[kanejki]

Hi.I had a fight with my GF we were first friends(we only used to communicate via phone but we could meet occasionaly) for a year.after a year when I told her of how I felt she told me she felt the same way and we began having an intimate relationship which lasted for 6 months we are in different colleges but in the same city.we had a fight during Easter.she said an unknown gal kept on calling her and telling her to keep off me because I was the unknown gal's boyfriend.she told me these crying so much.she asked me to give her time to be alone.I could hear any of that and I got mad and pushed her and even gave her an altimutum-which I regret.10 days after the fight I called her and apologized, a week later I called her and asked if we could meet and she declined,I asked her if we could settle our differences.she told me MAYBE she could sit down and weigh on everything that is if I don't push her.I call her weekly and sometimes she sound mad.her birthday is ten days from today.I still love her.should I give up?what shuold I do on her birthday ?just wait?please help.thanks

[brian1231]

She wants LC or NC. Go NC or LC. Make her contact you. She already knows how you feel. The more you push, the more you push her away.

[JBeaucaire]

The NoContact thing is awesome if you're trying to get over her. It's also respectful if you're trying to let her get over you.

Is either of those things true for you? It doesn't sound like it.

You're a man. Make a man plan. You may have to be persistent, but creative, too. Yes pursuing her can push her away, but ignoring her or relenting to her wishes to be left alone can result in the same thing... she's gone and off with someone else.

If you're not OK with that, you have to keep trying. The hard part is getting an in back with her without being too much of a stalker or crazy nut-job. Your good humor, even nature, and general good disposition must be what she sees through all your attempts to "start over" with her.

So, maybe that would work. Truly start over. Initiate contacts with her like you're a stranger and introducing yourself. Could be fun.

Right now, you've lost her. The worst that can happen is that stays true, so you might as well go for it.

[talaniman]

I got mad and pushed her and even gave her an altimutum-...
MAYBE she could sit down and weigh on everything that is if I don't push her

Very bad behavior here with being physical, and that will not cut it for whatever reason. Now you have scared her and she needs time, and you need to check your behavior. Do that first, and make sure she knows you're an idiot, and will never put your hands on her ever again. Anger management maybe?? She may consider talking to you if your trying to make amends for your past mistakes, but don't expect her to just come around, until you have proven she is safe with you.

[JBeaucaire]

I read his line "I pushed her and gave her an ultimatum" as a relational "push", not a real physical one.

You didn't push her for real, did you?