[FTP]

I recently found a friend that I had not seen for several years due to a misunderstanding plus age difference, currently late 20’s and 30’s. At one time we were alumni’s together. Didn’t realized how much I missed and cared about him till I saw him again. I inquired if he was married or had a relationship with anyone in which he stated he was single as was I. I found it ironic that either of us after all this time had actually found someone special in our lives yet.

Started to hang out with him things then things went rather quickly and in a short period I slept with him. Something inside told me to slow down , that I couldn’t expect this person to feel the same way after all these years, things changed, both had changed but I figured since neither of us had a commitment with anyone there was nothing wrong with it.

Soon after I started to suspect that he was not thinking the same way about our friendship. I noticed his eyes looking at other people while in my company. Then finally one time, I found a love tag on his neck and this is when I decided it was time to come clean and lay the cards on the table.

He confessed that he had been screwed over by other relationships and friends in the monetary sense. He felt he had to start over and as a male, felt incompetent because he was unable to offer anyone anything at this point and therefore was incapable of giving love to anyone. However, he did express that he valued our friendship very much and was also happy that he had found me too.

Meanwhile, I must confess, it hurt , and although I wished he would feel like I do, I value our friendship more than anything in this world! He is kind and gentle and so sweet. We still hang out and have lots of fun when we are together. But I can’t help to still hope that this friendship could develop into something more meaningful. I would like to continue and find out but I do not want to set myself up for a disappointment nor want to be disrespected by Mr. wondering eye. I find it to be a sign of disrespect when you are spending time with the opposite sex whether it is a friend or especially a loved one and that type of behavior is going on. Is there potential or am I kidding myself?

All of your advice will be greatly appreciated and taken into consideration. I'd especially like to know what a male point of view is since this usually happens the other way around.

Sincerely,

Don’t want to lose hope

[manimuth]

Sorry, I'm not a male but I would like to tell you what I think.
I think that this was a wonderful experience in your life, where you were reunited with an old friend but if you want more than that, I think you might be disappointed. The reason I feel this way is because he has openly and honestly told you his position and his feelings and neither involves you right now. So, just enjoy having an old friend back. Don't invest any romantic time or feeling into this. Just go with the flow and see what happens. If you find that you can't be "just friends" with him now, back off and give yourself time to recover.
Who knows, anything can happen but your time and life are too valuable to wait around for someone else's feelings to change.
Good luck