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miller3 · Jun 20, 2008, 10:52 AM

I had a question... when a person says after, during, a relationship that they do not know if they love a person in the relationship.. what does that really mean? What are the options? When I asked my now ex girlfriend if she loves me she said she does not know after us being broken up for over 3 months. Now when we first separated she said she loves me and now she says she does not know. Is this something if she doesn't love me could come back? I mean it seems she needs time to see but does it really mean that she does not? Can someone not then do in a small amount of time? Just a general question thank you..

talaniman · Jun 20, 2008, 10:59 AM

during, a relationship that they do not know if they love a person in the relationship.. what does that really mean? What are the options?

It means that for whatever reasons their feelings have changed and they may not know why. Maybe the intensity has cooled off or they are distracted by more pressing issues, or maybe they have issues of their own to deal with. The reason can be anything but the bottom line is they feel differently and that signals a change for both partners, to deal with the best way they can. Not sure if that answers your question though.

miller3 · Jun 20, 2008, 11:08 AM

Yes and no. I mean when she broke it off there was no doubt she loved me because she told me. As you are aware I chased her for 2 months and then asked her again and then she said she did not know. Is it because I chased her and did not give her space? I mean it has been a month of nc so I do not know how she feels for me now but it is possible with all that was going on she was confused on what to do or say because she told me she was confused. Do you agree leaving her alone will hwlp her think and maybe she will truly know what she wants? I have seen people say that and then months later go back with the person because they all od a sudden realize they love that person.

miller3 · Jun 20, 2008, 11:14 AM

I will agree with you that something caused her to feel the way she does and I know what the cause was. We were going through a rough time, but I never lost the love for her or was confused. My situation really sucks because the issues we were having the last few months together was not with us but with her mom involving her self in our relationship. Then she started to have remose towards me and started to bring things that went wrong in the past. It was a lot to take on let me tell you.