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    ayna's Avatar
    ayna Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 13, 2008, 02:34 AM
    Confused about my ex boyfriend
    Me and my boyfriend broke up last week and he said he still really wanted to be my friend, I even thought very upset, accepted this. The next day I rang him to arrange getting and giving our things back to each other, he told me he'd ring the next day as he was at work at the time. However, it has been a week and he still hasn't contacted me. Im not sure what this means, why he's not spoken to me or anything. I don't know whether to think he way lying about continuing friendship or what?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jun 13, 2008, 05:12 AM
    Could be he is taking the time to heal and move on? If you read these threads, No Contact and healing, is the basis of all the advice after a break up.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #3

    Jun 13, 2008, 07:10 AM
    Sounds like he's not THAT interested. I don't think he outright lied to you, but his idea of a friend (someone you hear from every few weeks) and yours (someone who calls every other day?) may be different.

    Either way, it's clear you want more from him than he's interested in giving, as a b/f or as a friend.

    It's over. Now it's just working through the aftermath and getting over it. Moving on is the only sane course. Everything else you do that doesn't move you away is probably just more pain. You are in control of how much of that painful time you're going to require.
    kadian's Avatar
    kadian Posts: 30, Reputation: 0
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    #4

    Jun 13, 2008, 07:47 AM
    He doesn't want to talk to you just leave him alone
    ayna's Avatar
    ayna Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 13, 2008, 10:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ayna
    Me and my boyfriend broke up last week and he said he still really wanted to be my friend, i even thought very upset, accepted this. The next day i rang him to arrange getting and giving our things back to each other, he told me he'd ring the next day as he was at work at the time. However, it has been a week and he still hasn't contacted me. Im not sure what this means, why he's not spoken to me or anything. I don't know whether to think he way lying about continuing friendship or what?
    Its so confusing because the break up happened so quickly, one minute we were telling each other that we wanted to live together, the next he's telling me he just wants to be friends, I thought we were perfect for each other, that's why its confusing. Am I totally naïve in thinking that he's not contacted to give stuff back because maybe he wants to keep things and is maybe just as upset about the whole thing as I am?
    I understand that as "friends" you don't have 2 contact them everyday or every week even, but as boyfriend and girlfriend we had been through a lot together, for nearly 2 years, so to go from that 2 not talking even after splitting up, is making my brain hurt in trying 2 understand what I'm to do about him.
    eastcoast1's Avatar
    eastcoast1 Posts: 34, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Jun 13, 2008, 11:07 AM
    Unfortunately that's reality- once the dumper pulls the plug (and keep in mind he has been thinking about this for a while) they don't want anything to do with you. This might change with a lot of time, and it might not. Why try to be friends with someone that is causing you this pain? Honestly a friendship is not recommended, the relationship and the friendship are broken.

    Let time take its course and focus on yourself, I know it sucks, and it hurts, but believe me that by talking to him, and keeping contact it will cause more pain in the long run.

    Chin up, keep us updated

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