[redAjumper]

I was diagnosed when I was 15... I'm almost 20 now.
I have been diagnosed with a number of things but the big ones are panic/anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. I suppose the fear of everything limits me a lot too.

My up days are awesome, I'm playful, up beat and could take over the world

BUT...
The down days are terrible... lonely, fearful, sick of life
Some days I don't want to take my meds but then I start freaking out then realize I really need them. It would be nice to be more normal and not have to have meds to stay sane

People don't stay around me long, they don't understand why I would do the things I do.. or won't do.

Is anyone else feeling numb... but still in a weird pain? I know I'm not the only one like this and I know there will be another up day coming soon but there will be more down days too... I'm feeling a little hopeless

[Choux]

You just have to face reality... the only way you can live a sane life is living it emotionally *in the middle* not at extremes.

You can get medication that will help you level out your emotional self. Have a therapist help you find a way to be a person who can live a good life without the highs and lows.

Best wishes in the coming year. :)

[J_9]

Sounds to me like you have bipolar disorder. It is necessary that you take your meds on a daily basis. That is, if they work for you. Sometimes it is like finding a needle in a haystack to find the right medication or combination of medications to keep you on an even keel.

[carolyn33bradley]

I was diagnosed when i was 15...I'm almost 20 now.
I have been diagnosed with a number of things but the big ones are panic/anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. i suppose the fear of everything limits me a lot too.

my up days are awesome, I'm playful, up beat and could take over the world

BUT....
the down days are terrible...lonely, fearful, sick of life
some days I don't want to take my meds but then i start freaking out then realize i really need them. It would be nice to be more normal and not have to have meds to stay sane

People don't stay around me long, they don't understand why i would do the things i do..or wont do.

is anyone else feeling numb.....but still in a weird pain?? I know I'm not the only one like this and I know there will be another up day coming soon but there will be more down days too...I'm feeling a little hopeless

I know how you feel I have the up and down days but what you can do is, Try to work out more watch what you eat and take your pills if you have to but out of all of that find a good friend someone you can really talk to,Becoues you don't have to take a pill for avery thing and I am not tell you not to take them if you have to but try new things that can help you talk it out...

[Allheart]

Hi Red,

Oh yes how I understand so very well. You described some of my days, far better then I ever could. Those down days are so hard. Numb but with a deep sadness that weighs you down you don't even want to move.

I have a great deal of anxiety with mild depression. The depression is much better under control.

But like J said, make sure this medicine is the right one for you. I can not tell you how many the docs tried me on until they found the right one for my chemical makeup.

I understand you completely, when your mind has a hard time wrapping around the fact that we need medicine, just to be "normal". But the way I eased my thoughts about that was, we are no different then a diabetic, needing their insulin, or someone with high blood pressure, needing their medicine, to keep their pressure "normal".

I exercise to and make sure to surround myself with people, who truly care. It goes along way.

I promise you, your are not alone. All that you wrote, I could have.

Thank you for being here and sharing. It helps others as well.

[clareybear89]

I know how you feel
Am going to my doctors tomorrow about seeing someone for help
I have gone through a lot in the past 3 years,lost my close friend,grandad am struggling at work an college an my relationships are suffering
I also have days like you where your happy,full of energy
Then days were you feel like everything is falling apart,mine has gotten to the stage am no suicidal and tried to take my life not long ago because of all this
So do not worry ,you are not alone I know what your going through,with the help of your friends and family ,u will pull thought it:)
Hope this helps
Xx

[allofme]

You only have one life and if you don't like the meds, then go back and say you need to look into a new direction or new meds, but leave no stone unturned. A lot of disorders and diagnosises have the same syptoms as you have listed, ADHD is often overlooked, I'm no doctor, but plain ole stress will do it too, as well as past crap from your family could have has given you some inablilties to deal with bad days as well. You deserve to live a good life, take charge and do it now! Could you imagine a life where you look forward to your day, almost everyday? Could you imagine being able to talk yourself into going for a walk or off to some exciting fun activity with your friends instead of being down in the dumps all day? Only you can insist for yourself that this happens, and I wouldn't settle for anything less.
I had a similar time in my life and I went to counselling for 7 years and I also have been diagnosed with ADHD and life really can get better, so make sure you make yourself your priority, then everything else will follow.