response you can get his rights revoked. I am not sure though. I am still researching how do it without a lawyer. When I find out more about it I will let you know. My daughter's father hasn't paid me for three years now and contacts me once or twice a year when it is convient for him. Don't worry about the child support. I know that it is hard doing it by yourself, but remember that God is there and he will help you when you need it, all you have to do is ask and he will provide a way. What ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Hang in there and when I find out more info about the abandonment thing I will post it for you.

This varies by State - you would have to address the State where OP is located which I don't think has been posted.

You cannot take away parental rights by publishing a notice - you can only do that if all attempts to find an address have failed and then it has to be in Court-recognized newspapers with a certain minimum circulation, by Court order.

[ScottGem]

child support means visitations.

That is not entirely true. All courts separate child support from visitation so one parent doesn't use it as a club over the other. Even though that happens sometimes. Most of the time though, child support is used as a threat to get a parent to relinquish.

Bottomline is still that court will not grant a TPR except under the conditions noted.

[N0help4u]

My guess was she means that in her case if she goes after child support he will go after visitation rights and so she is worried about trying that.

They have already threatened that they will take kaden to mexico when they got a chance.

[smokedetector]

There have been posts in the past about fathers wondering if they can just pay the child support and not do the visitation, which they CAN do, so it might be that when he is ordered to pay child support, (and if he get's regular visitation) he won't even exercise that privilege. Like Judy says, right now he could take your child anywhere he wants. Since you can't get his rights taken away for multiple reasons, your best bet is to go to court to get everything documented. After that, there can be restriction such as you have to approve anywhere the child goes with him out of state, etc. Good luck.

[ScottGem]

My guess was she means that in her case if she goes after child support he will go after visitation rights and so she is worried about trying that.

they have already threatened that they will take kaden to mexico when they got a chance.

That is certainly a possibility. But its not a given that it will be granted.

[stinawords]

Do you have the threats of going to mexico on tape like an answering machine or something? You can use that in court and the judge will be more likely to only grant supervised visits. But as someone already said if you don't have a custody order then it will be next to impossible to get him back on the chance that he is taken to mexico. Also if he is ordered to pay and dosen't for a long period it can show up on his credit.

[ABehrens]

You can't use a tape, if you have one of him saying that he is going to take the baby to Mexico, unless he knows that you were recording him. Just keep that in mind. You can use the answering machine though. Thanks.

[ScottGem]

You can't use a tape, if you have one of him saying that he is going to take the baby to Mexico, unless he knows that you were recording him. Just keep that in mind. You can use the answering machine though. Thanks.

Actually the majority of states allow taping as long as ONE party is aware of the recording.

[danielnoahsmommy]

You don't want his money, but it is not your money it is kadens money and I would enforce child support. It is kadens money