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franks1185 · May 10, 2008, 04:40 PM

Ok so I posted a thread on here a few days ago saying my girlfriend needed a break because she said she felt as if I was falling faster for her then she was for me, and that she wasn't sure if she sure if she was ready for a serious relationship because she was hurt big time in her last and only serious relationship... so she needed a break to figure out her problems and know what she wanted...

About 3 nights later into the break (I kept NC during that time) she texts me and says " long time no see =("... I just said " i know" back because I didn't want to seem I'm hoping right aboard and wanted to see if she was able to bring something up on her own without me leading on with a question...

So I waited like a day or so (no response since my yea I know) and I text her to ask how is she doing... she says that she is not doing well and she misses me... I had written a note to her that I felt covered our misunderstanding so I gave her the letter after I knew she missed me... and she said that she loved it and it made her so happy that I understood she was just looking out for herself... I told her I wished I understood sooner and she said that it is OK because I understand now...

Now here is the question... We never officially ended things she needed a break to see how the break went... now after these conversations with her... how do I go about asking where our relationship is it now ? I don't want to fall into the same hole and seem like I'm pressuring her but I do need to know... and no there is no other guy involved or anything like that I know she is a genuine girl and know she needed this break to figure out things for herself

nickshehe · May 10, 2008, 05:00 PM

You give her the space and time she initially asked for.. Don't ask her where you two stand, just go with the flow.. keep your distance.. It's still early..

daniel2020 · May 10, 2008, 05:10 PM

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Now she has to understand that you have to look out for yourself. Unless you are a toy that she can pick up whenever she wants, than ge together with her. But if you love yourself and respect yourself, you will start looking for someone who really loves you. So play on, Playa!

franks1185 · May 10, 2008, 05:21 PM

I don't understand... everybody in this forum makes it seem if people take a break its over never talk to them again... my heart and gut is telling me she took this break not because she thinks I'm a toy because she was looking out for her well being and got scared and a few days without me it made her realize that's she might be willing to take take that step forward... I know so many people who have taken breaks multiple times and always end up back together

Jiser · May 10, 2008, 05:22 PM

If she wanted a break you should have offered her the door, a cup of coffee and the paper.

Been there and if you can't work through your problems together then what hope is there for the future?

She's confused of her feelings for you, or something else is having an affect on her feelings. She's obviously not capable of leaving her toy or safety net for to long and she's scared of being independent.

IMO you have two solutions:

1) Walk away mate and don't look back.
2) Arrange a face to face meeting and talk through the issues - communication is the best. (Do it without the BS)

talaniman · May 11, 2008, 07:08 AM

franks1185, I don't understand... everybody in this forum makes it seem if people take a break its over never talk to them again...

That's because you give them what they asked for, and let them make up their minds without pressure from you. It also keeps you from asking them to many questions that only confuse you both. Case in point, look at your own situation.

My heart and gut is telling me she took this break not because she thinks I'm a toy because she was looking out for her well being and got scared and a few days without me it made her realize that's she might be willing to take take that step forward...

Your heart, Your gut, fact is you don't know what she is thinking or feeling, or even if she knows.

I know so many people who have taken breaks multiple times and always end up back together

Kid games. That goes for older folks also, as they play kids games too. Don't look at bad examples for a good course of action. You have questions you want answers to, but you may not get them at this time. Let her do her own thinking, and I know that's hard but you must. So stop assuming, and focus on you.