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gulshangulati · Mar 13, 2007, 01:29 AM

Hi Friends,

I was (or may be I am) in love with a girl from last 3 years. Initially she was near to my town for about 1 year so we were used to meet once or twice every week & she was crazy for me. I was not too serious about her (bcoz she was very simple gal) but she kept liking me. 1.5 year back I thought she could be a good life partner as she having all qualities like caring, ambitious etc. so we decided for marriage.

Now from last 5-6 months I get too serious & possesive for her. That was okay and we were used to talk whole nights & days on phone with so many dreams. 2 months back she got the job in a good company so we couldn't talk much on phone. Than she started making foolish execuses to me like my height is one inch smaller than her, she is too far from my town and they are only two sisters in family (no brother) so her parents will never agree for marriage. Which was frsustrating me and I yelled a couple of times on her due to this problem that why can't she spare time for me now as she was used to? Even if I can spare time in my office and at home for her than why she can't and this thing was making me upset.

Few days back she said me that we will not talk for few days as she need some space. I unwillingly accepted and ignoring her miss calls and now she is calling and sending me general sms. I'm not able to understand what she wants now? If she still likes me now or another guy in her life? Should I call back or answer her calls and sms? What will be good for me..

Please help... your expert comments/queries expected.

Thanks
Goldy

chuff · Mar 13, 2007, 01:37 AM

It sounds like she's not sure what she wants. I'd continue not talking for awhile, other than maybe answering a call and letting her know that she was the one that wanted no contact so you will honor her wish and follow it for a set amount of time that might be a month, 3 months, 6 months, or someother amount of time. Tell her that you and she are not on the same page and you are going to take the time away to work on some things and on your own state of mind. Tell her she should do the same or at least clear her mind and decide what she wants.

gulshangulati · Mar 13, 2007, 01:50 AM

Originally Posted by chuff

It sounds like she's not sure what she wants. I'd continue not talking for awhile, other than maybe answering a call and letting her know that she was the one that wanted no contact so you will honor her wish and follow it for a set amount of time that might be a month, 3 months, 6 months, or someother amount of time. Tell her that you and she are not on the same page and you are going to take the time away to work on some things and on your own state of mind. Tell her she should do the same or at least clear her mind and decide what she wants.

That's what I am doing. I am giving her space and time from last few days. We used to give miss calls to each other thruogh out the day and night and talking on phone. But now she is only doing miss calls and general sms that how everything is going on.

I just want to make sure is she really love me? Or just keeping me as backup for future? I asked her so many times if she is having any other guy in life just tell me clearly but she said nothing like that. But she said that she is having some new guys as simple friends in his new office.

One thing of that I wondered last day she called me after 3-4 days and said she is doing fine, all is well and "i didnt missed u a bit". I am wondering why she said she didn't missed me and I was just smiling. She definitely missing me. She also said me that coming satday we will meet on internet and said me to come online. Should I go to see her because even we both haven't seen each other from last 2 years.

-Goldy

Jiser · Mar 13, 2007, 02:35 AM

Giver her space and work on yourself. Become that fun, bubbly person you were before you met her! You don't need anyone else to be happy - so love yourself first then by all means pursue her. Remember you don't need her, you just desire.

Do not push and ask questions either about where she is, who's she with, if there is another man that will just further push her away from you.

talaniman · Mar 13, 2007, 09:19 AM

should I go to see her because even we both haven't seen each other from last 2 years.

Just my opinion, phoning, texting, online, not a substitute for face to face, in person dating and getting to know one another. I'm old school.

chuff · Mar 13, 2007, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Just my opinion, phoning, texting, online, not a substitute for face to face, in person dating and getting to know one another. I'm old school.

Hmmm. What is this face to face you describe? As in person? Next thing you'll tell me is that TV's didn't always have remotes.

talaniman · Mar 13, 2007, 11:01 AM

Hmmm. What is this face to face you describe? As in person? Next thing you'll tell me is that TV's didn't always have remotes.

ROFLMAO!! And phones don't take pictures!!

gulshangulati · Mar 13, 2007, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!And phones dont take pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys,

Thanks for your suggestions, but problem is that we can't meet face to face now for at least 2 months because I got new job opportunity to work in some other company in different city. And it will not be feasible for me take leave for about a week to go and meet her in-person as she lives too far from my city.

But still in hope for you there is a small good news or may be not.

As last few days I didn't talk to her than she gave me call yesterday and said in chilidish way "I will not come online". I said why she replied "because u now dont talk or call me "(as I was used to do before). I said that was your decision to not to talk for some days than she replied hmmm,. we can talk but not too much. I formely said OK and also told her that I got new job with a handsome salary package.

I am a bit satisfied that she is getting on track. But I want to to get her back on exact position where I was few weeks back. I mean I want her to be serious for me.

Suggest

-Gulshan

chuff · Mar 13, 2007, 10:50 PM

I think your job opportunity was the best thing that could have happened to you at this time. It gives you something to focus on, and it's away from her so that gives you both time to think about and reconsider your situation. Other than that I still say continue doing what your doing. In my opinion, you doing all the right things, and the job is a blessing in disguise.

gulshangulati · Mar 13, 2007, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by chuff

I think your job opportunity was the best thing that could have happened to you at this time. It gives you something to focus on, and it's away from her so that gives you both time to think about and reconsider your situation. .

That's right chuff, but as I already told we both are not in same city from last 2 years. 2 years back she relocated to another city with parents so we have not seen each other from last 2 years. We were in contact only by phone, text and internet.

She has told me 2-3 times to come online so we can asleast see each others facf after such long time. So for now I want you to ask should I come online on cam as she is requesting?

-Gulshan